In the Dark with Hannah Elizabeth Smith

Hannah Elizabeth Smith star of Baphomet

Welcome back to the long over due second episode of In the Dark. Yes it has been a while but your ever loveable Lord Dixie is back with another episode. This week Dixie aka Allen is joined by special guest Hannah Elizabeth Smith. Hannah is a young, upcoming actor of both stage and screen from North Carolina. She has played the role of Carrie White in Carrie the musical, and Lady McBeth on stage. She is also the lead in the upcoming horror movie Baphomet. If you haven't been paying attention, Baphomet is the story of Hannah (played by Hannah Elizabeth Smith), a beautiful, sociopathic serial killer prowling the East Coast for victims. The project is still in the fund raising stage if you want to help out go here.

Lord Dixie even did a small write up for House of Tortured Souls, but Hannah will give us even more of the low down on the project. We will also talk about her other projects past, present and future, especially her role as Carrie White and upcoming Average Joe. Along with all this Hannah fills us in a bit on the state of the film industry in North Carolina after the loss of the tax incentives for film makers. Then the conversation turns south as they tackle the subject of the dick pic. What is the reasoning and logic of the dick pic? You might find out, or you might just shake your head.

Sadly the episode begins with the unwarranted and unwanted return of Sound Guy Willie. Who out there doesn't love Willie? Almost everyone apparently, Still he's back for his own brand of un-funny comedy. Still what can you do? We couldn't find a better bit in time for the show. It's OK if you just skip over him, we all want to skip past him.

But enjoy the conversation with Hannah Elizabeth Smith and keep an eye out for Baphomet.

Eli Roth's Clown

No Bozo, all blood on Clown

If it seems it has taken forever for Eli Roth's Clown to make it to the big screen, well it hasn't but it has been a few years, The film, about a man possessed by a demonic clown suit, was actually filmed way back in 2012. You know back when we all thought Donald Trump running for President was just a joke. Those were simpler, more innocent times. But now, Clown, bearing a 2014 release date is finally, actually available in the U.S. on VoD, almost four years after filming.

There has been buzz about Clown for the last several years, no doubt helped by the attachment of Roth's name as producer. But the film is good enough to stand  on it's own, and honestly is better than most of Roth's work in my opinion. Clown was directed by  Jon Watts, who resists the urge to add comedy to a dark film (pay attention Eli), and make no mistake Clown is a dark film.

Clowns have always inhabited that weird place in out lives and culture. On the surface, happy, funny beings meant to make us laugh.  Yet the truth is, Clowns are also scary as shit. Kids know this, adults know this and film makers know this fact. There's just something about that painted on smile that never seems sincere. Watts takes that deep seated fear and externalizes it in Clown.

In Clown,  Kent (Andy Powers) a loving, and hard working father is running late for his son's birthday party. Adding stress to the hectic day, he's just informed the clown he booked can't make it. Luckily he comes across a decrepit old clown suit in the closet of the house he's remodeling. In order to not disappoint his son he fatefully puts on the suit. Unbeknownst to him it's not actually a clown suit but the skin of an ancient demon. A demon that has a taste for children.

Peter Stormare finds left overs from the clown

Any time you throw kids into a horror mix, it can go to dark places. Normally filmmakers shy away from harming kids in films. It may be alluded to, but it's never really seen.  Clown doesn't shy away. You do see actual child deaths, so sensitive people should beware. The more graphic kills are kept off screen but you see the bloody consequences, and you know fully what's going on,

Don't look so sad Pennywise, we're still terrified of you

If the death and cannibalism of kids wasn't enough, the film is even darker by the fact no one involved really deserved their fate.  Kent is honestly a decent guy. We don't see him ignoring his kid, cheating on his wife, or any major hubris. He seems to genuinely love his family and wants to take care of them, His only minor flaw I could possibly point at was, did he steal the clown suit? But it was in a house, the owner was dead, and it was being remolded for sale. It would have definitely been tossed in the trash bin if he hadn't decided to wear it. No, Kent was just an innocent, a nice guy who stumbled onto an evil presence and was taken over by it. That, to me, makes Clown much scarier.

The film hints and feints at going to even darker places before pulling back to a safer ending. The final fate of the clown was perhaps the weakest part of the story. It was definitely the lighter of several possible endings, basically re-enforcing what Kent was told at the beginning, there's no real escape, On a last note the effects team did a great job on the clown make up. They manage to create a creature that looks nothing like a human being. We watch as Kent goes from a goofy looking clown to something ancient and sinister.

