Lord Dixie's Dark Domain

Mom Vs the Kids-The Tabatha Carlson Story

2012-01-27T09:45:00.000-08:00

The newest movie to be attracting all the buzz at Sundance and Cannes is Mom VS the kids. The movie is comedy/drama based on real events. Mom Vs the kids stars Tits McGee as Tabatha Carlson, and Joe Ripple as her husband Chris. The film also stars CHristoher Lambert as the enigmatic Darth Fussypants, Chuck Carlson as Mr Furley the landlord, and Eric Roman as Lord David Berlin.

Mom Vs the Kids is based on the book written by Tabatha Carlson and based on her real life experience of raisig her kids while her husband purses his career as a Vaudviulle performer. This is made all the more difficult for Tabatha being that Vaudville is dead. Tabatha Carlson also serves as exectutive producer and caterer, proiving that in the movies as well as real life, she can multi task.

Tabatha was also instrumental in casting Tits McGee to play her in the role. We asked Tabatha Carlson why she choose Ms McGee. "Chris was always calling me Tits McGee and I was shocked to see that there actually was an actress Tits McGee. I had to have her in the cast.

When we asked independant film director Joe Ripple why he joined the cast of the Tabatha Carlson bio pic he simnply stated "They promised to stop calling me if I did it"

One of the most controversial moves was to animate the kids instead of using real actors. Tabatha says "We wanted to go for a Roger Rabbit feel, plus Harbey Keitel turned us down for the role of Conner. He said he just wasn't mature enough for the role." Tabatha Carlson as a modern Jessica Rabbit, that's a carrot with no stick, if you get my meaning. When we asked independnet horror film actress Elske McCain her opinion she started screaming and said she thought of it first.

Mom Vs the Kids looks to be a sure win at the box office, giving Tabatha Carlson another blockbuster. I'd be willing to bet my VIP Camp Blood tickets that Tabatha's new movie opens in the top ten. We asked Tabatha how different it was being behind the screens vs being in the spotlight as the star. "Well it's a lot easier to see when your in the spotlight, because there are lights. Behind the screen it can be hard to see, because, well, you're behind the screen."

Also rumored to be in the cast are Michael Gilbert Jr as Ralph Kramden, Morgan Freeman as Captian Kangaroo, and Leonardo DiCaprio as Guy Fawkes, and Miley Cyrus as a young Tabatha Carlson. Why Miley? Because Miley Cyrus is a great Google trend and will help the search engine optimization of the blog.

Just in case I haven't used the term Tabatha Carlson enough to get it to the top of a Google search for Tabatha Carlson, I just want to say Tabatha. Then I will say Tabatha Carlson. Carlson. Some people call her Tabby, but her name is Tabatha Carlson. That should be enough as I want a density of 35-45% for optimal SEO.
Baba booey
Fight the Power, repeal the NDAA!

No Joe Ripples were harmed during the filming of this blog
Tabatha Carlson

Underworld Awakening eyes wide open

2012-01-21T18:08:00.000-08:00

Ok so Underworld Awakening is the newest film in the Underworld series. Now if you are one of those people unfimilair with the Underworld series, aka real horror fans, it is basically the story of a sexy vampire with an S and M fetish who falls in love with the lead singer of Creed.

Stapp or Speedman, you decide

This is the fourth film in the Underworld franchise and it reunites Selene, played by Kate Beckinsale and Michael, played by Scott Stapp, um Scott Speedman. Both stars were absent from the third film. Beckinsale apparently busy with other film projects. Speedman touring with Kid Rock. Their reunion is short however letting Beckinsale carry most of the film. Not that I'm complaining. Leather clad hottie Beckinsale vs weepie emo werewolf, yeah no complaints.

With truth in advertising firmly in mind there is an actual awakening in the film. Of course for an awakening someone must be put to sleep, someone besides the audience that is.

Where Underworld Rise of the Lycans was set in the past the majority of Underworld Awakening is set in the future. Twelve years from the start of the film which we assume is set in the near future. The gist of the film is that the human population has suddenly beome aware of the vampires and werewolves living among them.

We never find out exactly how and can only assume it was from watching True Blood. Michael and Selene's reunion is short loved as the human attack. Michael falls into the ocean and Selene goes after him, as a bomb explodes they embrace, with arms wide open. Ok that's the last Creed joke I promise.

Really hates Alterbridge

Twelve years later, Selene is revived from cryogenic sleep by someone she thinks is Michael. She escapes from a lab to go in search of Michael to find a very different world, where vampires and lycans are almost extinct and in hiding. She also finds that she has given birth while in cryo sleep. How embarressing is that? As she searches for Michael, while trying to protect her hybrid kid, who is the coolest thing about Underworld Awakening, besides Beckinsale's booty, stuff explodes, lycans transform and vampires go "RARRR" in the camera with fangs bared. Ya know usual Underworld stuff.

Fans of the Underworld series won't be disappointed unless they came to see Michael. It's basically more of the same. Kate is still hot, lots of guns, werewolves etc, etc. The series as a whole is getting a bit old but having Beckinsale back adds a bit of juice to it. The open ended conclusion will keep the loyal fans itching till the next film.

My major complaint was the 3-D, which I felt forced to watch as every theater near me only had one non 3-D showing. There was just no need. This is a 3-D movie when 3-D is the norm. It did add to some scenes, and made them look more real. The scenes where a character is just standing or walking and the 3-D adds depth to the scene. However the 3-D dust clouds and gun barrels pointing into the screen are more annoying than anything else.

There was also too much CGI. Now I know complaining about too much CGI in an Underworld film is like complaining there are too many dicks in a gang bang video. Still there was too much CGI. Not so much the transformation scenes, but all through the movie. Especially the giant ass werewolf, honestly why not a normal sized werewolf, just woth more strength and stamina. I honestly felt like I was watcing a Resident Evil movie every time the bigun was on screen.

Last complaint. Kate Beckinsale. Get your kit off or stop teasing. Seriously. You are becoming like that high school girl who always says she MIGHT go out with you, but is always washing her hair. Ok personally I never heard the "washing you hair" story mine was "I might go out with me, call me when you aren't so creepy." In Underworld Awakening we are treated to Kate in a cryo tank naked as naked can be, but do we see anything? Even after the tank breaks we get Kate lying on the floor in what can only be called "lessons in implied nudity 101." All I could keep thinking was "If this was Milla we be seeing some boob," this isn't Milla though. I know being nude on film can be a hard thing to do, and I believe in personal choice, all I'm saying is stop with the tease. Tit or no tit, there is no implied. Sorry Yoda.

With all that I can't say I didn't enjoy Underworld Awakening. However I find it hard to say I enjoyed it. It was just kind of meh. The fights were fun, watching Kate walk around was fun, guns go pow pow. This is the kind of film that should have went straight to DVD. Watching this on Netflix with a cold beer would have been funner than hell. In the theater, I just kept thinking about what I could have used the ten bucks for.

Super hot Beckinsale

So should you rush out to see Underworld Awakening?
Depends on just how much of an Underworld and more importantly a Selene fan you are. Personally I'd say wait till it's on DVD

Don't censor the web

2012-01-18T07:01:00.001-08:00

Tell your COngressmen not to support SOPA, keep the web free.

Megan is Missing

2012-01-14T12:43:00.000-08:00

Megan is Missing

I went into Megan is Missing with basically no prior information on the story. I did know that it dealt with child abduction in soem way but little more. I had heard from friends that it wasn't worth the time and from other friends it was a must see film.

Honestly, after watching it myself, I have to say it falls somewhere in between. It isn't trash, but I don't know if I would call it a classic just yet. It's powerful film, with a powerful message, unfortunately it also has some powerful flaws. Those flaws unfortunately lend to the power of the film, but they still are flaws in my opinion.

Megan is Missing is a disturbing film, some have said the most disturbign film of all time. I think a lot of the disturbign quality will come from how closely you identify with the characters. Mothers with teen daughters will be very disturbed, all parents will be bothered. In all honestly, mothers with weak hearts should maybe pass on Megan is Missing. Which is a problem with the film. Many of the people who will be the most moved, won't be able to handle it.

Despite what the title might lead you to believe Megan is Missing deals with not just Megan's dissappearane but also that of her best friend Amy. Amy and Megan are teenage best friends and seemingly polar opposites. Unlike most odd couple pairings in films, their friendship comes off as real and unforced. Megan is the cool popular teen, while Amy is a bit of a wall flower. Through online chat rooms, Megan makes friends with an unknown boy, arranging a date and goes missing. After Amy goes to the police with what she knows, she too goes missing. Shortly after we find out what happened and descend into what could be the darkest 22 minutes ever filmed. I will go into those 22 minutes so anyone wishing to avoid a full spoiler can do so.

For the most part Megan is Missing can be described as a "found footage" film along the lines of The Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield. The film quality is better than either of these and there are few if any instances of shaky cam filming though. The majority of the film, at least up to the last 22 minutes, are composed of alleged web cam footage, mixed in with police tapes, news footage, and the girls video diaries. The quality is excellent for this type of film, and my head is glad there was no bouncing footage to bring on a migraine.

As I started watching I had a problem with the girls acting and dialogue, but as I got into the film it sank in that this was what I should be seeing and hearing. This wasn't a high dollar A list film. This was supposed to be two teenage girls "acting" for the cam. When chatting with friends the dialogue and acting was believeable. When they were hamming it up for their video camera, it was more stiff and unbelievebale. The type of script two teens would come up with.

There are several of those moments in Megan is Missing. Moments where at first you think "this is stupid" then realize, "No this could really happen." One of those big moments was when we "meet" Josh. His dialogue screams PREDATOR, but the girls fall for it. Crazy right? Not if you have spent any time around young girls. Teen girls are way too trusting. The fact that this film is based on several accounts of real abductions lends weight to it. Don't believe me? Just check out Facebook, see how many teen girls have their phone numbers listed. Maybe not every teen girl would fall for Josh's lines, but many would.

The treatment of Amy by Megan's other friends also seems exaggertaed at first. She is totally rejected by the other students and verbally abused, even blamed for Megan's dissappearance, but believe it couldn't happen? Bullying is rampant in America. Kids are bullied to the point of suicide. Amy's plight is unfortunately, way to real.

The characters of Megan and Amy were both fleshed out more than typical teen characters. Megan is more than just the oversexed party girl she first appears. She genuinely cares for Amy and puts her own social standing at risk for her. The film makers give us a glimpese into why she acts the way she does, and once again, it's all too real. It might be a bit of a cliche but it works and adds another laer of depth to the character.

Most of the other characters in the film are one dimensional, almost silhouettes . This doesn't detract from the movie, but like a photogrpaher blurring the background, keeps the focus squarely on Megan and Amy. Josh in fact is never fully seen, and in fact we never know for sure if "Josh" is even the one responsible. We ate strongly led to believe that he is the culprit but I could make a case that it isn't. We never see his face, and until the last 22 minutes never see any part of him. There is a blurry image on a security camera of a man who is assumed to be Josh, but we never know for sure.

Which brings us to probably the most disturbing, most controversial part of the film. The final 22 minutes. The onscreen caption decalres it as the final 22 minutesof tape on Amy's video camera, uncut and unedited. While watching this, I checked my clock several times, wishing it was almost over.

I think the director decided to go for reality more than good filmmaking at this point. There was a point, in the last half of those 22 minutes, where it just seemed to keep going with no real purpose, except that it took that long to happen. After the initial shock wears off I just got tired of watching it, and I admit it was bothering me. I also admit I sped the movie up, stopping occasionally to make sure I missed nothing.

It was basically ten minutes or so of the same thing. Boring one part of my mind, disturbing the other. If I had not been told at the beginning of the film that the two girls had never been found, prehaps I could have held more interest, more tension, hoping for that eventual rescue. That was how I watched Martyrs. During the incessant torture there, I kept hoping Ana would escape somehow. In Megan is Missing, I knew what was coming at the end. I just didn't know how I would be taken there. While for me this was a bit of a hinderance I can see most viewers sitting shocked through the whole ordeal. I can also see a lot of people not able to take it and switching the film off. Honestly if I was the ddirector I wouldn't mind people switching off, it just proves how powerful it was.
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Now for spoilers****************************************The Last 22 minutes**********
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The last 22 minutes document exactyly what happened to Amy. Kidnapped by the same person who had kidnapped Megan, Amy is locked away in what appears to be a basement. She is forced to eat what appears to be dogfood (without using your hands). Some point later she is taken out of her cell and visicously raped. I will say this is probably the most vicious rape I have ever seen ion film, and yes I have seen irreversible. The director does this with no graphic gore or nudity. Instead we see a closeup of Amy's face in camera as she is violently raped. You can tell what is happening but all you cna focus on is Amy's face. The baby rape in A Serbian Film looks like a cartoon compared to this. This is real, or as real as I ever want to see on film.

As disturbing as this is it's the end that will probably haunt people the most. I didn't time it, and it seemed to go on forever, but I'd estimate 10 minutes or so is pure torture (no better word)for the viewer. Amy is forced into a barrel with Megan's corpse and it is sealed shut. The camera is placed on the ground and we watch as Josh digs what is to become their grave. All the while we hear Amy cry and beg for her life. We know how it's going to end and after what seems an eternity it does.

The movie has been condemned for it's disturbing content among other things. I have heard complaints that it glorifies teen sex, that it unreasonably scares parents, and presents and unrealistic portrait of teen life. The film is disturbing, I wont argue that point, but unlike many shocking films it is practically gore free.

The gore is so scarce that the few, well timed moments of visceral horror really take you by surprise. When we see Megan's corpse it was like a slap in the face. It only on screen for a fraction of a second, but that was enough, in fact it was brilliant. Not long enough to look for the effects, but long enough to sear in your brain. Then the horror of knowing Amy was locked into the barrel with the decomposing body of her best friend, was almost unbearable.

As to it's effects on parents, I might also reluctantly agree, to a point anyway. I do think that parents should be more aware of their kids internet activity. There really are "Joshs" out there, as well as a multitude of other predators, some worse than others. However we can't go to the point of locking our children away in towers, and I see many children facing stricter curfews after their parents watch Megan is Missing. Hopefully parents will also take note of what ultimately drove Megan down the path she took. While a dysfunctional family doesn't guarentee a bad end, it definitely weighs the odds toward it.

Anyone who thinks the portrayal of teens is off, honestly doesn't know teens. In fact I think they made a direct hit. One thing that caught my eye was the way Amy was handled. As the ugly duckling in the friendship she barely exists to those around her. It's as if the film makers are confirming that in the teenagers world, she isn't as important as Megan. Even after her disappearance, all the focus is on Megan. Megan's name is in the title and on the lips of everone discussing the film, yet it is Amy who's torture we are forced to endure.

Megan is the name on everyone's lips when discussing the film, and I'm sure a lot of people will associate the torture with Megan. In our heads Megan is who is getting tortured. It's like the director is forcing us to face the fact that girls like Amy aren't as important to us. As much as we rail and storm at the evil bullies who abuse those who are different, we are all guilthy of being drawn to the beautiful people.

Or maybe I"m way off base.

So my opinion? While technically it might not be a great film, it packs a whallop. It paints an all too real, all too scary picture, and accpmplishes what the director intended. It scares the shit out of parents. While I will say this definitely qualifies as a horror film. a lot of horror films might find it slow and boring. I found the burial scene both disturbing, and well not boring but tedious. I admit I fast forwarded though it. The film is basically gore free which will make it more accessible to a wide audience but will turn off soem hardcore fans, and fans of Saw and Hostel. That part is a shame because this movie will actually scare them. In many ways Megan is Missing has brougt fear back into a largely neutered genre.

Do yourself a favor (if you can call it that) and check out Megan is Missing. Just be prepared to be disturbed.

That is not dead...

2012-01-13T19:27:00.001-08:00

Seriously, I am still here. Abandomed by adsense I will persevere, new movie review is almost completed.

My final word on the matter (for now)

2012-01-04T03:34:00.001-08:00

It’s seems I keep forgetting that I live in the south. Not that I hate the south or anything. I actually love it here. It’s just that the area I live in is somewhat progressive (in ways) and it always manages to shock me when I run across open bigotry.

Not that bigotry doesn’t exist outside the south, it does. But the genteel southern style of open racism and homophobia just seems to be so bitter. It is so deeply ingrained, not just from people’s parents but from their religion. I grew up in a Methodist church but it was not what you would call open. The one I spent most of my young life in, definitely isn’t open minded and I won’t set foot inside it again while I am living.

You see I saw racism there first hand and have written about it before. The ugly, evil vile side of southern racism in the sweetest little church you would ever want to attend. As long as you were white that is. Now that was racism, and today I really wanted to touch on homophobia. Maybe that’s not exactly the right term but it is close enough to serve.

It’s about gay rights and gay marriage. It’s a big issue, not just in the south but everywhere. Almost all opposition to gay marriage comes from a religious basis. Either a religious basis or an ignorant whiny “It just aint right” which seems to most to be all the explanation and reason needed. Some anti-gay rights people want to claim it’s not religious based, but that’s just a sham to try and gain secular support. It all goes back to “’cause the bible tells me so.”

Supporters of gay rights like to offer creative reinterpretations of the biblical passages that condemn homosexuality. I have used those same arguments. The fact that Jesus Christ never mentions homosexuality, the effeminate nature of David and his relationship with Jonathon, and the fact that homosexuality isn’t mentioned in the Ten Commandments are just some of the arguments.

Even the book of Deuteronomy, probably the biggest religious weapon of the anti-gay forces, has its interpretations to make it less harsh and unforgiving. Still it’s pretty clear and I can’t deny it, Deuteronomy calls it an abomination. At the best we can reinterpret as a kinder, gentler abomination but we can’t really deny it’s there. It’s there and I’m tired of fighting it.

So here’s my final word, finally. After almost 500 final words, here it is and it won’t be popular with a lot of people. I have dodged this final word for a long time because I hate to piss people off. I hate to be defriended on Facebook in the middle of the night. A part of me still wants to fit in, to be every ones friend. Ok I’m stalling again. Here is my final word on Christianity and homosexuality.

