Thursday, February 23, 2012

Bianca Barnett

I am very excited to feature the beautiful Bianca Barnett on the Dark Domain.  If you don't know Bianca yet, you're missing out.  Just check out those big beautiful eyes.  Probably her biggest role yet was in Albino Farm alongside WWE superstar Chris Jericho although you probably won't recognize her under the make up as pig bitch.  In real life she is far, far from Pig Bitch. Keep your eyes on Bianca as she has several films coming out in the near future including Monster Mountain, Dead Inside, and The Toy Box. Check out these great pictures of the beautiful, sexy and classy Bianca Barnett.  Then join her Facebook fan page

sexy cheerleader Bianca Barnett
Sexy and Evil Bianca Barnett

You can find more about Bianca at Bianca's website and can buy autographed pics and merchandise
Beautiful Bianca Barnett far from Pig Bitch
Bianca Barnett from Albino Farm
Bianca Barnet
Beautiful and classy Bianca Barnett
Bianca Barnett, far from pig bitch
Sultry Bianca Barnett
Get hooked on Bianca Barnett

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Bloody Birthday (1981)

Happy Bloody Birthday

Bloody Birthday (1981)-Guilty Pleasure

The 80s were the decade of not only slasher films, but holiday slashers.  Prompted by the success of Halloween and Friday the 13th, the calendar was plundered for any day a slaughter could be planned on.  While most of these films followed a similar, if not predictable path, Bloody Birthday steered a slightly different course.

Most of these early slashers had at least some degree of “whodunit” (before the remake there were still lots of “fans” who were wrong about who the killer in Friday the 13th was), while others featured masked killers.  These unstoppable juggernauts killed unchaste teens before finally failing to kill the “last girl”.  In Bloody Birthday we know from almost the start who the killer(s) are.  In Bloody Birthday the monsters are three children, all born during an eclipse and planetary alignment.

As their tenth birthday approaches, the psychotic, sociopath children waste no time in offing their parents, teens, and any adult that crosses them.  Technically you could argue this isn’t even a true slasher, since the children use any weapon available and it is seldom a knife or bladed object.  Instead they use jump ropes, bats, arrows, and even guns to deadly effect.

Remember Julie Brown? Bloody Birthday fans do

When one of their glass mates and her teenage sister discover their true nature, they become targets of the terrible threesome.  At first they try to kill the teen, then to discredit her by making the town think she is crazy.  Their plan works at first, allowing them freedom for more mayhem, but as the body count grows, eventually the authorities catch on and two of the kids are arrested. The girl escapes and goes on, possibly to more atrocities in a sequel that never happened.

Bloody Birthday is a decent entry to the class of holiday horror.   The acting is on par with and possibly a bit better than many more well-known entries in the genre. While the kids might lack in acting chops they make up for it in genuine creepiness.  Especially Billy Jayne as Curtis who has a genuine smile on his face each time he murders someone.  No grimace, growl, or snarl could be more evil than that smile that says he is really getting off on the killing.

The basic back story that the alignment blocking Saturn has caused the children to be missing a vital part of their psyche seems a bit silly now, but this was 1980.  Besides what does it really matter, kids born during eclipses act strange, right?   The production values are a little above a good TV movie of the time, and better than some low budget film fare.

Really there’s one major reason to not pass up Bloody Birthday, beyond the creepiness of Curtis that is.  The reason is MTV’s own, (not downtown, but the other) Julie Brown.  Don’t remember her? A lot of people get her confused with the DJ Downtown Julie Brown, but this Julie is a comedienne and actress, whose biggest role was Earth Girls are Easy with Geena Davis and a then unknown Jim Carrey.  You won’t see her comedic genius here but you will see her tits and ass, and they are remarkable.  Call me a chauvinist; call me a sexist pig, but that is worth buying the DVD alone.  Her body is beautiful, tanned and toned, with no hint of tan lines or extra baggage.  Julie shakes that nude body for several minutes in front of the camera.  Oh yeah, I know it’s wrong but when I first saw this film it was censored for TV.  Seeing the uncut Bloody Birthday is just pure ecstasy.  Especially now that I know who Julie was.  Unfortunately she meets a very grisly fate at the hands of the kids.
I added these hearts for Valentines day, I knew you would like them. Wont see them in Bloody Birthday

So if you are a fan of that particular brand of horror that existed in the 80s check out Bloody Birthday if you haven’t already.  Fans who remember those years will enjoy the nostalgia, those who weren’t lucky to grow up then can maybe see what we loved about that decade.  Or if you are a fan of Julie Brown from her comedy series on MTV or elsewhere check it out to see a sexy young Julie.  It’s available on DVD, and even streaming on Netflix as I write this so you can check it out with little damage to the pocket book.