A rare light moment from The Clown

Clown also stars Laura Allen (From Within) as Kent's wife and Peter Stormare (Dylan Dog:Dead of Night) as Karlsson, a man who has a connection to the suit, and might know a way out, Director Jon Watts is next slated to direct the Marvel and Sony collaboration Spiderman: Homecoming. If Clown is any indication spidey fans should be in for a damn good time.

Grizzly Flats-Flat, and no Grizzly

With a Red Box rental being only a couple of bucks, sometimes you take a chance even when you know better.  Sometimes you get a pleasant surprise like Exit Humanity, other times you get Grizzly Flats.  I guess I’m a bit of a sucker for rampaging bear movies.  Maybe it was because I remember the lurid commercials for Grizzly as a child, or maybe just because I secretly always hoped Ben would one day take the head off that pompous Dan Haggerty. Well, there was no Grizzly, in Grizzly Flats,, rampaging or not, and barely a movie.

The plot, if you can all it that, is that a brilliant scientist runs off to the middle of the wilderness to build a sort of dimensional resonator.  His trial runs apparently allow shadow people to cross over into our dimension.  The shadow people harass him and his wife, as well as the local meth cooking inbreeds, and the resident trailer park hooker.  The wife finds a gourd baby, the scientist starts tweaking, the hooker gets scarred, the sheriff finally gets to see some boob, the inbreeds get killed, and the shadow men do shadow shit.  If only the movie was as short as that synopsis, I would only have wasted 2 bucks not an hour and a half.

So where to begin? This is really bad even for a low budget.  First the scientist Sylvane, or something it sounded a lot like So Vain (I’d accuse the director of being clever, but the movie itself makes that unlikely), a brilliant physicist who leaves a university to go to the wilderness to work on his invention.  His invention, a dimensional resonator which apparently is constructed from metal plates, copper tubing and a few circuit boards, looked a lot like Robbie the Robot if he were converted into a moonshine still.

Well So Vain likes to yell, like almost every line in the film.   If he isn’t yelling he’s talking in an “I’m better than you” sarcastic tone.  This makes it impossible to like him, care for him or take him seriously.  This is a bad thing for the main character, especially the protagonist in the film.  Maybe if he had been slightly less annoying and hysterical, he would have done a decent job, but I doubt it.  As it is I don’t know who the actor who played him is, and don’t care enough to look him up.

His wife was cute, but her acting skills were limited to, well honestly she had no skills, at least none on display.  She couldn’t have convinced me she had nice tits, if she had taken her shirt off, her acting was that bad.  The gourd baby was a better actor than his mom or dad.

The star power is provided by Judd Nelson, who plays the world’s most pathetic pornographer and red neck sheriff.  He is the most believable actor in the film, but it had to be force of habit, a very weak force at that.  He mostly just wanders around talking in a monotone, and trying to get the local hooker naked on tape.  The fact that the local law, can’t get the local prostitute naked (until she is horribly scarred, more later) points to the intelligence of this whole script.  Come on now.

The local hooker, who Nelson calls “Daddy”? Or maybe it’s Danni? Who the fuck knows, and does anyone really care for that matter.  She is played by Danielle de Luca, and Danielle is the only good thing about the film, it’s also probably her most embarrassing.  She is raped and horribly scarred by the shadow men. By horribly scarred I mean she has had a New York strip steak taped to her face.   She doesn’t really get to show off her acting skills, but she does show her breasts, much to the audience, and Judd Nelson’s relief.

The inbred rednecks are probably the most stupidly stereotypical rednecks on film since the Clampet family. They cook meth, are toothless, have speech impediments and dress like the Winter’s brothers.  Every time they opened their mouth I wanted to kill a city slicker.

As for the story, well there was no story. No coherent story anyway.  The scientist’s master plan to defeat the shadow men is to smoke meth with the rednecks and then shoot their weapons wildly and randomly into the air, as shadow men fly all around them. Not surprisingly but stupidly all the rednecks end up dead.  The scientist, his brilliant plan failing returns home and cooks his disturbed wife’s gourd baby and feed it to her.  That will snap her back to reality.  Thankfully he still had a bullet left in the gun so the movie ended shortly after that.