I don’t care what the bible says. I’m grown and I know right from wrong. All my life as a religious person I was told that my heart would know right from wrong and it does. I know murder is wrong, I know rape is wrong, and I know that treating people different because of how they were born is wrong. I know not allowing two people who honestly love each other to be together is wrong. I honestly think if Jesus were alive right now, he’d be face palming over the fact that we use his name to justify hate and bigotry, and in the end, that’s all this is, hatred and bigotry mixed with fear.

So defriend me if you like. Talk about me behind my back in your churches, and pray for me if you must, but I don’t care. Nothing you can say will change my mind. Maybe I’ll burn in hell, but I doubt it, at least not for this. Call me a heretic, an apostate, an antichrist, atheist or whatever you like. I know I still believe in a man who preached love, not hatred. A man who would be sickened to see us kill in his name, to see us hate in his name, and just like me, I’d bet he really doesn’t care too much about what Deuteronomy says. He sure didn’t mention it very much.

So feel free to debate me on the subject. I’ll listen but just remember, what the bible says about homosexuality means nothing to me. My friends deserve to live their life to the fullest, just like everyone else. Who they choose to marry shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t matter. I won’t let a 2000 year old book written by superstitious, primitive men won’t change my mind about the subject. I don’t care.

Belated Happy New Year!

2012-01-04T03:32:00.001-08:00

I wanted my first post of 2012 to be cheerful, so Happy New Year! Now on to post number two

The Constitution of the United States of America

2011-12-13T17:17:00.001-08:00

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We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

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Article. I.

Section. 1.

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section. 2.

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section. 3.

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.

No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section. 4.

The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.

The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section. 5.

Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.

Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.

Section. 6.

The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Section. 7.

All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States: If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section. 8.

The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;

To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

To establish Post Offices and post Roads;

To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;

To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

To provide and maintain a Navy;

To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;--And

To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section. 9.

The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or enumeration herein before directed to be taken.

No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another; nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.

Section. 10.

No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.

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Article. II.

Section. 1.

The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President.

The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.

The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Section. 2.

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section. 3.

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section. 4.

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

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Article III.

Section. 1.

The judicial Power of the United States shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section. 2.

The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;--to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;--to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;--to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;--to Controversies between two or more States;-- between a State and Citizens of another State,--between Citizens of different States,--between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.

In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.

The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.

Section. 3.

Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

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Article. IV.

Section. 1.

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.

Section. 2.

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.

A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.

Section. 3.

New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

Section. 4.

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened), against domestic Violence.

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Article. V.

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

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Article. VI.

All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

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Article. VII.

The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

The Word, "the," being interlined between the seventh and eighth Lines of the first Page, the Word "Thirty" being partly written on an Erazure in the fifteenth Line of the first Page, The Words "is tried" being interlined between the thirty second and thirty third Lines of the first Page and the Word "the" being interlined between the forty third and forty fourth Lines of the second Page.

Attest William Jackson Secretary

done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independance of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names,

G°. Washington

Presidt and deputy from Virginia

Delaware

Geo: Read

Gunning Bedford jun

John Dickinson

Richard Bassett

Jaco: Broom

Maryland

James McHenry

Dan of St Thos. Jenifer

Danl. Carroll

Virginia

John Blair

James Madison Jr.

North Carolina

Wm. Blount

Richd. Dobbs Spaight

Hu Williamson

South Carolina

J. Rutledge

Charles Cotesworth Pinckney

Charles Pinckney

Pierce Butler

Georgia

William Few

Abr Baldwin

New Hampshire

John Langdon

Nicholas Gilman

Massachusetts

Nathaniel Gorham

Rufus King

Connecticut

Wm. Saml. Johnson

Roger Sherman

New York

Alexander Hamilton

New Jersey

Wil: Livingston

David Brearley

Wm. Paterson

Jona: Dayton

Pennsylvania

B Franklin

Thomas Mifflin

Robt. Morris

Geo. Clymer

Thos. FitzSimons

Jared Ingersoll

James Wilson

Gouv Morris

The Wicker Tree, trailer and stills

2011-12-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

The Wicker Tree

Pagan celebration in The Wicker Tree

Shades of the original Wicker Man in The Wicker Tree

Original title of The Wicker Tree, Cowboys for Christ

Ok if Nicholas Cage left a bad taste in your mouth that makes you cringe everytime you hear The Wicker Man mentioned, maybe this can take it out. Robin Hardy is about to bring a followup to the classic, and IMO the on Wicker Man to the big screen. The Wicker Tree is based on book, Cowboys For Christ by Hardy and features Christopher Lee. I haven't read to much in this beacuse I want to see it frsh and cold as possible. I have seen the trailer and it looks very interesting. Check it out for yourself. Just released.

Miley's nipples

2011-12-03T09:46:00.000-08:00

So my little play blog "Miley's legal" just had it's adsense ads pulled because I had a picture of a "nipple slip" by little Ms Cyrus. Now I still have some respect for Miley, and thus vicariously for her nipples. She hasn't yet suck to the level of Lindsey, or had a total meltdown like Britney. As far as I know she hasn't sold governement secrets to the Russians, or the Isreali's, or even the Ohians. Thus neither Miley or her nipples are traitors. Yes, Miley and her nipples are patriotic, red, white and blue. Welll actually from that nip slip it looks like Miley's nipples are kind of reddish brown, but that's close enough.

Due to me losing my adsense ads on Mileys Legal because of Miley's nipples, you will never see a picture of Miley's nipples here on The Dark Domain. This is a no nipple zone, especially in respect to Miley's nipples. Billy Ray, if you want to show yours, call me.

Now some may say I am a perv for ever posting a picture of Miley's nipples. I say it's her fault for having nipples. Also if she showed them more often it wouldn't be news worthy enough for me to post a picture of said nipples. Do I feel guilty or evil for posting a picture of Miley's nipples? Hell No, I'm not the one who pulled her bikini top off while out in the open. I didn't even take the picture of Miley's nipples. I would have gotten a clearer picture if I had. Still a nipple is a nipple and it is plainly Miley's nipple in the picture. Unless someone else's nipple was hiding in her top. Wilmar Valdarama (whatever) perhaps? He seems to like underage girls. He was tagging Lindsey when she was 17. Can you say statutory rap Fez? Might not be his nipples but he has probably been in Miley's bikini (<--satire first amendment and all). So don't look here for Miley's nipples. Look in her bikini, look on her breast, look in Colin Farrel's mouth (<-satire again), but dont look here. Yes we haz no nipples, especially of the Miley variety

301 posts

2011-12-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

So even though I didn't notice at the time, my last post was number 300 for my blog. This is AMAZING! (get it?) I really didn't notice I was near a "milestone" but 300 wow. I thought I was still in the 100s. 300 posts shows a greater committment to this blog than any other project I have ever thought up. I guess one reason is I can leave it when I lose interest and come back with a slightly different angle. I can go off topic and even into the Twilight Zone.

I remember when I found I had a Google rank of 2 out of 6. I was thrilled. 2 might sound sucky but it's better than a lot of blogs and websites I have checked. I remember when I first noticed I was getting a lot of hits on my Nikki Aycox post. Then investigating that to find the post was on Google first page on a search for Nikki Aycox.

Then my article about the death of Lorissa McCommas got linked at Freeones.com and started driving huge amounts of traffic. It was nice seeing something I wrote actually being read and people taking interest. Probably my biggest joy as a blogger was when Lorissa's friends and family started leaving comments.

Then the time I had over 1000 visitors in one 24 hour period. That was a milestone that made me shout. My numbers aren't nearly that high now, but they are respectible for a blog usually running between 200 and 500 a day, with vistors all over the world.

The time my friend Alicia excitedly texted me when she had recieved over 600 impressions ( think that was the number) on her blog that came from mine. It felt so good to actually know my blog had done somethign good.

So many high points. I have worked hard on my blog, and I have neglected it. Hopefully it will maintain my interest enough to keep it going. Hopefully it can do more good, greater good. I'm gonna try. If you sat through all this check out my friends in my blog roll, and some of my older posts

Little Bit of Love: The Adventures of Louanna Lee

2011-11-30T16:56:00.000-08:00

Little Bit of Love is the fourth episode in the crime fighting “The Adventures of Louanna Lee” starring none other than teen singer/actress Louanna Lee. Think of Louanna as a bubbly, singing Nancy Drew for a new generation. If any kids today even remember who Nancy Drew was? Really? Wow I feel old right now.

The basic premise of the series is that Louanna usually stumbles upon a mystery and solves it with the help of her friends and family, including her grandfather and cousin Victoria.

In Little Bit of Love, a party is planned for Louanna’s grandfather, played by Baltimore film regular George Stover, in the spooky Wittingham Manor. Something isn’t quite right and after the lights go out people start to disappear. The evidence first points to Louanna’s boyfriend Sam, but is he really the guilty one? Never fear Louanna Lee is on the case! With the help of the police and a cool as ice cat burglar, Louanna is able to ferret out the real killer.

This was the first time I have seen one of the Adventures of Louanna Lee. I have heard of her through my friends in the Baltimore film community, but assumed it was more of a teen series. I always intended to watch an episode, but just never got around to it. I have several friends who worked in Little Bit of Love which is only fair for me to say in the interest of transparency. However I will try to not let this affect how I feel about the film, and judge it on its merits.

The DVD cover of Little Bit of Love refers to it as a “spooky whodunit.” I was hoping for a little bit more “spooky” than what I got, which is probably my biggest complaint. Hey, I’m a horror fan, I like it with a little blood and gore. However I know this is aimed more at a family audience and small kids will find it spooky at times. I miss those days before I got so jaded.

For a lower budget film the production values were very good. For the most part I bought it. The only scene I felt like I was watching effects versus real life was one scene in the rain. Still that’s a tiny complaint and most viewers would never notice. I can be a bit of an effects snob, but honestly I have seen bigger budget films with worse effects.

The more vetern actors all play it straight and give believable performances. No one is phoning it in, they are all giving it their best. Leanna Chamish looks better than ever, and gives a great performance. My friend Alfred Guy is the coolest cat burglar you will ever see. Props to you Al. Louanna's acting chops might not be up to par with Stover and Chamish, but her personality is infectious, and bubbly and kids will take a liking to her real fast. Plus I have to admit her songs do tend to get stuck in your head, and not in a Rebecca Black kind of way.

What I like most about Little Bit of Love, is that it reminds me of the television I loved when I was growing up; a time when television was filled with wholesome family fare like The Wonderful World of Disney, and The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries. It was a time teens and preteens could get involved in action and adventure, and not have it resolve around sex. I know kids are more jaded now and grow up faster so the question is, would kids enjoy this?

I think a lot of them would if they got the chance. The Adventures of Louanna Lee is, in my opinion a wholesome alternative to Disney now. It’s not spooky enough to scare anyone except possibly the youngest kids. The acting can be a bit hammy at times but I think this type of overacting will be found funny by older kids used to goofy Disney and Nick characters. There’s also a hint of romance, but not enough to give parents cause to worry.

So would I pay to see Little Bit of Love at the theater? No probably not, while it’s a decent movie it’s the type of film I would pay theater prices for, and I think my nephews would be too distracted by the arcade just outside in the lobby. Would I buy it on DVD? Not for myself, but definitely for my nephews or kids. It makes great home viewing for them. While it might be a little less glitzy than Disney, it has enough humor to keep them entertained, when they are tired of the Xbox

At a time when more and more parents use the TV, and the internet, as a babysitter, the Adventures of Louanna Lee is a babysitter they won’t have to worry about throwing a wild party while they are gone.

Hiss Hottie Mallika Sherawat

2011-11-27T12:05:00.000-08:00

Super Sexy Mallika Sherawat

Jennifer Lynch tapped into Indian mythology for her 2010 movie Hisss. It features Mallika Sherawat as the shape changing super sexy snake goddess the Nagin. Mallika heats up the film just like she has heated up Bollywood in general. The beautiful Mallika has stirred controversy through out her native land by her willingness to show some skin and bring the sexy to her films. India is ultra conservative and Mallika is anything but conservative

Check out a few pictures of the exquisite Mallika Sherawat, and then check out Hisss by Jennifer Lynch.

Bollywood Sexy Starlet Mallika Sherawat

Hisss hottie Mallika Sherawat

The hottest starlet in Bollywood Malliak Sherawat

Sexy to the extreme Mallika Sherawat

Busty Sexy Mallika Sherawat

Sexy Santa Bethany

2011-11-20T16:46:00.000-08:00

Don't you just fucking hate it when people start celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving? Some even start before Halloween. Well not me, I am not celebrating until December, not decorating, not buying presents. However I will enjoy Sexy Santa Bethany as she celebrates

Sexy Santa Bethany

Sexy Santa gift wrapped

Sexy Santa

Sexy Christmas

Sexy Santa Silent Night

An Interview with Frazer Lee

2011-11-19T19:54:00.000-08:00

I had the pleasure of meeting Frazer Lee several years ago in Hunt Valley Maryland. As with so many of my celebrity encounters back then, I was completely shitfaced when we first met. In fact I was shit faced most of that weekend. It was a fun time and we really hit it off so I picked up a copy of his short films Red Lines and On Edge. After watching the I became of fan of Frazer and consider him a personal friend.

This month Frazer’s newest E book The Lamplighters was released from Samhain publishing. It was the number one book on the horror best sellers list when it debuted and is still doing good as of my typing. Frazer was nice enough to grant me an interview over Facebook. Don’t beat me up to bad, this is my first interview J.

Dixie: Tell us a little bit about The Lamplighters?

Frazer: The Lamplighters is my first novel for Samhain Horror and is about a young woman, Marla Neuborn, who gets her dream post grad job working on an idyllic island - but then discovers things are not quite so rosy as the job spec would have her believe!

Dixie: I understand Lamplighters actually exist, did you coin the phrase? Or was it already in use?

Frazer: A friend told me about the 'real' lamplighters, who are basically caretakers in places like Monaco where the super-rich go out to play. I then realized I’d seen the term used elsewhere in novels by Dickens and le Carre among others.

Dixie: I’m about halfway through with The Lamplighters. It started pretty damn bloody, but I have a feeling it’s going to get bloodier?

Frazer: Oh it just might get a little bloodier! I don't want to give spoilers but suffice to say life on Meditrine Island is no picnic, that's for sure!

Dixie: Any plans to adapt The Lamplighters for the screen?

Frazer: I would love for that to happen if there were any interest.

Dixie: Is writing an E book any different that writing a traditional book? (a different thought process) Was the Lamplighters planned as an E book from the beginning?

Frazer: Nope, a novel is a novel whether it is released digitally or in print - the novel is the form, the product is the format. The Lamplighters eBook released on November 1st and the paperback follows February 7th 2012.

Dixie: Doug Bradley of Hellraiser fame, starred in your short films Red Lines and On Edge, as well as being attached to Urbane. How did you first meet Doug?

Frazer: I'd seen Doug in his Hellraiser movies of course, and attended a 'Behind the Mask' talk he did at the British Film Institute, but didn't meet him in person until we talked about 'On Edge'.

Dixie: Red Lines was my first experience of seeing Doug on screen without makeup, other than a few scenes in the Hellraiser series. To me his performance was more chilling without the pins.

Frazer: I'm glad to hear you were digging it. He's a fine actor and there's more to him than pins and latex for sure.

Dixie: Is there any word on when Panic Button will be released in the US?
Frazer: No news as yet, but keep an eye on www.panicbuttonmovie.com

Dixie: I have this weird thing, that I won't buy an E reader. I think some of my friends are looking at me like I might be the next Unabomber? I just mourn what I feel is the death knell of "real" book? Do you think this is weird? I otherwise love technology, but I'm just afraid when books exist only as files they can too easily be redacted and edited by big brother?

Frazer: Not weird at all, i don't own an E-reader device either, i love the tactile experience of a book, the smell of it. On those occasions where I’ve proofread a manuscript or a screenplay i have always, without exception, printed the thing off and read it that way. I write using a combo of handwritten notes & typing on my laptop but i suck at reading on-screen.

Dixie: Book burning have always been a tool of oppression and a rallying call for freedom. A file erasing party just doesn't have the same pizzazz, don’t you think?

Frazer: You make a good point there. In between that and the whole Wikileaks thing there's maybe a helluva horror/thriller story idea :)

Dixie: What is your next writing project? Anything in the oven now?

Frazer: Well, i have the movie novelization of 'Panic Button' coming out soon. The producers of the movie commissioned me to write it based on the screenplay. Other than that I’m lining up a couple of screenplay deals and am working on another horror novel.

Dixie: Pendragon rising was probably one of my favorite of your short stories. I love historical horror like Chelsea Quinn Yarbarough (sp) and of course Anne Rice. What's your take on this subgenre and do you plan on doing anything similar? Adam and Eve meet Cthuhlu maybe? Noah vs. The Kraken?

Frazer: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed that story, i really enjoyed writing it, it was one of those ideas that just buzzed around in my mind for ages and wouldn't go away. I love historical horror too, although to be accurate in the case of the King Arthur tales, mythological horror might be a better description. I'd love to do more and i do have another of those ideas that just won't go away but i won't mention it in case i scare the muse away!

Dixie: Remakes are all the rage in Hollywood, but also face a backlash from hardcore fans. If offered the chance to remake a horror classic would you do it? My personal feeling is, don't blame the guy getting a big break, as the film will get made anyway if the money is there. However I do get a bit angry when an established star desecrates a classic?

Frazer: Wow that's a big can of worms you've opened there Allen, i hope you're hungry :D I think it is the duty of indies to come up with the new ideas, you know? The new potential franchises, the new talent for the studios to then leap on. But it doesn't always happen like that, sadly. The studios aren't meant to take risks, it's not in their remit to do so, so you kinda expect them to churn out endless sequels and remakes. But the indies are only limited by the power of their imagination. Now, a few of the indie kids are remaking horror classics and i think they should maybe stop because they are just playing to the crowd. Horror fans and the industry are looking to these guys for innovation, you know?

If I was offered the chance to remake a horror classic, would i really see it as a chance or as a quick buck? On the one hand, I could take that gig and perhaps use it to help get an original work into production. Or I could maybe just have the balls to try and get the original work into production on its own merits, you know?