Special thanks for those that read to the end. Viva la Julie Brown and Bloody Birthday

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Dead (2011)

The Dead (2011)

In film today it seems the only thing more common than remakes, is the idea of putting a “new spin” on something. Hollywood isn’t content to follow the basic rules but has to reinvent and have a fresh take on a subject. While that isn’t always bad it does at times create cinematic atrocities like Twilight and House of the Dead. With the 2011 zombie move The Dead, doesn’t bother with a new spin. It is classic hand biting, bullet to the head Romero style zombie goodness. Those looking for a return to classic zombie fare should look no further than The Dead. In my opinion it’s the best Romero zombie film since Dawn of the Dead.

That’s right I am saying it’s more of a classic zombie film than several of the master’s latest works. Land and Survival both introduced elements of zombie evolution not present in Romero’s older works. While Diary and Day of the Dead were straight up Romero zombie films, The Dead is a better film than either of those. Visually it reminds me a lot of Day of the Dead with similar feasting, however it doesn’t linger on the “cannibalism” quite as long. Still, and I make take heat from Romero fans, the acting is far superior to anything in Day of the Dead. Day has reached cult status, and has a legion of fans but you have to admit the acting and some of the dialogue is pretty cheesy. There is no cheese, and very little if any humor in The Dead. This is zombie survival at its very best. It follows the Romero rules and it’s full on zombie apocalypse, on a very personal level.

Set in Africa, the story focuses on American Air force Engineer Brian Murphy who is on the last evacuation from war torn West Africa. Engine failure along with the death and reanimation of a passenger causes the plane to crash off the coast and Murphy is the sole survivor (there is one other possible survivor who runs off, just for any purist who might call me). Alone and surrounded by the undead he embarks on a desperate trek to get back to his family and safety.

Along the way he runs into Sergeant Daniel Dembele, whose village was overrun by the undead. Dembele is AWOL and looking for his son who escaped the village. They forge an uneasy alliance as they fight their way north toward sanctuary and through hordes of the undead. Will they find what they are looking for or find that sanctuary is just an illusion.

The Dead takes the very best of early Romero and makes it new and refreshing. Set in the beautiful but stark landscape of Africa. It’s the story of two men brought together by fate and the zombie menace. They are hardly friends to begin, in fact Dembele considers Murphy little more than an invader, with but they grow to respect each other. As they go north their trek becomes more futile and desperate, leading to an end that is both sad and poignant.

There is so much to like about this film. Romero fans will drool in joy at The Dead’s shambling hordes. Like the zombies in Dawn and Night of the Living Dead the horror comes not from the speed or strength of the zombies, but in the inevitability of them. They may be slow but they keep coming. They are legion, and everyone who does joins their ranks. They won’t chase you down, they don’t have too. That is the true horror of the zombie film. There is no escape. Wherever you go, you will find the dead.
Once again the only way to stop them is to shoot them in the head. No one ever says it in the film they just do it. That’s how it should be with zombies and The Dead stays true to the rule.
While the film might not be a gore fest, neither does it shy away from bloodshed. It keeps it bloody but in realistic amounts. The scenes of feeding zombies are the best and bloodiest since Day of the Dead in any zombie movie. Day had gorier, longer shots, but the scenes in The Dead were hardly tame. If anything they were more realistic, as the dead bit into hands, feet, and abdomens.

The protagonists end up fighting not only the zombies, but the environment, while also avoiding the local military, which forces them into more inhospitable environs. The politics never get heavy handed, we get hints of the resentment of Dembele toward the Americans, we see the poverty and waste of war but the filmmakers never preach to us. They just let us take it in and make our own decisions about what is happening in Africa.