The direction couldn’t have been much more than “yell louder” “laugh manically” or “shoot randomly”.  I’ve seen better dialogue in a bukakke video.  For the actor playing Pastor Ron, retire immediately, go into stand up comedy, and immediately retire from that.  It’s like he was trying his best to be funny and he wasn’t.   The only time I almost laughed was in his final scene, and even that was badly botched

Really, it was that bad, worse actually, I’m just not watching it again to make the review more thorough.   There is absolutely no real reason to watch this film.  Danielle de Luca is gorgeous, but see Naked Prey if you haven’t already.  She’s totally nude and it’s a much better film.  Or see Necrosis, where she doesn’t get naked, but it’s a good little film.  Judd Nelson fans, stay the hell away, you’ll just feel sorry for him and try and send him money.  Just remember him as he was.   There is the novelty of seeing a relative of the master Edgar Allen Poe as one of the rednecks, but he has other films.

I gave this a one on IMDB, but I don’t have to be that kind on my blog.  On a scale of 1-10, I give it a -2.  If this film were lying on a beach, House of the Dead would kick sand in it’s face.

Giallo, Oh Dario Where Art Thou?

Adrien Brody in Giallo

Well that’s the question fans have been asking for years about Dario Argento, where is the director who gave us Suspiria, Bird with the Crystal Plumage, and Deep Red?  Maybe that’s a bit unfair but it seems for every semi decent project, there are a couple stinkers.  His Masters of Horror efforts were decent, some of the better of the series, but far from his heyday. When word got out he was working on a project called Giallo, fans got excited.  Dario was returning to the genre where he excelled, the Giallo.  Unfortunately Argento has pretty much disowned the film, unhappy with the cut forced upon him.  Not only that, but star Adrien Brody, successfully blocked it’s release due to issues with the producers.

Now however Giallo has finally been released. And the wait, well was kind of worth it.  It isn’t a horrible film, and Argento has done worse (Mother of Tears), but it is far from his best work. It also thematically falls far from his previous work.  Gone is any suspense about who the killer is, well almost all the suspense.  Going into the film I had no idea Adrien Brody was playing a double role, and within minutes I recognized the killer was Brody.  Until the killer is finally full on display I assumed Brody’s detective was moonlighting as the villainous “Giallo”.  I can only guess that was the Argento’s attempt at suspense.

Even the name of the film seems a misdirection of sorts.  Giallo, which means yellow in Italian, typically refers to a genre of films popular in Italy in which Argento was a master.  The term typically was reserved for horror/mystery films that were bloody and erotic.  The term giallo came as many of these were based on pulp novels with their yellow background and covers.  However the name of the movie Giallo, just as much refers to the killer, who is named “Giallo” due to his yellow tinted skin.  Jaundice just doesn’t have the same ring after all.
Unlike in his better films, there is little suspense, once you realize Brody isn’t the killer.  There also isn’t that much violence or sex.  Also none of the bright trippy colors and innovative camera work from his prime.  The story is maybe a bit clearer than in his classics, I have always found Dario’s narrative a bit confusing, but watching classic Argento is like riding a Space Mountain.  You’re there for the thrill of the ride, not the backstory.  I could actually keep up with this story and that made up for the lack of style.  Well just a little.  Dario Argento has himself disavowed the movie.  Normally I would think his cut would be better, but having seen the trailer for his Dracula, I’m afraid his cut would have been worse.  In all honesty I, like a lot of his fans, have lost faith in Argento.  At least lost faith in his ability to do what he has done best.

His best work lately, Jennifer and Pelts are far from his traditional fare.  Giallo, a return to his roots, is just kind of there.  It’s not unwatchable, and Adrien Brody plays a great detective.  However his villain, Giallo is nothing special.  The bad makeup can’t hide Brody’s features, and his mumbling is more annoying than chilling.  While it’s better than 90% of the crap released, it’s not the Master of Italian Giallo.   It’s better than Mother of Tears and appears to be light years better than Dracula, but it’s not quite as good as his Master of Horror episodes.

The film also stars Emanuelle Seigner, wife of accused pedophile Roman Polanski, and Elsa Pataky. Neither one is particulary interesting. Pataky spends most of the film screaming in the finest Giallo tradition.  Seigner just seems a bit lost, there's little to no chemistry between her and Brody and her character is very thinly written.  She like Pataky is more a plot device to move the film along, than an actual character.

Final verdict, it’s an ok watch.  Adrien Brody is fun to watch, at least in one of his roles.  It’s light on sex and nudity, and light on violence.  There are a couple of intense scenes but they are few and far between.  The ending was meant to be chilling, but just comes off as unfinished.  Don’t rush to buy unless you are a hardcore fan worshiping at Dario’s feet.  Everyone else should catch it on Netflix or cable.