Dixie: If you could remake any film what would it be? or would you rather stick with original content?

Frazer: I can't think of a single film I would want to remake. I have several feature length screenplays I would LOVE to make though

Dixie: I think a lot of the rage at remakes from real fans, is that so many original projects never see the light "cough" Urbane "cough", and yet Hollywood wants to tinker with classics for a cheap buck. What's your feeling on this?

Frazer: I've learned over the years that it is in fact very common for dozens of great projects to never actually get made. I've also learned it is called the movie "business" for a very good reason!

Dixie: How hard is it to get a project to the big screen?

Frazer: Oh, it's incredibly hard but it all depends on your intent. If you wanna make a handheld phonecam zombie gorefest with your buddies then that's pretty easy to follow through on. If your intent is to pay people, shoot in a certain way, tell a big story...prepare to suffer because it is going to be a long hard road!

Dixie: Ok, I think that should wrap it up. I could honestly go into a dozen tangents think, but I need to finish the Lamplighters and my other dozen open projects. Any last thoughts?

Frazer: Only to say a big THANK YOU Allen for the chat, it's been most enjoyable. And anyone reading this, please say hi at http://www.frazerlee.com/. I'm also on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/AuthorFrazerLee and on Twitter: http://twitter.com/frazer_lee

Thanks Frazer and best of luck on your future projects.

Miss Social Network Organization - The most prestigious online modeling competition in the world!

2011-11-08T15:45:00.000-08:00

Miss Social Network Organization - The most prestigious online modeling competition in the world!

2011-11-08T15:41:00.000-08:00

Miss Social Network Organization - The most prestigious online modeling competition in the world!

Meet Draven everyone

2011-11-07T16:42:00.000-08:00

Reposted from Scares That Care

Ladies and Gentlemen; This is little guy is Draven (Named after the title character in the move “The Crow.”) Draven was born in July 2008 with hypo-plastic left heart syndrome – a severe heart defect where both chambers on the left side are under developed and do not pump blood. He required surgery at 6 days old and then had a second open heart surgery at 5 months old. He went into heart failure in November 2010 and went into the hospital for two months, was released as stable and was placed on a transplant list in June for a new heart. Currently he gets bi-weekly chemo treatments to kill off his antibodies and antigens so he can match to a new heart and not reject it.

Read the rest of the story here
http://scaresthatcare.org/site/uncategorized/have-a-heart-for-draven

Red State (2011) -Review

2011-10-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

Kevin Smith's Red State

My plans for this weekend didn’t include writing a review for Red State. Actually my plans didn’t even include watching Red State the new Kevin Smith film. I had heard of the film, as almost everyone in the horror community has, but it just wasn’t in my priority list of movies to watch. I had hoped to catch the film on the big screen, but that didn’t materialize.

I knew it was released on video, but I guess I just didn’t buy into the hype. I have been disappointed so many times, and honestly I had expected Smith was going to make basically a “conservatives are evil” propaganda film based on the name. It was filed into the “watch it whenever” category.

After watching it I can say that Red State, does not belong in the “watch it whenever” file. It belongs in the go out and buy it and watch Red State now category.

Michael Parks from Kevin Smith's Red State as Abin Cooper

Red State is probably the most chilling American film I have seen since; well actually I don’t know when I was last this terrified. Red State is a horror film that is all too real. It could happen tomorrow, it could happen today, it could already be happening as I type this.

Based loosely on real life events and people, it paints a grim picture of religious fanatics, and post 9/11 America and the Patriot Act. Red State stars Michael Parks, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, and Kevin Pollack.

Parks portrays a fanatical minister based loosely on the reverend Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church. Smith does make it clear that Parks church is far to the extreme of Phelps, but the similarities are all too real to ignore. Parks character Abin Cooper is the paternal leader of his Five Points Church, which like Westboro is basically composed of family members and their spouses.

The group also protests what it calls the acceptance of homosexuality by the American government and people. Unlike the real life counterparts, the Five Points Church takes its protests to far more sinister and violent ends.

Parks pretty much rules his every scene. I seriously, no joke, got chills during his first onscreen appearance and sermon. Far from overacting, he got it right. His sermon was one that way too many people hear in real life each week. He was the epitome of a charismatic fanatic without being a caricature of one. If the reverend Abin Cooper and what he stands for doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will.

Cooper isn’t the only villain in Red State though. The ATF’s actions are heavily based on the assault on the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas. True we don’t know what orders were really given in Waco, this is fiction after all, but it’s not too farfetched to believe an order very similar was given.

John Goodman, who as ATF agent Keenan at first appears to be a heroic character, becomes a villain to rival Parks. Keenan like Parks is an all too realistic character. A man so unwilling to challenge authority he orders a bloodbath. You can see Goodman is tortured by his decision to follow orders, but he follows them just the same.

In fact everyone who lives long enough gets corrupted in Red State. Even the ATF agent who first disagrees with Goodman becomes a cold blooded killer. Sheriff Wynan mistakenly shoots one of the hostages as they escape, but one wonders if it was really his intent to trigger a bloodbath.

Wynan, played by Stephen Root, is the county sheriff and a closet homosexual. Being gay in a film like this, Root could easily be a sympathic hero. Instead his fear of exposure makes him a weak man and eventually leads to the bloodbath in the film.

Red State is a film that breaks the usual rules of film. There are no real heroes, only villains and victims. The closest to a hero is the cultist Cheyenne, played by Kerry Bishé, who is willing to sacrifice anything to save the children at the compound. Smith keeps us in the dark as to the fate of the children so we never know if her death was meaningless or not.

Goodman does eventually act to stop the bloodbath. Sadly his moral awakening comes too late to do much good. Goodman appears as a broken man at the end of the film.

Red State is a film about fear. Fear and how it can drive us to be less than human. Goodman is afraid of losing his job so he does what he knows is horrible. The government is scared of “terrorists” so they order the incursion. The Sheriff is scared of being exposed so he lets himself be blackmailed by the church.

Even the church members are scared. Parks preaches fear of God into his flock, but they are also afraid that their way of life is changing. Afraid of the “homosexual menace”, fear of hell. Fear of disobeying the charismatic Abin Cooper.

Red State is all about fear and the dark alleys it leads us down. It is also a very real film. A Film that, God help us isn’t echoed in real life anytime soon.

Kevin Smith's Red State

As a post script, I would like to add I would love to see Kevin Smith one day film his original ending. I understand why he had to change it, but that would have been the perfect ending.

The Thing (2011) review

2011-10-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

I hate remakes. Really I do. Yet I keep going to see them. Not all of them but still I see a lot. So as much as John Carpenter’s The Thing is a classic. As much as it is one of the best horror films of the 80’s, and as much as I hated on the remake, where was I this weekend. Now there are a lot of ways to justify this. Carpenter’s 1982 classic was in itself a remake. The 2011 version of The Thing is technically not a remake but a prequel. The trailers looked good, the director tied it in directly to the original, etc., etc. Still I felt a little dirty sitting in the theater waiting for it to start.

Now story wise it is indeed a prequel, as it takes place in the Norwegian camp visited briefly in the original. Still a large part of the film is a shot for every other shot remake. SO prequel or remake, you make the call. After all as a wise man said “you can call a horse a monkey all day long, doesn’t mean it will be swinging from a tree the next time you see it.” I’m going to attempt to refer to it as a prequel but if I slip up and refer to The Thing as a remake, please forgive me. There will be spoilers so leave now if you want to avoid them.

I have heard both good and bad for The Thing, but most of my friends seem to like it so I was expecting at least a good movie. On that point The Thing (2011) did not disappoint.

The Thing opens in Antarctica on the Norwegian base as they discover what turns out to be an alien spaceship. Fans of the original The Thing know that this is the ship of the first films protagonist. Then we shift away from Antarctica to meet our story’s hero, Kate Llyod, played my Mary Elizabeth Winstead . Winstead is one of the highlights of The Thing. Just as tough and strong willed as McCready from the 81 version, but not as bitter or world weary. Lloyd accompanies a group of scientists back to help remove the alien from the ice.

On the base, as usually happens in good horror/sci-fi, greed overcomes good sense and the creature is freed. Violence, bloodshed, and body absorption occurs in rapid succession. Lloyd, like McCready in the 1982 The Thing, quickly realizes that not everyone on the base is who they seem. Attempts to test for the creature meet with sabotage, and people vanish. There is a flamethrower standoff, ala The Thing 1982 which culminates in a battle between the humans and the CGI Thing. Ultimately it ends up being a battle inside the alien spaceship, as Lloyd and Carter, played by Joel Edgerton, attempt to prevent The Thing from blasting off to warmer climes. This leads to a pre-credits ending that is probably the best part of the film. Then as the credits roll, we see a scene that directly ties in with the opening of the 1982 version of The Thing.

So on to the good and the bad. Let’s start with the opening, well not actually the opening but near the opening where we first meet Winstead’s character. It takes place off Antarctica. Right away we lose that feeling of claustrophobia that Carpenter cultivated throughout the original The Thing. In Carpenter’s The Thing, we never leave Antarctica and seldom leave the base. To the viewer the snow and wind are all that exist. The base is a claustrophobic sanctum against the elements. To go outside is to die of exposure, to stay inside is to die at the hands of The Thing. It’s a small thing but seeing the outside world, let me know it existed in the world of The Thing. I would have much preferred to have met Lloyd on the base. Have her fly in, see her torturous acclimation to the cold.

The cinematography of The Thing (2011) was absolutely beautiful. It would be a highlight of the film except the beauty once again takes away from that feeling of desperation in the first film. I think the director’s intention was to show “the call before the storm” and he did succeed in that but it detracts from the horror. Once again, there is beauty out there, there is hope. Try to find that same feeling of hope in Carpenter’s The Thing. It’s not there.

The CGI, the big bad wolf of modern horror, The Thing 2011 was pretty heavy with CGI, especially in the last half. It wasn’t horrible and there was probably no realistic way to show a walking talking Thing with practical effects. Blame the great practical effects that created the Thing’s corpse in the first film. Still the creature kind of looked silly and didn’t inspire and horror or terror while watching it. In the final confrontation inside the Thing’s spaceship, it looked more like a fairy tale troll than a murderous alien. The transformation scenes themselves were ok, but the camera just stayed on the monster way too long. It’s ok to show the monster but the longer you linger, the easier it is to see the zipper.

There were some silly little things that bother me in film, there always are. Scenes like Lars sudden disappearance, only to reappear unhurt at the end. Made for a great tie in with the first, but WTF? He just suddenly jumped to the side as if he had been grabbed, then hides through all the mayhem till the end. Also what is up with the Thing’s spaceship? It’s huge, as befits a huge ass alien critter, yet all of the hallways appear to be built to the scale of Kate Moss. Sure the creature can morph but it appears to favor big ass bodies so why not have a ship where he doesn’t have to bend over and squeeze through if he needs to chase someone. Then there was the scene where it waits for Winstead to step out into the hallway before attacking. Even though it knows where she is. And when it attacks it breaks through the wall of the ship instead of just grabbing her in the tunnel. I guess it was tired of forcing itself through those tiny tunnels. There is another scene that irked me but it is a pretty major spoiler so I won’t go into it. It sets up a situation that is probably the best scene in the movie, so while I don’t totally buy it, it is worth it for the payoff.

There are a few transformation scenes that seem almost duplicates from the first film. There is also the flamethrower standoff which is taken almost directly from the 1982 The Thing. You decide homage, or rip off. I groaned during the transformation, and at the beginning of the standoff, although the ending sort of redeemed it for me

I’m sure at this point a lot of you are saying “Jesus Christ dude, nitpick it to death” or wondering why I am not demanding my money back. Well it’s because I liked it. Yeah I said it, I liked it. It will never be the classic that Carpenter’s 1982 masterpiece will be but The Thing 2011 is a good movie. So why did I like it?

First off Mary Elizabeth WInstead, as Kate Lloyd was one of the most impressive and well written female characters in a recent horror film. Lloyd was smart, tough, and when it came down to it downright brutal. As beautiful as she was to look at, you never saw her behave as a typical female movie character. While she showed some sympathy toward the suspected alien inhabited American’s she was resolute in her decision to isolate them. She would quickly turn that flame thrower on anyone infected. To me she was every bit as strong a hero as McCready, but not as anti-social.

The final scene that ties in The Thing 2011 with the 1982 The Thing is Brilliant! So many films don’t even try to connect, or if they do they create ludicrous situations. This took the ending straight from the first, and added an intro. It worked to perfection.

The scenery and cinematography were beautiful as I mentioned above, but also took away from that feeling of being cut off, of desperation.

The best scene of the movie, for me, was the pre-credit ending. I’ll try not to completely spoil it, but it was wonderful. That last confrontation was so well acted and written that I wasn’t sure which way it was going to play out. I knew something was up, but I wasn’t sure how it would end. Then the final scene with Winstead, look at her face. It’s filled with desperation, fear, and possibly uncertainty. Is she wondering if she just made a huge mistake? She knows she is more than likely going to freeze to death. So many emotions were on her face, unlike in the typical horror film hero’s face, unlike the typical jubilant heroes of most film.

Edgerton’s role in the final scene was also well done and acted. Never once did he break and give us a clue as to his true nature. Was he human, or was he The Thing? Did we hear the Thing screaming or was that Carter? The director makes it just ambiguous to make me a bit uneasy. It was stated in The Thing 1982, that if someone were a perfect copy, would even they know they weren’t human? If that’s true do we really know who the Thing was at the end. If it was anyone at all, was it all paranoia? We will hopefully never know.

So yeah I liked The Thing 2011, the remake, err, prequel, whatever. It’s a good movie, not great, but it has some great scenes. It’s not perfect, but it has some damn near perfect scenes. The acting is strong throughout. There are some characters we grow attached to and then see die horribly. It’s not great, but (heresy!) it’s worth the cost of a ticket, and hell even popcorn, but sneak in your own cola.

Melissa:Two hot for Facebook, part 1

2011-10-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hey asshole! Stop reporting Facebook photos!

OMG, are you still staring at me?

Melissa :Too hot for Facebook-preview

2011-10-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Those are just a taste

More will come soon

Noel

2011-10-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

She might not be the first Noel, but she is the last Noel you will ever need. Check out the best Noel.

Straw Dogs (2011)

2011-09-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

Alexander Skarsgard all wet

Bare chested Alexander Skarsgard

It seems as much as I say I hate remakes, I still end up seeing them. True I usually avoid them at theaters but eventually I end up watching them. Even the God awful Day of the Dead remake I have sat through on cable. Even free it totally sucked ass. So with nothing else at the theater and me bored I went to see Straw Dogs.

Straw Dogs is a remake of a film by Sam Peckinpaw starring Dustin Hoffman and Susan George. I wasn’t expecting much, but was hoping to be surprised. While true The original was directed by one of my favorite directors of all time and starred one of the greatest living actors and the smoking hot Susan George. Still I was never a huge fan of Straw Dogs. I have only seen it once, and it just never took root like The Wild Bunch or Billy the Kid. SO I had no real emotional attachment to the original Straw Dogs to make me hate the remake off hand.

Still, it’s a remake and I just generally hate remakes on principle alone. There is never a real need for a remake. There are too many original projects that never get funded, never get made, never get released. Even if a remake turns out good, what original script never sees the light. Remakes are nothing but a cheap grab at profits off someone else’s work. Ok that’s a rant for another story. Back to Straw dogs.

So I went into Straw Dogs with no extra animosity. It was a remake but it wasn’t destroying the memory of a cherished film from my childhood (Hello Candyman remake). I was prepared to give it a shot.

On the positive side it starred red hot Alexander Skarsgard from True Blood. Now I’m not gay but if I were ever tempted it would be by Alexander. The rest of the first billed cast did little for me, and really Alexander was the main reason I ended up at the theater.

One big positive that was missed was Walton Groggins. It was great seeing him on the big screen. What wasn’t great was how little screen time he actually got. Blink once you’re ok, twice maybe, three time, see you missed him. Walton steals the small screen in what ever role he is in. Check him out on The Shield or Justified. Attention Hollywood it’s time he got either a lead role or a big ass role in a major film.

The big negative was that it was a remake. Sorry but with a remake there is always that feeling of “seen it before.” Porting the film from England to the deep south was a nice change and worked fairly well in and off itself, but it was just a really close remake. Even though I had only seen the original Straw Dogs once I pretty much knew what was up all the way through. Sorry but that is a negative when I bust out ten bucks a ticket for a film.

Being from the south I recognized a lot of the characters. While some were a bit stereotyped I never really felt insulted. I didn’t feel wronged because even though they were sometimes stretched, they were real. I grew up with those people.

I did feel the sub plot with the high school ingénue and the over muscled “slow” man came off as fake. Sorry I see what they were shooting at but never bought it. It came off as too much like Of Mice and Men. Once again I haven’t seen the original Straw Dogs in years so this could be almost exactly what happened in the original. Still it didn’t quite work for me.

James Marsden really stood out as the fish out of water Hollywood writer. I'm not a huge fan of Marsden but I really bought into his character and felt for him. Maybe he was a bit stereotypical liberal, but he did manage to offend my southern sensibilities, not with his actions, but with his attitude at times. His character for the most part felt he was better than the locals. At times he seemed to want to fit in, but mostly he seemed to just want to avoid the locals and their customs. Still he proved to be heroic and at the end WAS better than the locals. More on that later.

Kate Bosworth was just there. No offense to her but I found her character unlikable in the first Straw Dogs. I pretty much felt the same in the remake. Her character instigates many of the conflicts in Straw Dogs. I’m not taking the position that a woman should “cover up” to avoid unwanted male attention, but she did stir the sexual pot. At times she was actually provoking the tension. It’s not her fault it’s the way she was written and without her the story takes on a deeper, darker tone. I have always seen her character as just as much the villain as Skarsgard’s locals.

The magnet that draws and holds you to Straw Dogs is Alexander Skarsgard though. He exudes southern charm while channeling Eric Northman every time he scowls at the camera. Till near the end he almost comes off as a sympathetic character. In love with the woman he can never have. The woman who detests the life he leaves, and the life she left behind.

