Bloody Birthday (1981)

Happy Bloody Birthday

Bloody Birthday (1981)-Guilty Pleasure

The 80s were the decade of not only slasher films, but holiday slashers.  Prompted by the success of Halloween and Friday the 13^th, the calendar was plundered for any day a slaughter could be planned on.  While most of these films followed a similar, if not predictable path, Bloody Birthday steered a slightly different course.

Most of these early slashers had at least some degree of “whodunit” (before the remake there were still lots of “fans” who were wrong about who the killer in Friday the 13^th was), while others featured masked killers.  These unstoppable juggernauts killed unchaste teens before finally failing to kill the “last girl”.  In Bloody Birthday we know from almost the start who the killer(s) are.  In Bloody Birthday the monsters are three children, all born during an eclipse and planetary alignment.

As their tenth birthday approaches, the psychotic, sociopath children waste no time in offing their parents, teens, and any adult that crosses them.  Technically you could argue this isn’t even a true slasher, since the children use any weapon available and it is seldom a knife or bladed object.  Instead they use jump ropes, bats, arrows, and even guns to deadly effect.

Remember Julie Brown? Bloody Birthday fans do

When one of their glass mates and her teenage sister discover their true nature, they become targets of the terrible threesome.  At first they try to kill the teen, then to discredit her by making the town think she is crazy.  Their plan works at first, allowing them freedom for more mayhem, but as the body count grows, eventually the authorities catch on and two of the kids are arrested. The girl escapes and goes on, possibly to more atrocities in a sequel that never happened.

Bloody Birthday is a decent entry to the class of holiday horror.   The acting is on par with and possibly a bit better than many more well-known entries in the genre. While the kids might lack in acting chops they make up for it in genuine creepiness.  Especially Billy Jayne as Curtis who has a genuine smile on his face each time he murders someone.  No grimace, growl, or snarl could be more evil than that smile that says he is really getting off on the killing.

The basic back story that the alignment blocking Saturn has caused the children to be missing a vital part of their psyche seems a bit silly now, but this was 1980.  Besides what does it really matter, kids born during eclipses act strange, right?   The production values are a little above a good TV movie of the time, and better than some low budget film fare.

Really there’s one major reason to not pass up Bloody Birthday, beyond the creepiness of Curtis that is.  The reason is MTV’s own, (not downtown, but the other) Julie Brown.  Don’t remember her? A lot of people get her confused with the DJ Downtown Julie Brown, but this Julie is a comedienne and actress, whose biggest role was Earth Girls are Easy with Geena Davis and a then unknown Jim Carrey.  You won’t see her comedic genius here but you will see her tits and ass, and they are remarkable.  Call me a chauvinist; call me a sexist pig, but that is worth buying the DVD alone.  Her body is beautiful, tanned and toned, with no hint of tan lines or extra baggage.  Julie shakes that nude body for several minutes in front of the camera.  Oh yeah, I know it’s wrong but when I first saw this film it was censored for TV.  Seeing the uncut Bloody Birthday is just pure ecstasy.  Especially now that I know who Julie was.  Unfortunately she meets a very grisly fate at the hands of the kids.

I added these hearts for Valentines day, I knew you would like them. Wont see them in Bloody Birthday

So if you are a fan of that particular brand of horror that existed in the 80s check out Bloody Birthday if you haven’t already.  Fans who remember those years will enjoy the nostalgia, those who weren’t lucky to grow up then can maybe see what we loved about that decade.  Or if you are a fan of Julie Brown from her comedy series on MTV or elsewhere check it out to see a sexy young Julie.  It’s available on DVD, and even streaming on Netflix as I write this so you can check it out with little damage to the pocket book.

Special thanks for those that read to the end. Viva la Julie Brown and Bloody Birthday