Thursday, June 4, 2015

I guess I got the claws, aka don't mess with Eric Morse

Yo Splatter pants.

So last week in a stroke of what I'm sure you considered genius, you decided to call me out and accuse me of being W.P. Fitzgerald. I don’t like being put on blast, even though I thought it was hilarious, because like most other things in life you are woefully wrong and ignorant. I am not W.P Fitzgerald, and to me it's pretty obvious who it is, and yes I do know who it is. To reiterate, I am not W.P Fitzgerald and you should stop accusing me. Or else I will have to publicly shame you more. I will give you credit that you didn’t throw a rant after I posted on your shitty books Facebook page, you just deleted my posts and went on. You're learning. However you still have me name on your Facebook, you are still insulting me and calling me a coward. This aggression will not stand and shit.

See I had almost forgotten you, oh yeah I got a good laugh out of your pathetic sandwich videos, and your gall to insult Kane Hodder in your “coffee Vlog”. We have actually had a couple parties laughing at your shitty videos. Honestly do you even attempt to edit them? For fucks sake “Bill” your opening music runs over your intro speech. That kills any credibility your video might have, well it would still suck but at least it would look like you gave a shit. Please fix it, you are embarrassing fan fiction writers all over the net with that shit.

Sorry, back on track, as I was saying I was pretty much just minding my own shit, when I got a message asking me if I was W.P. Fitzgerald. Then I got sent a screen cap of your rant calling me out. Which proves you're an idiot for thinking it was me, and also proves your own “fans” and “friends” apparently like me better than you. Or you're so pathetic they just enjoy spying on you. Whatever, you put me on blast, and regardless of how funny it was, I cant let it go without answer. So my first blog post pissed you off, and like the coward you are, instead of posting here you went to your security blanket of a blog and counter ranted me. I let it go, anyone reading it can tell you are imbalanced, but since you keep bringing me up, lets answer your blog


A friend of mine a few days ago sent me a rant done by one
of the trolls, aka Morse Bashers"

First off, you don't have any friends. More than likely someone sent you the link just to watch you go into rant mode for a good laugh. Secondly you love the term "Morse Bashers" because it makes you feel important, which you aren't

"Honestly the pathetic loser who I will call Lord Dickwad, because every small man needs a huge title to give himself weight"

This coming from someone who dares call himself the "King of Splatterpunk" and the Alpha Wolf.. Oh wait 400 people supposedly demanded you take that title. Do you even know what Splatterpunk is? Once again trying to steal other people's thunder. Have you ever written anything even remotely close to spatter punk? Please don't say your pathetic fan fiction Jason stories earned you that title. Oh yeah and if I were you I wouldn't mention weight while you are eating multiple giant burgers for every meal.

"though this guy is fat enough on his own (not fun when it is fired back at you Lord Dickwad??"

Oh, I am wounded! Was that the famous claws everyone hears about but no one has felt? Seriously you easily outweigh me by 200 pounds on my worst day. Try again.


"Anyway, Lord Dickwad wasted a whole five pages spouting off old propaganda that has been long since disproved"

Saying you aren't a stalker doesn't disprove it, just means you are in denial. You also said you weren't Gerald Fitzgerald for months. Get help stalker and thanks for counting the pages.

"Well, most of my female friends, including DRo (or as most horror fans know her
as Debbie Rochon) and JA Steel, Maria Olson, Tiffany Shepis, and a number of
others, will have a good laugh over that. They know as most people who actually
know me that I don’t hate any particular race, gender, or sexual orientation. I
hate ego case assholes, and low life scumball losers like you"

Really? Well I don't hear any of these women laughing. I don't see any of them posting on your wall or coming to your defense. Sorry but your pages of rants on your page speak louder than this bullshit. You have also thrown around words like "faggot" and "retard" in reference to people as well as "bitch" "whore" and "cocksucker" which shows you do look down on people due to gender and sexual orientation.