One big fault to me was how the lovable, mild Charlie at the beginning could become the violent killer at the end. Maybe there was always some psychosis behind his smile but I didn’t see it. The rape scene mid way through seemed more in character. We know he loves Amy. He is also deluded that Amy still has feelings for him. A delusion that Amy does nothing to disperse, and at times seems to encourage.

The final assault on the Sumner homestead, lead by a maniacal James Woods is violent and bloody. Pacifist David defends his wife, home and the slow Jeremy from the angry mob while Amy cowers in the room, urging him to capitulate every chance she gets. It does get bloody folks. One of the more violent segments in a non horror film. That last battle might not make Peckinpaw proud, but it wouldn’t embarrass him either. Much of the final fight is taken directly from the original Straw Dogs.

So what’s the verdict. Overall it’s not a bad film. Decent acting, decent story, lots of violence. I never had to stretch my disbelief to thin although I did feel it wanting to slip at times. It will never go down as a classic. More likely it will end up in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, but hey they are some decent flicks in there (Ernest Scared Straight FTW!). Still it’s worth a watch even at theater prices, especially if you have never seen the original.

True blue Peckinpaw fans might pan it but there have been much worse remakes made. Day of the Dead. There’s enough action and violence to keep you entertained and the ending is explosive. SO for a remake I will give Straw Dogs a passing score. Not an A+ but a solid B. So if you are bored, or if you are an Alexander Skarsgard (or Eric Northman) fan check it out. Then go and rent or buy everything with Walton Goggins in it and see a real under appreciated actor.

Peace

Links you might like hombre!

Nearly Naked Alexander Skarsgard

Eliza Jayne, hottest up and coming model on the net

Five Songs That Drop the F-Bomb in Their Title

2011-08-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

The almighty F-Bomb, the big bad wolf of curse words. Using it makes little old ladies gasp and kids giggle. It can get a movie an R rating as quickly as the full Monty. It’s use is pretty much forbidden on radio and television. Tipper Gore will slap a label on your CD if you use it.

So with all this you won’t find the F-Bomb in many songs right? Well outside of hard core rap it is kind of rare but it does exist. Some songs are so brazen that they actually put it in the title. Oh my!!

So without further ado, here is a list to make your granny blush and your girlfriend giggle. Songs that drop the F-bomb in their title

1. This Fucking Job- Drive by Truckers.

It’s rough out there now and this song and video say what a lot of us are feeling. Make sure you watch both versions for a different ending and you can decide which is the most bleak.

2. Fuck Her Gently.

Jack Black and Kyle Gas as Tenacious D provide this comedic look at love and the art of F**king gently.

3. Fuck Dying- A collaboration between hard rockers KORN and rapper Ice Cube results in one of the most bad ass songs of all times.

4. Fucking Perfect- Pink’s anthem to self worth is a beautiful song, with a great message. Beyond the profanity it is a statement of being yourself and ignoring the pressure to be “perfect”

Fuck You- Cee Lo Green

Probably the most popular song with the F-bomb in the title, the radio edit substitutes the word forget, for the more offensive F word. Funny thing is the song actually sounds and flows better in the edited version. That’s my opinion any way and well if you don’t agree, see the unedited version for instructions.

　

And special mention goes to comedian Jon Lajoie for his newest song Fuck Everything.

That about says it all now Fuck off

　

　

The latest Angela pictures

2011-08-02T13:37:00.000-07:00

Because certian people had problems with the "pornogrpahic" pictures I posted of a girl in a swimsuit (In a beach community) I have taken them down. Not because there is anythign wrong with them, but because I can. Because the pictures are copywrited to me. I won't call any names but I know who you are. The problem with people who talk behind other people's back is that they sometimes talk to people who talk to me. So talk all you wont but you wont see the pictures here. You also shouldn't bother trying to talk to me if you are going to talk about my friends. Do any of you have the balls to stand up and say you found the pictures offensive? Not likely. Whatever I honestly don't give a shit. The only reason that you knew the pictures were up is because a young lady was very proud of the works she had done. Is that why you were so bitter just because you don't like her, or vecause you have never done anything to be proud of? The people who liked the pictures feel free to leave support.

Angela post processed

2011-07-31T20:26:00.000-07:00

Here are some post processed pictures of my last shoot with Angela. I hate post processing BTW

pictures removed by request

Angela Shoot 2

2011-07-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Shoot from today with the lovely Angela

Pictures removed for now by request

Angela, again

2011-07-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

Just a few more from my first photoshoot with the lovely Angela. Another shoot scheduled for next week, but here are some spost processed ( very lightly cropped and exposure adjusted )

Pictures removed by request

Angela

2011-07-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

Because certian nosy people want to complain constantly behind peoples backs all of the pictures of Angela have been removed. I can do that. However the people who complain are still just as miserable as they were before, still just as nosey and still gossiping, mean spirited people

Meet my good friend Angela, who was awesome enough to trust me with taking her picture. She is a really cool chick and good friend and doesn't look to bad rocking the bikini

And she rocks out the STC braclets. She's a horror chick at heart

pictures removed by request

There's Something About Eliza Jayne

2011-06-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

There’s just something about Eliza Jayne.

Multitalented and multitasking, Eliza is an actress, model and professional photographer. She’s also a great friend and stone cold beauty. This is her first appearance on my blog, but hopefully it wont be her last.

You can catch her on Paranormal TV’s Haunt U, and Karlos Borloff's Monster Madhouse, as well as representing Twisted Tea and Buffalo Trace Bourbon and many other products. She will also be featured in the 2012 Scares That Cares calendar and is in the running for Ms. Scares That Care. Any horror fan who doesn’t know about Scares That Care, should definitely check it out..

For more on Eliza, check out

For more on Eliza Jayne check out

http://www.facebook.com/#!/ModelElizaJayne

http://www.facebook.com/#!/ElizaJaynePhotography

http://www.elizajayne.net/

For now though, check out the beauty that is

Eliza Jayne

Sexy and hot Eliza Jayne

Sexy Eliza Jayne

Upcoming

2011-06-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

So I actually do have some stuff coming up that I hope everyone will find interesting. Some of them are my fault in being delayed, because it's a new thing for me and trying to figure out exactly how to do it and do it well. Plus I am lazy and get distracted easily and I do have shit going on in my personal life that keeps me confounded and occupied.

Some other stuff just haven't coordinated yet due to conflicting work schedules. Still stuff is to come and hope you will enjoy it

John Waters at Horrorfind Weekend!

2011-06-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

ok this news blew me away. I'll leave the details up to the pros
see the link below

http://forum.horrorfind.com/cgi-bin/boards/YaBB.pl?num=1307661437/0#0

He joins Julian Sands, Alex Winter, Ken Foree, Jill Schoelen, Derek Mears and others. See the site for full details I will update the adds here as well when I have more time

BFC bans The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)-Protecting the public or oppressing them?

2011-06-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Director Tom Six seemed a bit disappointed in people’s reaction to The Human Centipede. The horror community was divided on it (as they are on most films), but it quickly gained a loyal following. However most hard core fans agree it was far from the most disturbing film of all time. In fact it was far from it. It didn’t help that A Serbian Film had the horror, and general film fans aghast at it’s depravity. Also talk of The Woman, and the Sundance incident lead many to consider it somewhat tame.

The Human Centipede was successful enough to warrant a sequel though and director Six promised this would be far and away more disturbing. A film to make the original look like My Little Pony, he claimed. Now advance world from Britain leads us to think he could have succeeded.

The project has been closely guarded. Rumors have ran rampant about the cast with all three of the “victims” from the first film rumored to be part of The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence). It has finally been confirmed by Ashlynn Yennie, that she will reprise her role in the sequel. Akihiro Kitamura just confirmed yesterday (6/7/2011) that he will NOT be in the sequel. So far I have not heard confirmation that Ashley C. Williams will or will not be a part of the project.

What little we know of the film is due to spoilers from the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC). Why did the BBFC release spoilers? Because they were justifying their banning of the film. Unlike the BBFC I will not release any spoilers other than those casting choices, which have both been confirmed by the celebrities. The spoilers are all over the web if you want to read them and they are graphic.

In all honesty, I’m not sure at this point if I will see the film. Some of it’s themes are ones I usually avoid. Still that’s not the point. I am an adult and I deserve the right to make that decision. It is film, not real life. If it does not break laws then there is no excuse for banning film. And by laws I mean laws that are in place for the protection of the innocent such as child abuse or child labor, actual scenes of murder or rape.

Too many times government uses censorship to protect itself, to push it’s agenda. Do a search of banned films and you might be shocked at what is banned around the world, even in “free” countries. It’s true Britain is not one of the worst offenders, and also true that The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) will be a disturbing, disgusting film, but this sets a bad precedent.

It also is a set back from freedom of expression. Let the film be seen, let people discuss it, argue about it and protest over it. Who knows some good may come from this film in the discussion. Adults deserve and should the demand to make their own decisions without the government babysitting us. Ban this film, no matter how disturbing and you make it easier to ban the next. Demand your rights, demand that the BBFC drop the ban

Alamo Draft House is serious about phone use during movies

2011-06-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

Finally a theater with real balls. Don't text in the Alamo Drafthouse! They are serious about their no talk and no text policy. So serious that they take the whiny, vulgar voice mail left my an irate customer who was kicked out and turn it into a anit texting PSA. Man I would love to have one nearby, lets all show them support. Below is the PSA compete with profanity and stupidity

Alabama Mayor refuses to allow housing for tornado victims

2011-06-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Codova, Alabama Mayor Jack Scott officially in the running for villain of the year.

This has been a bad year for storms. We can hope that a storm soon blows Cordova mayor Jack Scott out of office. Tornados have raged across America this year, and in the true American spirit, people across the land have supported those affected. Except Jack Scott, who apparently is more concerned with keeping up land values and forcing out “undesirables”

Alabama was one of the states hard hit, and thousands were left homeless. FEMA stepped in to provide housing, while volunteers across America raised food and needed supplies. While FEMA trailers might not be the most elegant housing, to a family without a roof they are a welcome sight. Except to Mayor Jack Scott.

Apparently there is a law on the books banning single wide trailers in the city of Cordova. A law that has not been enforced now. What makes it even more abominable is that the Mayor Dishonorable Jack Scott has allowed trailers for the City Hall and Police Department. He has to be able to work in the dry after all.

In a statement to the Birmingham news he the “mayor” said “We're trying to better Cordova. We're trying to clean up Cordova and keep it clean. We're trying to keep property values up. We're trying to get it to where people will want to build homes on these vacant lots.” That statement makes it pretty clear he is trying to force out those he finds undesirable for a better class of resident.

Meanwhile Cordova residents are forced to either leave town, stay in a hotel, or simply face the elements unprotected. Makes you wonder while Jack Scott is staying. Hopefully the negative press will force him to reconsider and hopefully resign. Perhaps he hopes if he can force out all the lower income families he wont have to face his inhuman, greedy decisions at the next election..

The not so honorable Mayor in front of trailer he allowed for city hall, but not for homeless

Come on Jack Scott, out the well being of your citizens above your dislike of the poor and minorities. Either that or stand up proudly and accept your nomination of shitbag of the year.

A brief interlude

2011-06-01T13:56:00.001-07:00

There are times when I feel like a total dog. Yeah, me everyone’s favorite clown. The nice guy, the guy with a heart. People seem to hurt each other so easily. They throw away hearts left and right. Guys who have the greatest gift in the world, the love of a special person and they throw it away. A person other people would kill be with. And I’m the one who feels like a dog. I’m the one who will end up broken. Again

Happy Memorial Day

2011-05-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

Salute to all those who serve, have served, and will serve. May we never forget and always be in awe of their service.

Priest and hunter

2011-05-29T15:24:00.001-07:00

Just got back from seeing Priest and really enjoyed it. Hopefully will write a review tonight and have it up in a day or so.

Also picked up Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. The movie is filming next door in New Orleans and kind of looking forward to it

Scares That Care calendar presale

2011-05-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

The Male and female calendars for Scares That Care are now up for presale. There are some lovely ladies up for view and some hot males too (or so I've been told, I like te ladies).

All of the money goes for a great cause. Support the kids, support STC

http://store.scaresthatcare.org/

Hobo With a Shotgun

2011-05-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

Hobo With a Shotgun

All the advance word on Hobo With a Shotgun likened it to Grindhouse cinema. Being a fan of the grind I was eager to check it out. I got the chance to meet with Hobo director Jason Eisner at Texas Frightmare Weekend. Coming home I was even more determined to see the film. Luckily the film was out on VoD and I finally got the time to sit back and watch it.

Rutger plays the titular anti- hero. It is a bit of a different role than I have ever seen him in before. He plays a world weary hero, who sees too much and realizes he can’t just turn away anymore.

The film starts off slow. Almost too slow. Don’t get me wrong there is loads of violence all garishly shown in full detail. The violence is mostly cartoonish, over the top and brightly colored. Still the film just never seemed to get me going. That changed once the Hobo finds the shotgun.

With gun in hand the random gore turns into a symphony of brutality and Hauer conducts it with aplomb. Bad guys are blown away in rapid succession including a pedophile Santa. Rutger delivers one liners that would make Clint Eastwood blush. In many scenes he seems to be channeling Dirty Harry.

The violence is so over the top it isn’t hard to watch. People overly sensitive, especially to violence toward children may have a problem with it. It’s no Hostel, no A Serbian Film, and in reality it’s not even a Grindhouse film. Hobo With a Shotgun is more akin to the video nasties of the VHS age in the 80s. Think Troma, especially The Toxic Avenger, and some of the gorier Full Moon efforts.

It isn’t a happy film. It’s not a feel good film. It is a movie to watch a good guy who’s had enough slaughter cartoonish bad guys. It is a fun movie, but a fun movie for people who enjoy comedic, over the top gore. I liked it. Does that tell you anything?

Friday the 13th, help sick kids with a donation

2011-05-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

The charity organization Scares That Care is holding a special 5 dollar donation day next Friday the 13. One day to bring as many horror fans together for a five dollar, one time donation to Scares That Care. All the money raised this year goes to the Make A Wish Foundation. Follow the link below to pledge five dollars on Fridat the 13th. Friday the 13th has long been known as unlucky for some. Together we can make it a bit luckier for some sick kids

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/event.php?eid=179234748789147

Frazer Lee: Panic Button takes flight (to Cannes!)

2011-05-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

Reposting from my bud Frazer's blog, follow the links

Frazer Lee: Panic Button takes flight (to Cannes!): "A freaking flurry of ' Panic Button ' related press coverage has hit the web with several movie sites and blogs sharing the first trailer fo..."

Don't forget the storm victims

2011-05-02T13:06:00.001-07:00

A day after celebrating the death of our collective boogeyman, let's not forget what the newspapers and national news have forgotten. Hundreds dead and hundreds homeless across the south. They need your thoghts and they need your help

Osama Bin Laden is dead

2011-05-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

Hell yeah! Right now all I can say is it is well past time. The fact that he was living in a mansion near the capital of an ally is just wrong, but he is dead. The boogey man who haunted our collective nightmare is vanquished.

America! Fuck yeah!

Zombie Golf!

2011-04-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

Nothing goes better with golf than zombies. Well at least not for golfing horror fans. While I'm not a gofer myself I can recognize a unique opportunity for the golf enthusiast. Now what could be better than a zombie golf fest? Or would that be a golfing zombie fest? Whichever you prefer, what makes it even better is that all the proceeds go to charity.

Scares That Care is a charity that raises money to support various charities for sick kids. It was founded by Independent filmmaker Joe Ripple as a way to bring horror fans, and those involved in the horror business together for a common cause. The common cause to support sick kid and their families. Hopefully one day we can make childhood illness just a horror story on the big screen. Just a myth. Until that day I urge you to support Scares That Care and if you love golf and you love zombies, or even if you just want to putter around, check out the Scares That Care Zombie Golf Tournament

Helldriver trailer

2011-04-23T13:54:00.001-07:00

New from Sushi Typhoon and director Yoshihiro Nishamura, the writer and director of Tokyo Gore police comes Helldriver! Nishamura promises it will be gorier than TGP. It stars Eihi SHiina of TGP and Takashi Miike's Audition. Check out the trailer.

Jesus was a zombie

2011-04-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Not trying to offend any sensitive folk. Just enjoy for the season

One Week Away

2011-04-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

From Texas Frightmare Weekend. Awesome lineup including Deiter Laser onbe of the stars of The Human Centipede. This is a rare American apeparance for Deiter and I cna't wait to meet him. Along with him is the director of The Human Centipde, Tom Sixx. The vicitms from The Human Centipede have proven popular guests at US conventions. I met the three victims last year at one of their first ever appearances. Getting a chance to add the mad doctor and Sixx to my Human Centipede poster is a rare oppurtunity I cna't pass up.

Their are many other great guests at Texas Frightmare besides the Human Centipede guests. From the Saw series Cary Elwes makes his first American horror convention apeparance, along with Costas Mandylor, and Shawnee Smith.

From Japan come Eihia Shiina and Yoshihiro Nishamura for a rare stateside apappearance. Also on the bill are horror author/director Clive Barker, as well as Doug Bradley and Ashley Laurence from Barker's Hellraiser. Dorector Don COscarelli and Angus Scrimm from his film Phantasm. Three of the stars of The Boondock Saints, and many, many more.

Horror fans should definitely come out for this rare chance to met stars of The Human Centipede

Scream 4 hottie Alison Brie

2011-04-20T22:49:00.000-07:00

Alison Brie

Whether you call it Scream 4 or Scre4m, whether you consider it the best entry since the original or just another failure from series creator Wes Craven, we can all agree it featured some hotties. Veteran Scream hottie Courtney Cox and Neve Campbell return and are joined by Marly Shelton and the young hottie Hayden Paniettiere. It also stars stone cold hottie Alison Brie. Alison Brie is best be known for her role in Madmen the hit AMC series. However she has some horror cred after starring in Born, with a horror icon, Kane Hodder. I first noticed Alison Brie in Hot Sluts, a series of comedy shorts. Mostly I noticed her beautiful cleavage. Enjoy some pics of hottie Alison Brie and her Scre4ming hot cleavage below.

