Monday, October 11, 2010

Top Ten Horror Movies For Posers

So, you call yourself a horror fan? You dress up on Halloween, you got your Team Jacob gear and have even seen Rob Zombie in concert. You tell everyone how much you love horror. However, you don't have a clue who George Romero is and you think Bram Stoker is the dude who played Dracula in the movie with Keanu Reeves. You my friend, might just be a horror poser. Here is a list of movies that just might be for you. Before you get angry this list is all in fun and some of the movies are actually pretty good. Don't expect to earn a lot of horror credibility from them though.


House of the Dead


Here they are from ten to one.



10. The Fog (remake)- The original was directed by the legendary John Carpenter, the remake was directed by, um, someone else. Not the worst remake to be made in recent years, it still is bad. Gone are the like able cast and the creepy, disturbing un-dead lepers from the first. Instead we get cheap CGI and half hearted acting from a cast that seems like they had rather be somewhere else. It did not do well at the box office but I am amazed that so many young horror fans love this film. Posers love CGI apparently.



9. House of the Dead- Some consider this to be Uwe Boll's worst film. I prefer Alone in the Dark for that honor, still House of the Dead, runs a close second. Many people, like myself got suckered in by the MTV style commercials featuring DMX's blaring music. It really looked good. Live and learn, I guess. Up until the recent Day of the Dead remake this was the worst zombie film EVER. That includes Plan 9 From Outer Space, which at least you can laugh at. That is why I am so shocked when every so often it shows up on a list of favorite zombie movies. I blame their parents.

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