What really makes it special is that we grow to care for both these characters. Neither one is in control of the situation. Both are pawns in their own way to forces way beyond them. Dembele is just a soldier, now AWOL to search for his son. Murphy is as he says “just an engineer, when things break I fix them.” These are throw away characters, not carbon copy stereotypes; these are people who could very well be any one of us. Just two lost men in a world gone mad, and when one of them loses their struggle we grieve for him.

In a film like The Dead a happy ending would be a betrayal. There is no betrayal here. The ending is as apocalyptic as they come. Neither of our heroes manage to accomplish their goal, though there is closure. A sad, realistic, inevitable closure, but anything else would have felt false. The Dead ends as it has to end, with the end. I don’t expect a sequel and honestly don’t hope to see one. That last scene said it all, it said enough.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Hellraiser:Revelations aka Victor Garcia laid a stinker

  Hellraiser: Revelations

AKA, I tried to replace Doug Bradley in an iconic film role and all I got was this...Hey, where' my T-shirt?

So against even my own misgivings, last week I watched Hellraiser:Revelations. Now I start almost every review with reminding my readers how much I hate remakes. Call it remake, reboot, or re imagining, an Irish rose by any other name still smells like shit.

Hellraiser:Revelations was originally pitched as a reboot, but was later changed to a continuation of the series or so we were lead to believe. However the film comes off just as remakey as remakes can be, so remake it is in my mind.

Beyond being a remake, what inspired the most ire in horror and Hellraiser fans was the decision to recast the lead cenobite. Pinhead as he was affectionately dubbed by his legion of fans (he goes unnamed in the films), has been played in the past by Doug Bradley. Indeed Bradley so personifies Pinhead that fans near revolted when he was replaced. Pinhead was no silent masked serial killer, he was a distinguished, erudite, disciple of the void. And his face and voice was that of Doug Bradley.

The luckless guy to take the job, well I don't remember his name and don't feel like looking it up. While I can't blame him for taking the job, I'm sure plenty of Bradley fans can, but I hope he at least knew what he was getting into to. It would take a near Oscar performance to make fans accept him, and well he didn't make it.

Still the faux pinhead wasn't the worst thing about the film. Hiss actual delivery of his lines was pretty good. That's about all I can say good about him, or the film. First off he was completely physically wrong for the part. At times he looked like a chubby kid dressing as Pinhead at Comicon, other times he looked he was headed to a rave complete with silver face paint.

His body language was laughable, serious he looked like a mime school dropout. With the horrible direction elsewhere I'll blame that on the director. As mentioned above the make up was silly. Add to that the stupidity of the dialogue and it was a loosing battle. Sorry bro, you sucked and the best thing you can hope for is that no one remembers your name from this.

The writing was even throughout, evenly bad. The plot was horrible, and just made no sense. It was like someone read the crib notes from Hellraiser as a guide, but never understood what he was reading. A lot of the elements of the original movie was there, but there was no real connection, no reason for them to be there. Not to mention the ludicrous elements like the cennobites stealing cars, and no one in the film having a cell phone.

Acting was non existent. there is much better acting in small films that never get a studio release, and that's a shame. Seriously there was not a believable line delivered by any character the entire movie. And I'm being charitable in saying that. My advice to the cast, blame the director and don't put this on your resume.

Probably the best thing about Hellraiser:Revelations was the special effects. The bad thing is that there were very few effects in the movie. The standard chain ripping effect was OK, the skinless man effect was OK. The Pinhead(s) makeup (did I mention there were actually two Pinheads?) was shitty as I mentioned before, but otherwise the effects were passable. Passable just isn't nearly enough to save this stinker. Hellraiser fan or not, Doug Bradley fan or not avoid this piece of shit at all costs. It's not even worth a slot on your Netflix Que.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

RIP Bill Hinzman

Just a quick farewell to a man who gave me and so many others such wonderful nightmares.  The "first" zombie in a film that would redefine the genre, and redefine horror.  Rest in Peace Bill