Hot Alison Brie, tight T-shirt

Alison Brie in a bikini

Alison Brie sexy

Insidious

2011-04-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

Insidious is the new film from director James Wan who is most famous as a co creator of the Saw franchise. Insidious is being billed as the scariest film since Poltergeist. I’m not willing to go so far as agree with that statement but Insidious is an effective horror movie.

Insidious starts of with a typical family, Rose Byrne and Patrick Wilson star as the parents of two young boys. After an injury, the oldest child slips into a coma. Doctors can find no medical reason for the coma, and he fails to respond to any treatment.

Meanwhile strange occurrences start to happen in the family home. Noises and strange shadows evolve into a full out haunting. As the stress mounts from the haunting and the coma, the family decide to move to escape the specters.

Unfortunately the occurrences follow them and continue to grow in strength. The family consults a medium, played by Lyn Shaye, who informs them it isn’t the house but their child that is haunted. The situation quickly grow violent as the spirits resist being banished. This leaves the father to take drastic steps to save his son and his family.

The first half of Insidious really works. The scares are all genuine and I jumped several times. J Larose, from Saw III was especially frightening as one of the spirits haunting the family. I would have never considered Tiptoe Through the Tulips especially scary, but wan finds a way to make it work when mixing it with a child ghost.

The most horrifying revenant however is the “demon.” Early on he is only vaguely seen and this adds to the sense of dread. In fact one of the only miscues, in my opinion, was bringing the creature fully into the light. Half seen he is truly terrifying. Fully seen, all I could think of was he looked like a cross between Freddy Krueger and The Creeper on his way to Burning Man.

Luckily most of the end game scares come form the most sinister ghost of all the “old lady.” if your blood hasn’t already turned cold in Insidious it will when she makes her appearance. Each appearance.

The film does veer heavily into the realm of Poltergeist. Wilson must venture into the astral plane to try and rescue his son. I wasn’t too crazy about this idea at first as it seems to close to Poltergeist. While there were a few creepy moments, like the frozen family, this is the weakest part of the film.

A lot of that is due to the demon making a full appearance. While the viewers might have felt cheated to never see him full on, I think he would have been much more effective staying in the shadows. The end is saved by the old lady, and a twist that even though I knew was coming, was pulled off exceptionally. Any other ending would have felt wrong.

Insidious is the best full on, supernatural horror film I have seen in a while. There is just enough humor to give you a small rest from the scares. Most of the laughs come from the “ghost hunters.” Wan is able to draw the viewer in, so that the laughs never seem forced. You feel like the family on screen is laughing too, and when you faceplam, you have to believe that Wilson and Byrne were too.

The requisite séance is handled in an surreal, way with the addition of the gas mask for the medium. It looks silly at first, but it works, adding a dynamic that normally isn’t there. Once again I felt like I was in the same boat as the family. We struggle to hear whats going on just as they do.

The film is also helped by the always wonderful Barbara Hershey. Fresh off a killer performance in Black Swan, she plays Wilsons mother in the film. I like the fact that she was supportive of Byrne, against the grain of most haunt films where the mother in law is an adversary. She acts as a comforter and a device to drive the film forward by introducing Shaye’s character.

All of the characterizations seem more than the usual cookie cutter horror stereotypes. Wilson is a supportive husband, going so far as to pick up and move homes for his wife. There are tensions within the family, as could be expected when a child is comatose, but they are played out realistically. Kudos all around to the acting, and the writing of the characters.

One last note, Insidious has one of the most effective and scary title screens I can remember. The mixture of sudden sound and the flashing title will illicit a jump if you aren’t expecting it.

Insidious is still in theaters so run out and see it, before it sees you

Frankenstein's Army trailer

2011-04-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

Th3 Dev1c3

2011-04-18T16:51:00.000-07:00

Check out this short film from my friend Armando of Redcrow Design

Shadow

2011-04-18T06:04:00.000-07:00

Italy has a rich history in horror film and one of the newest releases from Italy is 2009s Shadow. Many fans have hailed it as a return to the glory days of Italian horror. While it doesn’t quite reach that level it is a decent little horror film from a new director.

Shadow tells the story of a wounded Iraqi vet finishing up his tour of duty. To escape the memory of his time in Iraq he decides to bicycle across Europe and visit a spot known as the Shadow.

Stopping at a local pub he meets a young woman played by Frontiers Karina Testa, and quickly falls for her. Defending her against unwanted advances he quickly makes an enemy of two locals. Fleeing the bar the two run into the locals again and a desperate fight and flight ensues.

Escaping the two run deeper into the dark forest followed by the local hunters. There all four fall victim to the mysterious character known as Mortis. Mortis brings his victims into his lair where he tortures them one by one. While not as graphic as many torture horror films the scenes are very cringe worthy and chilling.

Probably the best thing about Shadow is Mortis himself. The worst thing is that the character doesn’t get enough time. Due to the ending of the film I think it’s unlikely we will see a sequel. Hopefully Nuot Aquint, who plays Mortis will get more roles as he was absolutely chilling in Shadow.

The ending was unexpected, at least to me as I never saw it coming. Maybe I am too willing to tale things at face value, but I am almost always looking for the “twist” in a horror film. I think the ending was fairly believable and the very last scene definitely shook me a bit. Looking back I can see that there were clues all along that something was amiss. I can understand that people might have a problem with the ending but to me it was the perfect ending foe the film.

The film does have a anti war theme running through it. Some may also see an anti American sentiment. The overly sensitive may be offended, but I didn’t think it was as blatantly anti American as The Hill Have Eyes remake.

Shadow is a film that is worth a look. It might not be a return to the glory days of Italian horror but it is a step in the right direction.

Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl

2011-04-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

Caught this last night on Netflix. Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl is not a movie for everyone. However for fans of the Japanese over the top gore fest/body mod films like Tokyo Gore Police and Machine Girl it's a ncie little treat, but not very substantial.

The story is confusing, illogical and really just isn't important anyway other than as a loose framework for gallons of cherry Kool-Aid blood and goofy gore. Monami is a vampire, who falls for a mortal. No Twilight emo, or Let the Right One In sweetness here though. Monami slips the studly Mizushima a chocolate treat with a special filling, her blood, which turns him into a half vampire.

Unfortunately, Mizushima is the reluctant boyfriend of Keiko. Keiko is the vice principals daughter and somewhat of a bully. Keiko's father moonlights as a Kabuki dressing mad scientist. Guess what he is working on? Hint, his hero is Dr. Frankenstein. He acquires spare parts with the help of his sexy but psychotic school nurse/assisstant/serial killer.

When Keiko discovers Monami's secret, Vampire girl tosses her from the school roof. Keiko's father is overjoyed to be able to experiment on his daughter. He acquires the best parts from the school and rebuilds her as Frankenstein girl. Which leads to the inevitable showdown.

Fans of Tokyo Gore Police will be mildly disappointed as this is a tamer film in comparison. It is a bit lighter for the most part than Tokyo Gore Police or Machine Girl and a bit funnier. The girls, especially Vampire Girl and the School nurse are very easy to look at which helps. Mizushima is pretty much just window dressing for the girls and could have as easily been replaced by a card board cut-out or possibly Marky Mark.

Summary, gory but not as gory as other films in it's genre, acting pretty much non existant. Emotions on the face rarely match up with what is going on in the film other than the typcial stern look or manical laugh. The girls are hot, but there is little skin shown beyond legs and some light cleavage. One funny line was when the vice principal chastises the nurse by saying "You're being too erotic"

The vice principal is one of the best treats of Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl. He is just so ridiculous in his full Kabuki regalia that it's impossible not to laugh at him. Effects are what you would expect if you have seen Tokyo Gore or Machine Girl. If you haven't seen then think cheap and cheesy.

Don't look for high art, just have a good time
Also features Eihi Shiina from Audition and Tokyo Gore Police in a small role

An open letter to Bradley Cooper: Say no to the Crow remake

2011-04-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

http://cinemaroll.com/cinemarolling/an-open-letter-to-bradley-cooper-say-no-to-the-crow-remake/

You had to be expecting a Crow remake. Hollywood has no interest in producing original work anymore. No tinsel town is content to churn out cheap remakes for the sure profit. Nothing is sacred anymore. We have already seen Nightmare on Elm Street and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre redone in sub par fashion and even as I type the Arthur remake is showing in theaters. there is no reluctance to dig up childhood treasures and spit all over them for the almighty dollar. No remakes are sadly here to stay for the foreseeable future.

So I’m not really shocked that a Crow remake is being fast tracked. The original was a great film, dark, stylish and with a leading man who was bound for big screen superstardom. Tragically Brandon Lee didn’t live to finish The Crow. His death during filming shocked his fans as well as fans of J.O. Barr’s comic book antihero. As much as The Crow is a great film in itself it is impossible to separate from Brandon’s death. The Crow, Eric Draven and Brandon are forever linked by the sad circumstances of the film. It is utter folly for anyone else to take on the role of Eric Draven, the role was, is and ever will be Brandon’s.

No I wasn’t shocked about the remake, but I was shocked to hear that Bradley Cooper was seriously considering the role. I like Bradley, I really do. He is a great actor and can take on dark roles. I loved him in Tell Tale, and he seems a genuinely nice guy. But I can’t like him if he tries to replace Brandon.

I know other actors have taken the role of the crow and even of Eric in sequels. I didn’t like it, but mostly these were people I didn’t know, young actors who needed a big role. Plus they were not doing the original story. You don’t need this role Bradley. It wont catapult you to the next level, it will just alienate fans of Brandon Lee and The Crow. It will hurt your career more than help it. There is very little chance it will be done properly. Most remakes now are horrendous, especially when they are “fast tracked” as I understand is happening with The Crow.

The Crow is a very important film to me and a lot of other people. You see I’m old enough to remember Brandon’s father. When I was a kid Bruce Lee was the man. He was who you compared everyone else too. He was the Sylvester Stallone, the Arnold of his generation only bigger. He died way too soon. He died before I ever actually seen any of his films, but I still knew who he was. When Rapid Fire was released in 1992 it was like the second coming.

Brandon had the moves, he had the charisma, he was going to be our generations Bruce Lee. When he signed to do The Crow comic geeks everywhere went crazy. Then the unthinkable happened. It seemed like a bad joke. A stunt went wrong and Brandon died on the set from a gunshot wound. You all know the story. They finished the film with doubles and shooting around Brandon. The Crow was our good bye from Brandon Lee. An epitaph to life that ended way too soon. That film belongs to Brandon and his fans, not to a studio that only sees an easy profit. Not to a director who promise to respect it, but in truth doesn’t care.

This movie does not need to be made, and you don’t need to star in it Bradley. It’s probably a lost cause to try and fight the inevitable. The Crow will be remade, I am sure of that. But you don’t have to be a part of it. Don’t legitimize this travesty by adding your star power to it. Don’t draw your fans, those who go to every Bradley Cooper movie in to see this.

You may be a fan of The Crow. I hope you are. I can understand that feeling, to want to be a part of something you love and respect. However you can’t be a part of The Crow, not the real Crow. I might be a fan of the Mona Lisa but I could never be a part of creating it, no matter how talented I am. That like The Crow is a part of history. No one in their mind would even think of repainting the Mona Lisa but with cinema art, everyone wants to redo, to improve on it. It can’t be done. Not with a classic, not with a film that is as special as The Crow.

Please if you are a fan, step away. Say you will have no part of it. Let the project die, or be relegated to the discount bin, where it can be forgotten. Don’t trample on our memories. If you aren’t a fan of The Crow, then I beg you accept that this is a special film. You will only lose fans by doing this. I’m trusting you will do the right thing. Just say no to the crow remake.

If you really don't want Bradley Cooper to star in the Crow remake, let him no. Go to his Facebook page and state your opinion, also to any fan pages for Bradley, Brandon and The Crow.

Bradley Coopers Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Bradley-Cooper/75308920437

Texas Frightmare Weekend

2011-04-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well my flight is now booked for Texas Frightmare Weekend in Dallas at the end of the month. This will be my first time attending the convention and it should be a blast. It’s a really cool lineup featuring Robert Englund, Clive Barker and many others. Probably one of the most exciting adds for me is Eihi Shina from Audition and Tokyo Gore Police. This will be a first ever American convention appearance from the Japanese actress. To add even more importance, as I understand all of the proceeds from the two Japanese guests will go toward the relief work in their homeland. I’m flying in Friday morning and out Saturday night so it will be a hectic weekend. Still I am eagerly looking forward to it and urge anyone in the area to check it out. Full details at the link below.
http://www.texasfrightmareweekend.com/start.html

Good movie weekend

2011-04-03T06:27:00.001-07:00

Had a decently good movie watching weekend. Saw Insidious, and caught up on some old Hammer films like The Vampire Lovers and Twins of Evil. Couple of bad films too. WIll try and give a review or three this week, but wont have a real update till tomorrow most likely
cheers

Miley Cyrus to star in "Innsmouth" based on Lovecraft

2011-04-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

Yes that's right Universal after cancelling the big budget "Mountains of Madness" by Del Torro, has just greenlighted "Innsmouth." Insmouth is based on the classic "Shaddow out of Innsmouth" by H.P. Lovecraft. The adaptation was written and will be directed by Terminator director McG and Miley Cyrus was his top pick for the heroine of the piece. "No matter what you say about Miley, everyone is talking about her. She guarentees a big opening." Lovecraft has been notoriously hard to adapt to the big screen and one wonders how hardcore fans will react to this news. Oh yes Elvis is still alive and having an affair with Rick James. It's April Fools Day!!! I bet I got some of you.
Happy April Fool's Day

Trick R Treat 2?

2011-03-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

No offical word that I have heard but the Trick R Treat Facebook posted a no so cryptic message " Sam will return." Trick R Treat was a smash with horror fans when it was finally released. There are oh so few good Halloween themed movies, and even fewer good anthologies of late that fans are eagerly waiting for the return of our favorite pumpkin faced horror icon. So if anyone in Hollywood is reading this "listens for crickets", BRING US TRICK R TREAT 2. It's only April Fools day on the East Coast so no fair if its a trick (R Treat)

Fingers crossed!

Gacy House

2011-03-30T21:07:00.000-07:00

So what happens when you cross The Blair With with Paranormal Activity? You get Gacy House. Well what you really get is a feeling you wasted the price of a rental. I rekaize it's a low budget but, even for low budget it's hard to forgive Gacy House. It commits that cardinal sin for a horror movie. It's boring. Boring is not good for horror. Thowing in elements of so many different films doesn't alleviate the hum drum. Gacy house borrows liberally from Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity, The Legend of Hell House, Ghost Hunters, Poltergeist and who cares how many others. The "logic" is all over the place. I can possibly accept that the ghsot of John Wayne Gacy, is haunting his house, maybe even that he haunts a house built on the same spot where his house used to be. Still I think asking the ghost if he killed in a specific room., that didn't even exist when he was around is kind of stupid. Ok gacy House was kind of stupid, and very boring

Horror Hunk: Alexander Skarsgard

2011-03-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

As a thank you to those female and gay friends who actually follow my blog and read the articles, I am starting a new feature. The Horror Hunks. What better way to start but with a true hunk, and one I know my friends like, Mr. Alexander Skarsgard. Here's just a small collection, I will try to dig up more later

Alexander Skarsgard

Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman

Party with Alexander Skarsgard

Sexy Soapy Alexander Skarsgard

Alexander Skarsgard in the shower

See Alexander Skarsgard in Straw Dogs

A Serbian Film (Srpski film)

2011-03-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

A Serbian Film (Srpski film)

Where do I begin with A Serbian Film. Usually I have a review pretty well mapped out in my head before hand, but with A Serbian Film, I’m pretty much winging it. I like to say if you haven’t heard of A Serbian Film, then you haven’t been listening. It is hands down the most controversial film in recent memory. It is also rapidly becoming one of the most notorious films of all time. All over the internet “which is worse” comparisons are cropping up with other notorious films,

A Serbian Film is a hot button film, bound to stir debate and tempers. Just taking a side on the controversy surrounding it is bound to garner hate mail. Actually saying you like it will get you labeled a deviant and garner you strange looks. I have been leery to even tell friends what it is about for fear of strange looks because I even know about a film like A Serbian Film.

I have wanted to see A Serbian Film since I first saw the trailer. At the same time I have feared seeing it and even hated that part of me that wanted to see it. All my instincts told me A Serbian Film is a dangerous film. Still I felt remiss as a movie fan and reviewer to not watch it. I also felt like a coward. So last night I bit the bullet, found a safe place inside my brain to retreat to if need be, and watched A Serbian Film.

Usually I don’t like giving spoilers. However in the case of this film I think not giving at least some spoilers is very negligent. It also makes it near impossible to give an honest review. Even though I will always wonder exactly the effect this film would have had on me if I had gone in blind, there are people who deserve a warning. The subject matter is that extreme. A Serbian Film contains, but is not necessarily limited to, rape, murder, gratuitous nudity, incest, necrophilia, pedophilia, torture, infanticide, and suicide. Almost all of the violence is sexually related. This is no Hostel, it is much more brutal. However it is not just torture porn.

Much of the discussion of A Serbian Film resolves around whether it has the right to exist as film. There is so much controversy over the legality that you get a debate about whether or not it is a good film. Honestly right now I don’t feel comfortable saying I like A Serbian Film. However it is a film with a story. It is not shock exclusively for shock value. I have heard many arguments about the meaning of A Serbian Film. Social comment on the genocide during the break up of Yugoslavia, slap in the face to Serbian film censors. At one point the “director” of the film inside A Serbian Film states that pornography is the only hope of the Serbian people. This was the clearest message I got from A Serbian Film. That the Serbians are a people who have been brainwashed and turned in to savages. All the while being taught that their neighbors are less than human and fit for slaughter.

The protagonist Milos only has one escape from his struggle though pornography. To debase and abuse those who are less than him. Vukmir, the director, tells him the women are drug abusers and whores. Are these echoes of what the Serbian people were told? The most infamous scene seems to be stating that everyone is born a victim. The final scene suggests that we cannot escape, even in death. This was at least what I took from the film. Maybe if I was more familiar with the war and genocide I would have gained more from the film. I would love to know what the reaction of the Serbian people would be to the film. All I can go with is what I saw and the few comments I have read from the director. This is, in my opinion the main failing of A Serbian Film.