"Also you say my hatred of....TL:DR"

Yes you hate Americana Mary and See No Evil because the Soska's disrespected you by not calling into your shitty podcast on your birthday. Who can blame them. You are unbalanced, your show sucks and they had nothing to gain. And all it cost them was the hatred of a toothless "Alpha Wolf" impotently howling obscenities at a moon he can never reach


"If you weren't so busy being scumball asshole you might have read the dozens of reviews by reviewers that
are not drinking buddies of the Soskas. They say American Mary is full of
plot holes and bad writing as well as tanks in the last twenty minutes"

And if you weren't a hateful pig you would have read the hundreds of reviews calling it one of the best films in recent years, or if you were a reviewer with any cred you would state your opinion and not scour the web looking for reviews that back you up, but no, you want proof that you aren't a piece of shit hating on people with more success and more talent than you. It also makes you spineless. When I do a review, fuck what anyone else thinks



"Also you mouth of about how superior you are to me because you go to conventions and make friends"

No I am superior to you because I am not a petty, hateful, failed writer who goes to conventions, has friends, and makes more friends, and unlike the cast of Dark Shadows and you, celebs aren't embarrassed to have pictures with me on the Internet

"when I was at Epic Con" Epic Fail con you mean
"Since going to that convention my fan mail had tripled"

Because 3 times zero is still zero

"people are buying my books"

Derek Young and your sister don't count


"So you and you buddies have failed to sink me and my books"

Your books sink all on their own


"You lack real talent so you attack those who do"

Really and what have you read or seen of mine? In fact you attacked the Soska's before you ever saw See No Evil 2, if you ever did. You reviewed it without seeing it. So truthfully, you lack talent, and you attack the Soska's who do have talent.

"You are all pathetic losers"

I don't live in my sisters basement and have to fight with bums to take a shit. I don't get kicked off buses because I smell bad. God doesn't throw dead raccoons at me. I have an actual job, own a car, own a smart phone aka so now, who is a pathetic loser?



""Man you have way to much time on your hands and way too much sexual frustration."
Really, who is so desperate to make people think he got kissed ONCE that he has posted about it multiple times over the years. I have seen you all misty eyed over Michelle Shields. Hey remember when you pretended Kathleen Whilhote was your girlfriend. Remember when you decided Violet Van Dorn was your girlfriend. Remember how obsessed you are over the Soskas? Now who is sexually frustrated?  Also since my social life isn't confined to watching Star Trek in my sister's basement I have no fucking clue who Dr. Plox looks like, but I'm betting you look a lot more like Jabba the Hutt than I do Plox, and I am far from 52 years old. An age that I'm sure you have already waved goodbye to with hammy hand.

"your audience is going to get bored" But at least I have an audience "they will turn on you" Living in your fantasy world again? My "audience" is laughing it's ass off at you, while none of your fans or friends have stepped up to defend you. Mostly because they are non existent. Those few fans you have know you are loony tunes. "I'm not going to change" your underwear No which is one of the signs of insanity, you keep doing the same thing and hoping for different results. You can't accept you are wrong. You are delusional beyond belief. Even when Harlan Ellison calls you out, calls you a liar, threatens you, STILL you hold to your hallucination that he is your friend. "You are all truly pathetic" Once again, who lives in his sister's basement? Who has imaginary friends? Who had this Wikipedia page pulled down and who only got 12 signatures on his petition to get it back? Who couldn't get even ONE person to play his trivia contest for a free book? Who fights with homeless for a spot to poop? Not me. "And, no, Lord Dickwad, I will not go on your pathetically constructed blog and comment. I'm not stupid enough to go into your territory" My pathetically constructed blog (yours is so high tech and cutting edge!) has over 100 x the page views of your blog, and my visitors don't visit to laugh at me. People read your blog to see how insane you have become and what stupid shit you are ranting about this week And for the second part, this proves what a delusional idiot you are. Why do you think you have to make it easy for me? Listen fat ass, I can continue to poke you as long as I like. I can blog about you every day, till the point every fucking google search for William Pattison will show my blog. I can buy Williampattison.com and authorericmorse.com and fill it with gay porn if I want. You cant stop me. You don't have the money to buy the domains yourself, and before you start fatty, it's perfectly legal. You really are stupid if you think I need you to comment here to make fun of you. I was just giving you the chance to show you had balls. You don't. And you call me a coward, lol. "because it gets brutal when the feeders turn on you" Once again, what the fuck? Are you seriously twelve years old that you think you are going to scare me with your fantasy world bullshit? Or are you threatening to eat me Jabba? Sorry, even if I were gay, I could find way better. I'm out of your league. On to another blog post because it's fun and I'll just skip around "In regard to the horror magazines, that is simply because I won't kiss their asses or pay them to write about me" No they wont write about you because you aren't popular enough to sell magazines, you aren't interesting enough for regular readers to want to read about, and they all know you are fucking nuts and want nothing to do with you
.
"Actually the truth is I did have a major horror magazine. That magazine is Diabolique. Greg, the owner, is a lot like me." How did that work out for you tubby? "I was a guest at the very first Days of the Dead" Where you didn't sell shit, had to give away autographs to help Derek pay for his hotel room "I was a guest at the infamous Epic Con" Where you sold nothing, and the only reason you were invited was because Derek Young was helping book it. You even had to buy your own plane ticket and you ended up shitting in a toilet with no door. Really great show to put on your resume. "The Soskas are ass kissers and have a sugar daddy that will pay to get them into conventions" Again showing your stupidity. People ask for the Soskas to be at conventions. Droves of people. How many people have asked for you to be at any convention, even with you begging them to request you. I have seen one person request you at a show. That person now says that you are a dangerous stalker who needs help. He's right. "the fans want to go see famous people who will chat with them" Key word is FAMOUS, and they want people to chat with them not stalk them. People want celebrities at conventions. They don't give a shit if Tony Todd won't chat with them, or the Soska's. Thing is the Soskas used to chat, but some want to be celebrity, fan fiction writer helped stop that by harassing them "I respect my fans" All three of them From Facebook "Those of you assholes that are currently on my friends list be prepared to be banned and blocked from anything related to me. In regard to Guesome Hertzogg…I let you back on my friends list and you decide to support a cyber-stalker?" Once again showing how ignorant you are. The people who are following the W.P.Fitzgerald page have no clue it's a parody of you. You just aren't important enough to even register on their radar, and I'm sure they wont give a shit that you blocked them " I had started to try a present an olive branch to you"