I am accustomed to looking deep into a film for meaning. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. In A Serbian Film, the director takes it and throws it right in the viewers face. Forcing us to take in all the ugly, all the hate and all the desperation, not allowing us to look away. However in doing so he blinds us, all we can see is the brutality. All we see are the images that are burned into our minds. Even with forewarning it was hard to watch the scenes. Not just the most infamous scene, or the other scene which was also horrible, but the whole movie. So many disturbing scenes don’t get mentioned due to the extreme notoriety of THAT scene.

For those who don’t know here is a quick synopsis. Milos is a retired porn star who is struggling to support his family. He is approached to star in a artistic pornographic film that will enable his family to live comfortably. There is no script but the camera will follow him as he has sex in various situations. Situations that grow more violent and deviant with each act. It spirals quickly out of control as Milos realizes he is helpless to escape. Actually before Milos realizes it is out of control, it is already strategically too late for him and his family. When he tries to escape he is drugged. He wakes up bloody with only faint and confusing flashes of what has happened. Retracing his steps, and discovering footage of the missing day, we discover with him just how tragic
.

I wont spoil the ending for those brave enough to watch it. However for those who still might be on the fence, I am about to release spoilers. Spoilers that are readily found in most discussions of the film. First off, if you have not heard Angel Sala the director of the Stiges film festival in Spain has been arrested for showing A Serbian Film. Under Spanish law, and under s strict interpretation of American law, A Serbian Film could be illegal. The laws in question could define A Serbian Film as child pornography. There is no actual sex involving children but the law provides for simulated sex with minors or persons portrayed as minors. While A Serbian Film does contain simulated sex with person, (or objects, more later) portrayed as children, it should be noted that many other mainstream films contained implied or simulated sex with minors. Movies such as Animal House, Hound Dog, Friday the 13th, Old School, Lolita, Pretty Baby and many others. Why single out A Serbian Film? Most likely due to that one scene being so notorious. That coupled with a prosecutor wanting to make name for himself.

So about the scene, here without further ado are the spoilers. The most notorious scene is a scene where a male has sex with a newborn baby. It seems really stupid to say the scene is not gratuitous but considering the possibilities, it could have been worse. No real baby is in the scene but a mechanical crying doll, and the “rape” is filmed from behind the man as the child screams. Still it is hard to watch, hard to stomach, and hard to cope with. That is the scene with the most press, there is another scene that was just as hard if not harder to watch which involves the anal rape of a five year old. Even though the child is not seen during the scene, the utter realism of it was disturbing beyond my ability to put in words. If these were the only two scenes A Serbian Film would still deserve to be the most talked about film today, but there are more. Scenes of children watching sex scenes, people forced to have sex while watching videos of children eating ice cream, and a character having sex while watching his nephews birthday party on video, presumably “getting off’ on the video.

I can honestly see people having a problem with this film. I have problems with A Serbian Film. It left me feeling physically ill and I doubt I will ever watch it again. It is far and away the most disgusting and disturbing film I have ever seen, and I hope it keeps that record. Still it is far from pornography. There are many more films tat are just excuses for gore, sex and shock that I would label as closer to pornography. A Serbian Film has a message, even if the director failed to deliver it clearly. Did I like it, damn that’s not something I can say right now. It did draw me in, it did make me feel for the characters. I had a hard time liking Milos, but had a hard time hating him too. Maybe that was the real message, that sometimes, despite our best intentions, life just fucks us over. If you decide to watch A Serbian Film, then don’t blame me.

Free Angel Sala!

A Serbian Film

2011-03-24T21:25:00.001-07:00

I just finished this, hopefully a review to come later tonight. kind of ill at the moment.

The review is here http://lorddixiesblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/serbian-film-srpski-film.html

Creative horror films

2011-03-23T17:32:00.000-07:00

Here is an exceprt and link to a list of great films, check it out
This site is for fans of creative, original, smart and well executed horror movies. As an avid horror movie fan, i've done my best to sort through and list some of the BEST gems i have come across over the years. This list includes lesser known, foreign, indie, and big production titles that i feel are all worth your time. I'll be updating this list whenever i find films that i think are noteworthy.

-HC

read the list here
http://horror-connoisseur.tumblr.com/

Into the maw of cinema madness

2011-03-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

So right now I am feeling in a pretty good place. I'm even kind of updating my blog, picking around on my script and thinking about other projects. Besides that I just feel pretty good. So in that feeling good, I get around to what to write about next. Lots of unwritten reviews are bouncing around in my head, should I try and put them to form in the physical world? Most have been out a while so have no sense of urgency. Should I watch something new or just expound on whatever bugs me? Well right now nothing much bugs me. Excpet I have become somewhat of a cinematic chicken.

I admit I have to be in a certian frame of mind to watch really disturbing films. Still I have been shirking and that's kind of a disservice to those who actually might look to me for film advice. I won't claim to be a real movie reviewer, I just report what I like, and why I like it. Sometimes I lack the words to express why I like a film, sometimes I can't even conceptualize it in my head. Am I rambling yet? More likely dodging the issue.

So I have been avoiding watching a couple films. One the most notorious fim in recent times. the other just some disturbing (in different ways) films. Well I haven't felt like dipping into cinema insanity in a while. Now, like I said I feel pretty good. So I'm going to do it.

My first intent was to watch them this weekend, but it may take me a while to find some of them. But I am going to start looking for them. Then I will watch them. Three films on my list to start, although if others come into my possession I will watch them. I will add to the list as I find or remember ones. These are three films that promise nightmares. Not "boo" jump out nightmares of nightmares of insanity, perversion and real mental torture. The three films, not necessarily in the order I will watch or even seek them out are:

What is it? by Crispin Glover, The Room by Tommy Wiseau, and the third, the most controversial film in the world right now. I have seen bits of The Room, and some clips from What Is It? Both have received critical assassianation and possibly deservedly so. What little I have seen of The Room was absolutely horrible. It may be the hardest one to watch.

What is it? is the controversial film by actor/director/writer Crispin Glover. Glover cast his fillm with actors who actually have Downs Syndrome. it is filled with visually disturbing images and scenarios. As a friend told me "One you see it, you can't ever not see it again".

Another friend told me almost the exact same thing about the third movie. The hands down most controversial, hotley debated movie today and possibly ever. I think it's fair to say, the most contentious film since Cannibal Holocaust. Like Ruggero Deodatos infamous film, criminal charges are being brought because of the film.

The film is A Serbian Film. If you haven't heard of it, you haven't been listening very well. The film has been investigated for charges of child pornography. In fact it may be illegal to own, watch or show it to others. Not that there is any actual child porn, but due to the wording of the law, over-zealous prosecuters who want to make a name for themselves, could bring charges. In Spain they already have brought charges against a promoter for showing it at a film festival.

Legal or not the film is disturbing. It is haunting. Once seen it can never be unseen. Even the idea of committing to watching this film disturbs me. That's why it has taken me this many words to say, what could be said in one line. I am going to watch A Serbian Film.

Three films all disturbing in different ways, for different reasons. Any of the could scar someone for life. I think my psyche is stable enough. If possible I will watch all three this weekend, but I don't know if I can find What Is It and A Serbian Film by the weekend. I think The Room should be easy to find, I do want to see it uncensored though.

Any way, I will watch these, and more. I will try to review or at least give my opinion of them. If nothing else I will post when I have watched them. If the Ancient Ones take my sanity during the attempt to watch them, then I will be waiting for you on the Plains of Leng disciple.

nothin

2011-03-18T18:24:00.001-07:00

nothing really just needed to bump my blog up in my profile

Kerri Kasem-I'm on the radio and you're not

2011-03-15T15:39:00.000-07:00

I’m going to go right ahead and admit that I’m not a big fan of the Sixx Sense radio show. I do listen to it most nights on the way to work because I like the music. However I often switch the channel because in all honestly the “Rock Star” egos get to me. Obviously Nikki Sixx has earned his Rock Star status. I didn’t know a lot about his co-host when I started listening but obviously being a music fan, I recognized the last name. Kerri Kasem is the daughter of one of the most famous voices on the radio, the legend Casey Kasem.

Kerri has a great radio voice and I don’t want to belittle her as a radio personality in her own right. However I do take extreme offense to what I heard on the show March 14th. Kerri mentioned she had been getting hate mail over something she had said on air. She read, or at least paraphrased some of the mail. It revolved around her attack of hunters, and their part in the extinction of the Eastern Cougar. That’s right the Eastern Cougar.

Now I have not heard her original rant, and rant was how it was described in several online reports. Apparently she had complained that the hunters drove the Cougar into extinction and just are killing off everything. From her comments on the air about her hate mail, I would think that is a fair assessment.

She attacked those who had wrote in saying that they had not done research and were just voicing their self serving opinions. “This is why I am on the radio and you are not.” she said angrily alluding to her in-depth research into Cougar populations, and the extinction of terrestrial fauna. She then went on to mention how the article she had read said that hunting was involved with the extinction.

It is true that the Eastern Cougar is now considered extinct. It has been on the endangered species list since 1973, and it truly is sad to see another species disappear. However apparently Kerri only read, or possibly only comprehended a part of the article. Wildlife biologists believe the Eastern Cougar has actually been extinct since the 1930’s. It was only on the endangered list because sightings were occasionally reported. Wildlife officials believed but could not prove that these were either Western Cougars who had wandered into the territory, or perhaps escaped captive cats. Scientists have long believed that no breeding population existed West of the Mississippi. Many believe they have been extinct for over 100 years.

The fact that the species has been long extinct does not lessen the sadness of losing another species. I for one, would love to see the cougar and the Wolf reintroduced. Nature needs balance, and cougars are a part of that balance. Like it or not so are humans, and hunters. Hunters did play a part in the extinction of the cougar, but so did habitat loss. A large part of the hunting was due to bounties offered for killing cougars. Bounties were not offered just to pay for hunters to get their kicks but because the cougar was looked at as a menace. It preyed on cattle and pets, and were considered a danger to children. All this is a part of habitat loss. We move into their territory, and they have to go. Would you be ranting the same way if a cougar stole your pet? Would you condemn all the condo builders and business owners in California who are constantly pushing farther into the wilderness?

Which all brings to a point the fact that the cougar is not extinct. The cougar is extinct east of the Mississippi river. Cougar populations are thriving west of the Mississippi. Many wildlife experts believe the cougar will one day, on its own repopulate on the eastern side. Add to this the fact that almost all biologists consider the Eastern Cougar to be genetically identical to the Western Cougar. So maybe extinct is to strong a word to actually be using.

So with all this, how much research did you actually do on the subject Kerri? Your on air rant on the 14th was cut off from a quick remark from Nikki, then went straight to commercial so I have no clue what other facts you were about to present. Facts other than you are a radio personality and everyone else isn’t, therefore you are right. That radio comment is what pisses me off the most. Do you really think because you are on the radio, you are smarter and better informed than everyone else? Better than wildlife officials and yes even hunters? Is the fact that you do research really why you are on the radio?

I am sure you have paid your dues. I know you have studied acting and have worked in entertainment in some way most of your life. I am taking none of that away from you. However your comment begs us to ask, would you actually have your job in radio if your last name wasn’t Kasem?

Please realize being a celebrity does not make you an expert.

Kerri Kasem hates hunters

2011-03-15T14:53:00.000-07:00

So Kerri Kasem pissed me off the other night. I am writing a full blog post about it as my "reply" to her air headed, egotistical remarks made on air. I also emailed Kerri, with no respinse yet, and the local radio station where the show is aired. This is the reply I got from the station and my original E-Mail. I am going to try and post the entire "conversaton" as this unfolds

Reply

Petersen, Paula to me

show details 8:40 AM (8 hours ago)

Thanks for your email. We appreciate your comments.

Paula Petersen

Traffic-Continuity

Clear Channel Mobile/Pensacola

WKSJ 95KSJ...WRKH 96.1 The Rocket...

WMXC Lite Mix 99.9...WTKX TK101...

The Groove 1073...WNTM-AM

6485 Pensacola Boulevard

Pensacola Fl 32505

(direct) 850.549.2002

(p) 850.473.0400 ext 102

(f) 850.473.0907

From: aalbrson@gmail.com [mailto:aalbrson@gmail.com]

Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 8:38 AM

To: Petersen, Paula

Subject: sixx sense

I have always found Nikki Sixx to be an overinflated ego maniac, and I really don’t enjoy hearing him on his show. I do love the music but find myself switching channels when Nikki starts to impart his wisdom, which I use very loosely. To here Nikki, a self proclaimed music expert, tell of how he has studied the assassination of John Lennon, yet had no clue that Mark David Chapman had just asked Lennon for an autograph is laughable (even Robot Chicken knows this just watch the Hannah Dakota episode). Still I had grown up listening to Casey Kasem, so I had some respect for Kerri until last night. She made probably the most egotistical comment I have ever heard on the show. She goes on a rant about a subject she knows nothing about other than an article she read, then insults everyone who takes offense.. her argument was wrong, she claimed she did research which is "Why I am on radio and you're not." I wont listen to the Sixth Sense anymore. She attacked every hunter in America and I believe a large part of your audience are hunters. Please remove this offensive show and force these two to get real jobs, so they can see how the real world functions

This is my reply just sent to TK101

First off I want to thank you for taking the time to open my email and copy and paste your "form" reply. I can onyl wonder if you even read it. Kerri's original comments have raised a furor in the hunting community. I do not hunt. It is a personal decision but her utter disdain for hunters and anyone beneath her is infuriating and unacceptable. I have been listenign to TK every since I discovered it after moving here in 2009. I enjoy Lex and Terry but I can listen to them online.

Once again thank you for taking the time to do the absolute minimum to address concerns of listeners

Red Riding Hood aka Dude, Your Hair is Awesome

2011-03-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

I really had high hopes for the Red Riding Hood, the newest incarnation of a Grimm Brothers fairy tale. Just seeing a darker, more malevolent version of the childhood classic was a draw for me. There have been several retellings of the story including In the Company of Wolves, and recently the excellent Halloween anthology Trick r Treat. When Gary Oldman was added to the cast that pretty much sealed the deal for me. The rest of the cast seemed solid, nothing that really got me whipped into a frenzy, but Oldman is one of my favorite living actors, and he always brings his A game.

There were things that concerned me. A PG-13 rating meant that the film wouldn’t be too dark. Plus PG-13 has in recent times become synonymous with horrible teeny bopper horror. Probably the biggest warning sign was that Red Riding Hood was being directed by Catherine Hardwicke. For those who don’t know Catherine was the director of the biggest insult to horror film this side of anything by Uwe Boll. That’s right she directed Twilight.

Still Gary Oldman and the promise of a dark version of Red Riding Hood pulled me. A version like we know had to be the original telling of the story. So I took a chance, and the film left me with mixed feelings.

The film was beautifully shot throughout. Excellent use of colors and the scenery kept the viewer riveted to the screen. The wolf attacks were less than bloody for the most part. In the scenes where we see the CGI wolf it isn’t that bad. I didn’t like the scenes where the wolf just blurs across the screen, killing so quickly we can’t focus on it. If the creature were that fast, the film should have ended within the first thirty minutes. Final score village- 0, Wolf-everyone.

Still the story was interesting and Gary soon made his appearance and his hair was wonderful. He lit up the screen as only Gary Oldman can. We watched as he changed from heroic savior to vicious witch hunter. All the time his hair was perfect.

There was a love story of course, actually a bit of a love triangle (oh noes TWILIGHT ALERT), between Red, Peter (Peter Rabbit or Peter Wolf), and Henri. Red of course loved perfect hair Peter, while ignoring brooding Henri(aha she kind of pulled a switch from Twilight, even though peter’s hair did look a lot like Edward’s). The Peter character really wasn’t very likeable, and I hoped Red would end up with Henri (does that make me Team Henri?) Even though he was brooding, his hair looked nice too. Maybe not as nice as Peter’s, and definitely not in the same league as Gary’s hair.

The movie turns into a whodunnit with more red herring’s flying than pies at a Three Stooges convention. Who is the werewolf? Is it Peter, Henri, grandma, or possible the sexy granddad from Geico? Well it couldn’t be Gary, the wolf’s hair just wasn’t good enough. The Wolf had short over conditioned hair with quite a lot of hair gel. Kind of like Peter, hmm. It was about two thirds of the way in when I realized.

Where the hell did Peter get hair gel in a Medieval village? Ok I know suspension of belief and all that but COME ON. Everyone’s hair was perfect, even the requisite crazy villager looked like he just came from Super Cuts. Still Peter was the worst offender. Oldman’s flowing hair can be explained since he was both a member of the clergy and a bit of a celebrity from the big city. Plus I freely admit I cannot say anything bad about Gary Oldman. If Gary Oldman chased me through Beverly Hills throwing feces at me and calling me a pedophile, I’d still be singing his praises.

Most of the villagers had hair that, while very nice, I could cope with, but Peter? Dippity doo and wolf shit too, his hair took me right out of the film. After I noticed it, well like a ugly mole on a hot chick, once you see it, you can’t un-see it.

Still if you can get away from the hair, don’t stare, it’s rude, just look away, it’s not a bad film in itself. Amanda Seyfrid makes a decent Red, err Valerie and Max Irons makes Henri a lot deeper and more likeable character than Peter. There are some great scenes like the village revelry. During the street party the soundtrack blends in perfectly with the music of the village.

The CGI is on the better end of the scale and doesn’t detract from the film. The ending really disappointed me though. At this point she really dipped into her bag of Twilight tricks. It felt as if she was almost trying to make this a prequel to the “kinder and gentler” Twilight werewolf’s, as well making it more of a fairy tale. Yes I know it is a fairy tale movie, but we were promised dark. Dark is not a girl and werewolf starring wistfully into each others eyes, or scenes of Red and Peter climbing snow covered hills. Where is the true pain and tragedy of the curse, not cheap emo sighs.

So the verdict? After all that I don’t feel like I wasted my cash, ok maybe I wasted half of the ticket price. I am a sucker for medieval settings, and Grimm’s tales. Plus getting to see Gary Oldman is always worth at least three bucks. Fans of Twilight will love it, although Team Jacob fans might get upset over a vicious werewolf. Fans of real horror will probably hit me with lemons for paying to see it. While it’s not a horrible movie, it is not really what I was hoping for. Twilight fans rush out now, fans of Gary Oldman and Grimm’s Fairy Tales, if there’s nothing else to do, why not? Everyone else, wait till it’s on HBO.

Devotion the movie

2011-03-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

Wow first new post in a long time! Gonna keep it short and sweet

Ever wanted to be part of a real movie production? Well now is a chance with the new film Devotion from BS films. Go here to help support the film and also earn some nice goodies. You can even be listed as a producer and get credit on IMDB.com.

For more information on Devotion go to its website where there is a short trailer up. More later folks and thanks for your support

Support "The Reformatory"

2010-11-23T06:07:00.000-08:00

Damned by Dawn

2010-11-14T03:11:00.000-08:00

Damned by Dawn

This Australian horror film was heavily marketed toward fans of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series. Watching the film it is easy to believe that the director is a fan of Raimi. The camera work and cinematography is reminiscent of the first Evil Dead film. Likewise the demons bear a fleeting resemblance to the “deadites” of Raimi’s films. However the humor off the Evil Dead series is missing from Damned by Dawn. The movie is dark and humorless, but I think the film works better without humor. Paying homage to Sam Raimi is one thing but I think trying to make an unauthorized remake would be a massive fail.

The movie’s plot revolves around the legend of the banshee coming to claim the soul of the dying. Piercing and horrifying screams awaken a family, when the matriarch is on her death bed. The old lady warns then that they must not interfere when the banshee comes to claim her soul. Off course they do interfere. This leads the shrieking spectre to awaken the dead to hunt down the family one by one.

The film manages to be creepy and scary at times. It even made me jump early on, which doesn’t happen a lot. The outside scenes look reminiscent not only of Raimi’s early work but also remind me a bit of Hammer films. The scenes are mostly kept dark which serves to help the effects, keeping the undead onscreen but for the most part not easily seen. The creatures appear to be CG or possibly a mix of Cg and practical effects. The fog and darkness work to keep them obscured enough so that they do not look as fake as most CG effects.

Some of the gore effects would have been better served to have been obscured more. The film makers attempt to pile on the demon gore ala Raini, but it doesn’t work as well. I won’t say that all of Raimi’s gore looked realistic, but on Damned by Dawn it just really looks fake.

It’s a minor detail though and overall it is a very effective little horror film. The banshee’s screams are chilling, and watching it in the dark can lead to jumps and squirms. Damned by Dawn will not make you stop waiting for Evil Dead 4, like the DVD case promises, but it might help you hold out till then.

Happy Vetern's Day

2010-11-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to those who give so much, and some who give everything. To those veterns, home and abroad, especially those still in a war zone, we salute you. Hopefully there will come a day when we stop making veterns, when the world no longer needs the sacrafice of American blood. To the families who are missing their loved ones we salute you as well. To those Veterns who did give everything, who gave their life, let us never forget.

Salute!

SINT trailer

2010-11-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

From Amsterdamn comes the latest killer Santa movie, just in time for the holidays here is the trailer for Sint

Contest! Free Giveaway

2010-11-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

SOOO I am working on a contest to give away something here on the blog. What is the prize? I will announce as soon as it is physically in my hands. How will the contest work? Not sure but it will be simple, along the lines of leaving a comment. Stay tuned! the prize will be decent, worth at least 25 bucks Let's call it a Christmas Horror Contest. Keep watching

The Walking Dead

2010-11-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

Well I had to DVR The Walking Dead last night due to work, but it looks like it was the biggest series premiere ever on AMC. I am watching it as I type and I am stunned by it. Darabont delivers again not just with the horror but with believable, likeable characters that we care about. Characters coping with an uncopable situation. Got about thirty minutes left in this episode and I am already jonsing for episode two. Give me more AMC!

Bloody Reunion- Korean Slasherfest.

2010-11-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

I caught the very end of Bloody reunion on cable a couple months ago. Really bloody, but also confusing. Now Asian cinema can be confusing at its best, so I should have known better than trying to make sense of a Korean slasher film from just the final ten minutes. Even though those ten minutes really looked encouraging, I completely misread the motivation of the killer.

Then last weekend I picked up a copy of Bloody Reunion at a local used DVD store. I settle in to watch it and really enjoyed it. Knowing the ending (or so I thought) didn’t spoil the film in the least.

Without giving away too many spoilers, the film concerns a reunion of former classmates at their teachers house. At first glance they all seem happy and successful, but they all harbor a dark secret about their time with teacher. As the party gets under way, the secrets start to surface. When night falls a mysterious figure in a rabbit mask starts killing the former classmates one after another.

Is the killer, the teachers disfigured child that she locked away in the basement? Or is the answer even more sinister? The story is told in flashbacks with some clever misdirection. The story is set up and told so well, that the misdirection doesn’t seem unfair. You may hit yourself on the forehead near the end and say “damn I forgot that was a flashback.” The filmmakers may have bent the rules of story telling but they didn’t break them.

There isn’t a huge amount of gore in Bloody Reunion but there are some squeamish points during some of the torture scenes. If you are a fan of Asian horror, don’t miss out on Bloody Reunion.

Altitude- Squids in Space!-not

2010-10-31T06:21:00.000-07:00

When I first saw the trailer for Altitude I was really excited. An airplane full of kids terrorized by a giant squid in the clouds. Dreams of Lovecraft filled my head. Come on, who else but the mighty Cthulhu, may he rise and devour us all, could be behind a giant squid in the sky?

Well apparently none of the filmmakers realized that this tempting trailer would get Lovecraft fans in a tizzy. Or they failed to realize that what really happens in Altitude would royally piss off those loyal Lovecraft fans. Well it pissed me off and left me crying false advertising. Maybe the stars just weren’t right for Altitude.

Apparently having a giant squid in the skies is just too ludicrous. Instead we a emoesque kid who projects his fear of flying (really) into a giant squid that devours his friends. Wow that’s much more plausible. Not only does he bring the sky squid into existence but also manages to force his fellow travelers to recite the dialogue from a comic word for word. A comic where people are being devoured by a giant squid. Yeah much more believable than the rebirth of an ancient god, may he slumber and dream of death.

Altitude has its cast of stereotypical teens, doing all the stupid stuff you expect teens to do. Climb outside a plane while tied to a rope, sure that’s something any teen would do right? It all ends with the revelation that dude has caused all this due to his angst over flying. Damn that makes sense. Also we find out that he probably caused a plane wreck as a baby. He really hates flying apparently. Off course we have to end it with a time travel, twilight zone, paradoxical ending that I wont even try and spoil for you.

It just amazes me that a whiny kid, too afraid to ask out the girl he is crazy about, has apparently never experienced anything worse than flying in his miserable existence. Come on, he was the punching bag amongst his friends on the plane, but he has never before been bullied enough to summon a cephalopod to wreak vengeance? Wasn’t the idea of psychic’s summing a giant squid done in the Watchmen comics? Wasn’t it also considered too out there for the film version? Hint to young filmmakers, if Zack Snyder can’t make it work, odds are you can’t either.

So if you haven’t heard of Altitude, just forget you read this. If you have and you are expecting Lovecraft, like the films wikipedia entry claims, you will be disappointed. If you never heard of Lovecraft or the great Cthulhu, long may he feast on our bones, and you are expecting just a wacky, Snakes on a Plane type monster fest, once again, expect to be let down. If you like PG horror, with pretty kids and a convoluted plot, you might actually like it. My best bet is to wait for it to show up on cable, where you won’t feel bad about the three bucks you spent on a rental.

I was advised to skip this flick, but I didn’t. Now I am passing that advice along to you. Especially the Lovecraft fans who might be reading this. Go watch Dagon again instead. Me, I’m just gonna sit here, drink a beer and wait for the stars to be right.

Victim of abuse by priest takes revenge

2010-10-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

No one is surprised anymore to read about a priest allegedly raping young boys. It seems to have become almost a given. Priests molest kids and when they get caught the church pays off the family and relocates the priest. Win, win situation, the family gets money to help cover the therapy, the church limit’s the bad publicity a trial would bring, and the priest gets access to fresh meat.

See how easy it is to laugh about it? Who hasn’t heard or even told a molesting priest joke? Now that Michael is dead, we all feel bad making pedo jokes, but the priest are still around. It’s easy to laugh, but it’s not quite as easy to remember that each joke represents a life ruined. It represents the institution that people look to for guidance and hope stealing the innocence of our children.

We look to the head of the church for a solution or at least for justice and we find nothing but weak words. If these molesters were not priests they would be in jail, but the church protects them, and worse at times seems to be aiding the pedophiles by relocating them, but still allowing them access to kids.

Does the priesthood draw pedophiles, or does the priesthood lead them down the road to sexual predator? Personally I lean to the latter. Priests are forbidden to marry or have sex. However while having sex with a woman is a sin which can see a priest removed from the pulpit, pedophilia is a sickness and needs counseling. In Christianity a sin is wrong, yet sickness is not a sin because it is beyond our control. Thus horny old men, locked in celibacy by their vows to God, may see their only release in the cherubic faces of young boys.

That is in no way meant to absolve those pedophile priests. There are plenty of other men of God who never walk down that path, or at least I hope there are plenty of them. These men are sick and they are criminals. They deserve to be in jail, just as the dirty old men who don’t have the protection of the Vatican are in jail. We don’t move them to a new neighborhood, we lock them up and even that seems too little, too late.

With the pedophile priests, we get no satisfaction. We get nothing but horror stories. Priest accused, priest denies, church denies, priest gets moved, new accusations arise, rinse and repeat. How long before the bubble bursts and people start taking the law into their own hands?

In California that has just happened. William Lynch was reportedly abused as a child three decades ago. On Friday he was arrested for viciously beat the priest accused of molesting him. The alleged molester, Rev. Jerold Lindner, was accused of molesting Lynch and his younger brother. He of course denies the accusations. The church had so much faith in his innocence that they paid Lynch and his brother 625,000 to settle in 1998.

There may be some who question a victim who takes a cash settlement. There have been times I have questioned why someone would drop the charges. Well half a million dollars is a lot of money. The alternative is a long drawn out trial, that may last for years.

Now consider that you were raped when you were seven years old, forced to have sex with your five year old brother. I’m betting your life has been pretty shitty, you can take the half million, try to salvage it, try to repress it or else go to trial, against the churches lawyers. You expose everything that happened and have the lawyers call you liars. All in the hopes of justice. A justice that would probably see him spend a very little amount of time behind bars. Hell, I’d probably take the damn money myself. It’s easy to judge them when you aren’t in their shoes.

Lynch took the money but apparently couldn’t forget about the past. Cash can’t buy back innocence apparently. So he took the matters into his own hands. This is the point where I should say that violence is not the answer. Two wrongs don’t make a right. What happened to Lynch doesn’t justify him beating an old man nearly to death. Well I am not going to say that.

What Lynch did to Lindner was no worse than what happened to him. If the allegations were true, than Lindner attacked a helpless child and scarred him for life. Yet he has never been charged or spent time in jail for it. Lynch attacked a helpless old man, beat him severely, but he is back at work.

His blood is on the church’s hands.

The blood of the innocents who suffered at the hands of Lindner also rest squarely on the church. They chose to look the other way, even when they knew they had repeat offenders. How can anyone have faith in a church that protects and possibly even breeds monsters. Monsters like Lindner, who belongs behind bars

Counting Lynch, Lindner was accused in three separate lawsuits for molesting children between 1973 and 1985. He was part of the over $600 million settlement struck between the church and over 500 accusers in 2007. He remained behind the pulpit till 2001, when he was assigned to the Los Gatos retirement home.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T05:39:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween!

Let Me In

2010-10-26T12:56:00.000-07:00

Let Me In

Poster for Let Me In

This weekend I gave in and saw Let Me In, the American remake of Let the Right One In. Let the Right One In is probably one of the best horror films in the last ten years. The idea of a remake just did not sit well with me and I had mixed emotions about seeing this film.

Anyone who has talked to me about movies for any length of time knows how I feel about remakes. To clarify, remakes are never necessary, there are plenty of original projects that never get made, or never get funded. Art and creativity take second place to profits. That said I have to admit there have been some good remakes, some like John Carpenter’s The Thing are arguably better than the original. Let Me In while not a horrible film does not manage to surpass the original. It actually came close to being a great film but was hindered by some major flaws.

One thing I have to credit director Matt Reeves with is that he didn’t Americanize it too much. In fact I think this actually may have hurt the film at the box office. The trailers and previews made this appear to be your standard American horror film. Likewise I think many upon hearing it was a vampire love story expected the sparkly emo vampires of Twilight. Instead Reeves gave us a bloody, disturbing tale very similar to the original.

Let Me In does simplify the relationship between Abby and her human protector. At first this bothered me as the relationship between Hakan and Eli was much darker and disturbing, and most of it was left up to the viewers own imagination. Those who have read the book know the true relationship, but it is never revealed in the film.

Let Me In takes a simpler approach and through a few subtle hints establishes a relationship that Abby’s guardian was once her boyfriend. At first this didn’t sit well but after viewing the entire film, I actually like this decision. It makes Abby a more tragic character, as well as adding a feeling of hopelessness to her relationship with Owen. Romeo and Juliet is referenced several times in the film and Anny and Owen truly are star crossed lovers with little hope for happiness.

I can’t find anything bad to say about the two lead actors. Both Kodi Smit-McPhee as Owen and Chloe Moretz played their part well and made the roles their own. While it is impossible to watch Let Me In without comparing it to Let The Right One In, it I think it is a disservice to compare the actors too closely. The two young actors did a wonderful job and were probably the brightest thing about the film.

Probably the biggest, and honestly only real problem with the film was the CGI. I had been warned the CGI was bad but I was in no way prepared for how bad. Without the CGI, which was entirely unneeded, I would have easily rated this film four stars out of five. The effects were so bad, and in my opinion, so damaging to the film I can’t give it four and even three seems generous.

Why did the filmmakers feel it was necessary to turn Abby into a monster when she attacked? Wouldn’t it have been even more disturbing to see the innocent looking child viciously attacking a victim? While we do need to see her as a bloodthirsty killer, I think it would have been more powerful and better for the story to have seen her still looking mostly human during the attacks.

The other CGI that I noticed was in the hospital fire scene. While I can’t attack them for using CGI in this instance instead of setting someone on fire, I can attack them for using such obviously fake CGI. This is the 21st century, if your effects team can’t visually trick me into believing a person is on fire, you need to hire a new team.

Other than the CGI, I really thought Let Me In was a beautiful film. There were some other small things I wasn’t crazy about such as the length of the pool scene. I really liked the less violent version in Let The Right One In. The shock of seeing the aftermath was more than enough, all the extra carnage really wasn’t needed, but wasn’t a game killer.

The subject of Abby’s sexuality was avoided in Let Me In and I can only assume this was done so as not to offend American sensibilities. They did leave in several of the lines that allude to her true nature, but the one pivotal scene that reinforces the truth is left out. In all defense, the original only hints to it with the exception of the one “nude” scene.

So should you see Let Me In? My advice would be to only see it after you see Let The Right One In. While you might enjoy it better without having the original, you are doing yourself, and cinema, an injustice if you don’t see the original. Let The Right One In is truly one of the best “horror” films in recent years. I think it will go down as one of the top fifty horror films of all time. Run to the video shop to rent Let The Right One In and then stroll leisurely down to the theater and catch Let Me In. While it comes nowhere near the first film, it is still a decent attempt at a remake.

Horror hottie Bobbi Sue Luther

2010-10-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

Bobbi first came to my attention a few years back when she was doing promo for Laid to Rest. I didn't know anything about her or the film, but it had good buzz so when it was released I decided to check it out. I was pleasantly surprised by the film and her performance. Not only that but damn was she easy on the eyes.

Now Bobbi Sue is starring in the remake of the classic Night of the Demons. Now I hate remakes but just from an eye candy point of view I had to check it out. The remake is good gory fun, and Bobbi Sue Luther looks better than ever.

Check out Laid to Rest, check out Night of the Demons, but mostly check out Bobbi Sue Luther.

John Carpenter's original Halloween on the big screen

2010-10-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

So last night I got the opportunity to see the original classic Halloween on the big screen. I am definitely not the biggest fan around but Halloween is one of the movies that terrified me as a youth (along with Orca for some strange reason). I was too young to see it on it’s initial release but just the promo poster at the local one screen theater gave me the creeps. The Halloween theme music in commercials terrified me. When I finally got a chance to see Halloween, it was on network TV, edited of course. It was many, many years before I finally saw it uncut on VHS, and PJ Soles nipples were just as awesome as I had imagined, and Michael Myers was just as terrifying.

Still even the edited version of Halloween gave me nightmares. Especially the Halloween theme. I remember having on particularly bad nightmare where Michael Myers was chasing me. I could hear the theme music, and hear his breathing behind me. Finally I woke up in a cold sweat, and the music was still playing! Talk about scared, brother I was scared. Then I realized my mom was cooking breakfast and had set off the fire alarm. That’s my fondest Halloween memory.

Now thanks to the wonderful people at Premiere Eastern Shore Cinema in Spanish Fort, I got to finally see John Carpenter’s classic Halloween on the big screen. Not only did we get to see the film but that had arranged it to be hosted by Bryan Andrews and Tony Moran, two stars of the original film. There was a short Q and A session before the film, door prizes and the stars signed autographs. I only found out about it last minute so I had nothing to sign but got a photo with Bryan who played little Tommy Doyle in the original Halloween.

Hopefully we will have more opportunities like this in the future. With all the remakes being churned out its nice that people get to see the original, on the big screen like intended. Halloween is such a well known classic, that I can’t imagine that there are many people who have not seen the original in some form. It plays regularly on cable and is available on DVD. There are a lot of horror classics that are not as well known such as the original The Hills Have Eyes and Last House on the Left. Maybe someday we can have them playing on the big screen again.