Shut the fuck up about olive branches. It doesnt make you look smart or witty, it just makes you look like a joke.


"Elissa and you fucked up your one chance to make up with me. Good job."

I'm sure she cries herself to sleep over this every night. Or laughs

  "Anyone else want their asses blocked?"

I'm pretty sure no one cares. How many have come begging back? And handing someone their ass usually entails either physically teaching them a lesson or at least a verbal lashing they can't respond too. Blocking someone then talking shit about them is not  "handing them their ass" it's cowardice, which fits you quite well.


"A special hello to W P Fitzgerald aka Lord Dixie. Amusing little parody site. You know something, jackass, all you are doing is getting my name out there"

No, it's getting W.P.Fitzgerald's name out there. Most people will have no clue who it is a parody of, since quite honestly, you aren't famous. Those who do know it' you will just laugh at you. Again.

" I could give a rat's ass about your bullshit."

Then why do you keep obsessing? Because it burns you up. You have no sense of humor. Nothing but your huge overinflated ego. "For those of you who want to get a laugh at my expense, here is that tubby retard, Allen Elbertson, aka Lord Dixie's parody site he did on me....."

Sigh, no it's not my site, no I am not mentally handicapped and "retard" isn't a nice word William. I'm actually not even that tubby, but yeah I do need to drop a few pounds. Ouch those claws again. And spell my name right idiot or shut the fuck up "Here is a little message to Lord Dixie and any other asshole who thinks they can bury me or my work. My fans may be silent but they are many. My legacy will go on while you will fade away like a bad memory. Remember that...."

You have no legacy beyond the fan fiction books you wrote. Your books are buried in the fact that they aren't very good, and no one is really interested. Your fans are not many. If so wouldn't one of your books be in a Amazon top anything? Your books sell for a high price on EBay because they are a novelty, not because they are good or even very popular. My legacy is the people I have helped, both professionally and privately. My online legacy is blogs that will still be getting more hits than your shitty blogs as long as the Internet exists as it does. You will be remembered as a pathetic, little would be writer who never made it, and never had a lot of talent. A man who hated anyone more successful than him, never forgave any imaginary sleight, drove off the few fans he actually had, and anyone who respected him. Who listened to a handful of enablers, like Derek and never got help.

"Just keep it up you fucking mental case coward"

Second time that you have called me a coward online. But would you say it to my face, or run squealing and shitting yourself? I want you to call me a coward, and know I don't take an insult lightly. Maybe I will come to the shitty Martinsville Horrorfest and buy one of your books. See I can do that I can fly to any convention anywhere
How many fan?
Ok so I am bored with this, so here's the deal. Read this, and learn your mistake. Don't call me a coward or put me on blast. Don't accuse me of doing shit I haven't done. Mostly remove any reference to me from your Facebook and I wont write any more blog posts about your stupidity. Go play in your little sand box with your little pretned title "King". Don't mention me or show up on my radar. Eat another sandwich or two

BTW Willie, London 1887 is an American Company and the shirt design has nothing to do with you. The owner thinks you're a joke too and got a good laugh out of your stupid post. Don't believe me? Email the company and ask