If they do will the horror community support them? I was pleasantly surprised at the turn out for Halloween. The theater was almost completely full. This for a midnight showing of a film over thirty years old. True it is Halloween season, and we did have two celebrities in attendance, but that could be done with other films as well. It would be great to have the choice to see a really great, classic film instead of the Hollywood, big budget garbage that is churned out with assembly line speed. It is up to us, the fans of classic horror, and classic film in general to support the theaters willing to take a chance, willing to buck the trend. Keep your eyes open, support independent film, support classic film and support those people going out on a limb to bring it to us.

Cheers to Premiere Eastern Shore and their staff and management. If you were at the Halloween showing go to Pccmovies.com ( no www.) and post a comment in their guest section.

Happy Halloween!

Haunted New Orleans Road Trip

2010-10-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Another pic or two, aint I a stinker

Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop one of the oldest operating bars in the Western Hemisphere, haunted by several apparitions
Blogger is acting up so only one picture for now

New Orleans road trip

2010-10-12T17:54:00.000-07:00

Just a few pictures from my trip to New Orleans. We stayed in the Bourbon Orleans, which is haunted, but no paranormal activity as far as we noticed. Honestly all of New Orleans is haunted, but thats another story.

requisite shot of Jackson Square

Went on a haunted history tour. If you are in town you should take the tour

Lalaurie Mansion, the most cursed building in New Orleans

Top Ten Horror Movies For Posers

2010-10-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

So, you call yourself a horror fan? You dress up on Halloween, you got your Team Jacob gear and have even seen Rob Zombie in concert. You tell everyone how much you love horror. However, you don't have a clue who George Romero is and you think Bram Stoker is the dude who played Dracula in the movie with Keanu Reeves. You my friend, might just be a horror poser. Here is a list of movies that just might be for you. Before you get angry this list is all in fun and some of the movies are actually pretty good. Don't expect to earn a lot of horror credibility from them though.

Here they are from ten to one.

10. The Fog (remake)- The original was directed by the legendary John Carpenter, the remake was directed by, um, someone else. Not the worst remake to be made in recent years, it still is bad. Gone are the like able cast and the creepy, disturbing un-dead lepers from the first. Instead we get cheap CGI and half hearted acting from a cast that seems like they had rather be somewhere else. It did not do well at the box office but I am amazed that so many young horror fans love this film. Posers love CGI apparently.

9. House of the Dead- Some consider this to be Uwe Boll's worst film. I prefer Alone in the Dark for that honor, still House of the Dead, runs a close second. Many people, like myself got suckered in by the MTV style commercials featuring DMX's blaring music. It really looked good. Live and learn, I guess. Up until the recent Day of the Dead remake this was the worst zombie film EVER. That includes Plan 9 From Outer Space, which at least you can laugh at. That is why I am so shocked when every so often it shows up on a list of favorite zombie movies. I blame their parents.

Page two at Associated Content

I need to post

2010-10-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

But damn I'm tired. Update coming soon. Just gpt back from New Orleans, will post some pictures of some real haunted houses and my drop dead gorgeous friend Jenn who accompanied me on the trip. Also have some content, not 100 % original but still fresh. Hopefully in a couple days, just worn out and have to wrk tonight

So you want a horror story

2010-09-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I come home from work and turn on the TV, by chance I had left it tuned to a news channel instead of TBS when I left. What was I greeted by? The news of Tyler Clementi who had apparently jumped to his death off the George Washington bridge. The police officially ruled it a suicide. Tyler was a 18 year old freshman at Rutgers, and by reports a talented musician.

With so much bad news, honestly this just registered as just another sad story. I hate to admit it but I went on about my daily rounds with little attention, but did make a mental note to look it up and find out more.

Before I had time to change the channels however, I heard about Asher Brown. Asher was a 13 year old from Texas who died of a self inflicted gunshot wound. Another tragedy. What besides the obvious do the two teens have in common? Both were the subject of harassment and bullying.

Asher was bullied because he was small for his age. Small kids typically have a hard time and are the target of the stronger bully types. However Asher was also a Buddhist, and also gay. This made him the perfect whipping post for other kids. Kids raised by homophobic, right wing parents. Kids who make themselves feel stronger but beating down those who can't fight back. maybe he could fight back if it was a fair fight but with gang mentality he never had a chance. It's sad he chose the path of terminating his own life. Suicide is not the answer but in Asher's case I can't call it the "easy way out." To a 13 year old kid, just coming to grips with his sexuality, with nothing to look forward to except being an outcast it had to seem to be the only way out.

With Tyler it wasn't bullying in the traditional sense, but betrayal and public embarrassment. He was recorded by his roommate while engaged in a sexual encounter. That recording was then posted to the Internet and the roommate tweeted about the prank inviting people to watch. Sure , maybe it sounds like a harmless prank, but once again played upon a young man, dealing with his sexuality, a sexuality still frowned upon by so many and looked on as a source of humor. Now in the Internet age embarrassment isn't just something between a group of people, your embarrassment can be broadcast worldwide. What escape did Tyler have except for death?

I don't condone the suicide of either, but I do understand. We live in a bigoted, intolerant society. A society where if you do not fit in you don't have a right to privacy, intimacy or even life. It would be bad enough if it were only these two, but it isn't. I just read of an unnamed California teen, 13 years old, who hung himself due to being tormented about his sexuality.

Bigotry, racism, homophobia, hatred and fear. When will we grow out of them? When will we step up and do something to stop our children from killing other children? Until that time hope your child isn't the one being tortured.

Asher Brown victim of fear and bullying

Tyler Clementi

For those who do care, please remember these kids and let's work to end this so no other parent has to lose their child this way.

WM3

2010-09-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

As I am typing this right now the latest attempt to gain a new hearing for Damien Echols of the WM3 is ongoing in Arkansas. Will justice finally be served or will paranoia and fear reign supreme? You can watch the hearing live
http://arkansas-sc.granicus.com/ViewPublisher.php?view_id=2

SyFy's Sharktopus Trailer

2010-09-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

The Human Centipede 2: teaser trailer

2010-09-24T18:41:00.001-07:00

Chiari

2010-09-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update to spam a link
please take the time to read and share this

New Pinhead revealed

2010-09-24T02:27:00.000-07:00

Warning Sarcasm Ahead
In a move surely to leave horror fans bouncing with excitement, especially Doug Bradley and Hellraiser fans, it looks like a new Pinhead has been cast for Hellraiser: Revelations. Now in all fairness to the lucky sap, err actor, Doug Bradley, the one and only Pinhead did turn the role down. Honestly that should be a clue for anyone involved that maybe this project should just be left to die a natural death. But it is Hollywood after all and poor bastard Stephen Smith Collins has landed the "no way to win" role of the decade. At least Jackie Earle Haley had a bit of a following before the Nightmare snooze fest. Plus this was a reboot, while the Hellraiser is a continuation of a series. I won't lie and say the last few Hellraiser's were classics, but at least we had Doug Bradley waiting to tear our souls apart, even if it was just for a few minutes on screen.

At least this is being helmed by a solid director in Victor Garcia ( warned you). I am sure everyone rembers Garcia from that Horror classic in the making Return to House on Haunted Hill. A movie that that had us all repeating "Why the hell isn't Cerina Vincent taking her top off?"

Now before you all go rushing to IMDB to see what this guy has been in let me just tell you. Tell you that I don't have a f'ing clue and really don't feel like checking. Does it really matter?

The New Pinhead

Poor guy

Living with Chiari

2010-09-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

I first took notice of Chiari Malformation when I found out a friend was living with Chiari. She had been diagnosed before I met her, and I would have never guessed that she suffered from anything other than a bright and cheerful attitude. Working in the medical field I knew of the condition but as far as I know I had never before encountered anyone with Chiari. Like so many other bits and pieces of information I had picked up in school it got shuffled into the background.

For those who do not know Chiari Malformation is a congenital condition where a part of the brain protrudes through a opening in the base of the skull called the foramen magnum and into the spinal canal. This part of the brain, known as the cerebellar tonsils, which normally lie above the foramen, puts pressure on the spinal canal. This pressure can cause pain in the back of the neck and radiating upward. Other symptoms of Chiari vary widely and can include blurred vision, muscle weakness, unsteady gait, facial numbness and trouble swallowing.

A related disorder found often, but not always in people with Chiari is Syringomyelia. Syringomyelia is when cerebrospinal fluid, also known as CSF, enters the interior of the spinal cord. There it forms a syrnix or cavity. The syrnix can expand over time which destroys the center of the spinal cord. In most cases Syringomyelia, like Chiari, is congenital. However a second form of Syringomyelia can be brought on by trauma. In people with Chiari the protruding part of the brain blocks normal CSF flow and can cause a syrnix. However not everyone with Chiari will develop Syringomyelia.

Treatment for Chiari Malformation can range from pain management with medication in mild cases to surgery. The surgery is known as posterior fossa decompression. In this surgery small portions of bone form the back of the skull are removed. This allows the tonsils to move back into their normal position in the skull and reduces compression of the brain stem. This surgical procedure gained notoriety in the horror movie Saw. The villain Jigsaw, though not suffering from Chiari had the surgery to remove pressure from a brain tumor.

Surgery is the only viable treatment for Syringomyelia. While in mild cases continued at

http://healthmad.com/conditions-and-diseases/living-with-chiari/

My friend Alicia who is living with Chiari

Hanger

2010-09-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

Hanger by Ryan Nicholson

Hanger is a 2009 movie directed by Ryan Nicholson, the director of such sleaze horror classics as Gutterballs and Live Feed. Anyone familiar with Ryan’s directorial work should already have a good idea what they are in for with Hanger. For anyone else the films synopsis SHOULD be enough warning, but even knowing both these things I found myself surprised by the audacity in Hanger. Fans of Ryan’s other work and those with an extremely warped sense of humor should love Hanger.

I got to admit I was a bit disgusted by some of the stuff I saw on the screen. It would be hard to tell watching me watch it because I was moving from “EWW” to laughing out loud with barely a break. I can safely say I think 80% of my friends wouldn’t like Hanger, probably at least half would be morally offended and 10-20% would think less of me as a human being for even watching it. It is definitely not a film for everyone.

Hanger is a film about a botched coat hanger abortion, ok that right there should tell you a lot. While the mom dies the baby manages to survive, horribly mutilated, both physically and mentally with a taste for blood. He grows up on the streets till his father comes for him on his 18th birthday and they set out on a path of revenge against the pimp who killed his mom.

Reading the synopsis I was expecting a typical revenge flick, type horror film. A film where a hideously deformed killer stalks hapless victims in search of the one who wronged him. Well there was a little of that but damn Nicholson can really pile on the sleaze. If you are the type who can’t watch a film with a morally ambiguous killer, avoid Hanger. However if a film in which the “hero” eats a Jehovah’s Witness while screaming “Give me a baby” maybe you might like it, but that is really just the tip of the iceberg.

To enjoy Hanger, or at least get through it, you need to be able to watch rape scenes shot in humorous ways including anal rape on an unconscious man, and rape of the heroes’ stoma (surgical incision in the side that allows you to bypass you rectum to defecate). I usually don’t like giving spoilers but besides the above scenes prepare for bloody tampons being sniffed and sucked, tea being made from tampons, being choked to death on feces, a coat hanger abortion, forced cunnilingus on a bound man (pretty graphic), a man choked to death on a tampon and bloody menstrual flow, cannibalism, and well I am sure I have missed something and that’s just the big stuff. Prudes also need to know it features a fully nude female masturbation that is hotter than anything I have seen in a no porn film, as well as some light object penetration. The nude scene is featuring actress Candice Lewald from Gutterballs. She is a beautiful actress and stands in stark contrast to the other physically deformed characters.

Does this film have any redeeming values? That’s kind of a trick question because I don’t think director Nicholson intended it to have any redeeming values. He sets out to produce horror sleaze that will appeal to only a select portion of the horror fan base and he succeeds. I personally preferred Gutterballs as it was more of a straight up horror film, albeit somewhat of a parody of the slasher horror film. With all of the depravity of Hanger, the part I most disliked was that Hanger himself was not a likeable hero. The protagonist in a film doesn’t have to be a good guy, but Hanger just seems to want to be a god guy, but he keeps eating people. I get where Ryan is going (I think) but that part just didn’t work for me.

The disgusting stuff didn’t bother me that much, I mean it’s just a movie people. I don’t like fecal horror, so the poop scenes weren’t really for me. Some may say rape is never humorous, and I agree. I didn’t laugh during the rape scene in Gutterballs, and I didn’t laugh at the rape in Hanger, but neither did they instill a righteous anger at the director for filming them.

In the interest of complete honesty, the best part of the film was the gorgeous Candice Lewald, credited as Candice Le in the film. Revealing more than most actress are willing to reveal on film, at least non porn, she heats up Hanger ( no pun if you have seen the film) with her long masturbation scene. The tampon scenes may turn off a lot of people, but may just as well turn on a lot of people. She could be in my movie, or be my secretary, any time.

So after all this what is my opinion, and would I recommend Hanger. While disgusting and sleazy, past the point of any film I have seen so far, I liked Hanger. I do think Gutterballs is a better film and personally liked it better, but for what it is, Hanger works. I did not like the character Hanger and could do without the poop scenes but that wasn’t enough for me to completely dislike Hanger. Would I recommend Hanger? After reading this you shouldn’t have to ask. I would only recommend it to fans of Ryan Nicholson’s other films and fans of gross out sleaze horror. People with a weak stomach and who can’t take what I mentioned above should avoid it at all costs.

More Electra and Elise: Crazy Babysitter Twins

2010-09-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

Sexy Chainsaw Twins Electra and Elise

No words just nom nom nom

Sexy Elise Avellan

Elise and Electra Avellan in Machete

Sexy Babysitter Twins, Elise and Electra from Planet Terror

Elise or Electra?

Resident Evil IV: A Face Full of Milla

2010-09-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

Well to be honest there is a lot wrong with the new Resident Evil Movie. The story is nothing special, the effects are hit and miss at the best and the 3-D can be distracting at times and just plain silly at others. Still I really enjoyed it. Does that make sense? As much as I rail about stupid movies, and decry the lack of intelligent film, especially in horror, I spend hard earned money to watch a sub par 3-D movie and then have the audacity to enjoy it? Well screw you guys I liked it.

First off I am a Resident Evil fan who really hasn’t played the games other than once or twice when the first one was released. Add to that that I am a Milla fan, due in most part to the first film. Now does it make sense? It gave me what I wanted another shot of zombie kicking Milla action.

Maybe one of the best aspects was stripping away Milla’s superhuman powers and just making her a human ass kicking machine again. Plus Milla was looking at the top of her game in this. She was stunning. Add to the mix Ali Larter as Claire Redfield who, in my opinion, looked even better than Milla and it is instant win for me. There was some dude playing Chris Redfield too, but really, do I care?

The bad guys ran the gamut from average reanimated flesh eater to zombie dogs, and some leviathan type dude with a massive axe. I am sure RE game fans are lambasting me for not knowing the character, but once again, who cares? He was freaking cool and the battle with him, Milla, and Ali rocked ass.

The CGI was ok for the most part and I say that because I can’t recall many moments when the effects really pissed me off. One effect which I assume was a miniature effect that was shot in 3-D was horrible but I will cover that in the bad stuff.

For the most part the 3-D was a negative and the film would have been better off without it. The coolness of the 3-D was mostly in the title sequences. Yeah it was that weak. There was one scene that almost made the 3-D worth it. When Alice (Milla) literally jumps out of the screen riding the shock wave of an explosion. Literally out of the screen, hovering in the air just over your face. This my friends was what 3-D was meant to be. Who can resist a face full of Milla?

Now the bad. The 3-D, during the action scenes there is so much debris flying toward you that it obscures the screen. The first time it happens the effect is cool, you really want to flinch to avoid it. It is repeated ad nasueum and it gets old really quick, especially when you realize you are missing the action due to all that debris. I want to see Milla, not a cloud of dust.

The scenes involving Milla’s plane just look amateurish. It seriously looks like a miniature tied to a string suspended in mid air. I can only assume that is how they accomplished the effect.

The only CGI effect that pissed me off was one I was looking forward too. Resident Evil: Extinction promised us an army of Milla clones fighting against the Umbrella Corporation. The film opens with this army of Milla, but damn. The effect sucked. It looked like basically the same shitty split screen effect that let Jethro and Jethrine be onscreen at the same time on The Beverly Hillbillies. Can’t we do better fifty years later on the big screen?

Lastly at the chance of being called a total pervert, there was no nude scene. Mow I accept this could well be Milla no longer being comfortable doing nudes. However her nude body added a touch of spice to the first two films. The idea of seeing her nude body in 3-D was a major incentive in shelling out eleven bucks for a ticket. I still could have dealt with this if there wasn’t the nudity tease. Alice wants to take a shower and surprise the survivors have a working shower. YES! Unfortunately they don’t have hot water. Double YES!! Milla then proceeds to take off her holster, wait for it.. And she is interrupted and then the damn zombies attack. Ah well.

So, my opinion. Resident Evil: Aftermath is not that good of a movie. If you are a major Milla and Resident Evil fan, there is a decent chance you will like it. There’s also a chance you won’t. There are plenty of flaws ad very few redeeming values beyond the hot leading ladies and well, a face full of Milla. Still I liked it, and was stoked to hear a fifth film will happen. Let’s hope Milla sheds her inhibitions and sheds her clothes. Nude Milla, cold shower, and 3-D, you do the math, but to me it equals total win

Horror Hotties: Crazy Babysitter Twins

2010-09-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sure to make your heart go pitter patter are Electra and Elise Avellan, better known as The Crazy Babysitter twins. The twins are the nieces of director Robert Rodriguez and Elisabeth Avellan. They first gained attention and idolisation in the Grindhouse double feature directed by Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. Appearing in both segments they set fan boys on fire. Now they are on the big screen again, playing sexy nurses in Machete. Lucky they are nurses as their beauty will take your breath away. Don't believe me check out their Maxim pictures. WOW. Here are some of their sexy shots.

Sexy babysitter twins Electra and Elise

Sexy Electra Avellan Solo