Zombie Girl Diary teaser trailer

Here is the new teaser trailer fo the independent horror film Zombie Girl Diary, directed by Mike Pine.  The film stars Vanessa Rae Bent, Jim Krut, Jimmyo Burrill and Eliza Jayne.  It's set to start filming soon, look for it zombie fans

You also might be interested in my interview with Mike Pine the director of Zombie Girl Diary

Ten Foreign Films That Shame American Horror.

Ten Foreign Films That Shame American Horror. 

Ok I may come off as a film prude from time to time, but I think most people would agree mainstream American cinema is filled with lightweight fluff.  Horror seems to have suffered more than any, and I, like many horror fans, have turned more and more to foreign films.  I don’t claim to be an expert on foreign film, or film in general, but I know what I like, and can recognize a good movie. So here’s my top ten list (of 11 films) that really outshine the American horror film.

1.       Martyrs- Hailing from France, Martyrs is one of the most brutal films you will ever see.  The film moves along at a hectic pace, and the few times it slows down just gives you time to let what happened sink in.  The final few minutes are an exercise in depravity that is just hard to watch.  One of the scariest things about Martyrs is that it doesn’t follow the rules.  There’s no safety, no hope, no hero, and if the last scene is to true, no peace even in death.

2.       REC- This is what a zombie film should be like, OK maybe they really aren’t zombies, but possessed people, still REC has everything a good horror fan wants. A beautiful heroine in Manuela Velasco, a group of survivors fighting for their lives, and ravenous blood crazed, flesh ripping zom, er well whatever they are.  If you liked the American remake Quarantine, check this far superior original versiontied

And

 Rec 2- Sequel to the Spanish Horror movie of the same name, REC2 loses very little of the originals magic.  Set in the same location as the original, literally hours after the original, Rec 2 deals with a group sent in to rescue the survivors.  Or were they?  Some fans complained about the films moving closer to a possession storyline, but in actuality it just helps further separate from the American “zombie” films.  While they aren’t zombies by the traditional standard, and they even run, horror fans didn’t seem to mind and are eagerly awaiting a third installment later this year.

3.       Ju-on- This is the film that started it all.  Back before scary Japanese kids were a cliché, this introduced America to the Japanese ghost story.  Maybe it wasn’t the first, but by way of its American remake, it was the first to become widely known in the states.  It spawned numerous sequels, which weren’t bad but didn’t seem to have the same magic as the original.  They weren’t helped by the saturation of the Asian market with spooky kid movies, and American remakes and spoofs.

4.       I Saw the Devil- You can argue that I Saw the Devil isn’t horror and, honestly might have a point if you only consider horror to be pertaining to the supernatural.  That however leaves out a lot of films normally considered horror.  While it isn’t supernatural, the brutality in this film matches or exceeds that found in a lot of American “torture porn.”  The fact that it has an intelligent story, excellent acting and brilliant direction shouldn’t exclude it from the horror genre.  If anything it just shows how accepting we have come to be of stupidity in horror.  The best film of 2011 is a must see and is far better than any American horror film released in recent years.

5.       R-Point- I described R-Point to a friend as a ghost story, but it’s really not in any traditional sense.  While ghosts are involved, it’s really hard to shoe horn it into the ghost story genre.  It’s more a movie about an evil place, and the evil deeds done there.  It’s a Korean film and those accustomed to creepy kids in their Asian horror might find this a welcome break from the norm, as the film focuses on a military unit during the Viet Nam war.

6.       Audition-Takashi Miike is known in America for his mostly extreme gore and violence in films like Ichi the Killer.  Audition doesn’t slack on the violence and gore but it’s still probably the most easily digested by the American audience.  Probably the most striking thing about Audition is its sudden 180 from sweet love story to violent horror. There are hints that all is not right, some subtle, some not so much, but the last half of the movie will still hit you like a sledge hammer to the head.

7.       A Tale of Two Sisters-Another Asian film subjected to an inferior American remake.  More of a psychological thriller than supernatural horror, the film keeps its audience from guessing what exactly is going on till near the end.  It is a haunting, evil spirits or just the horrors of a deranged mind.

8.       Thirst-Park Chan-wook followed his revenge trilogy with his take on the vampire mythos.  No sparkly emo teens, or desiccated corpse, his vampire is a fairly unique creature, more reminiscent of Christopher Lee than Bela.  Charming, sexy and brutal, this is probably one of the more erotic, and artful of recent mainstream vampire films.  Fans of the revenge trilogy, might be a bit disappointed but it stands out among recent vampire films

9.       Dream Home- If there is any film that competes with Martyrs in true brutality, and maybe even surpasses it, it’s Dream Home.  Not to be confused with the American film with a similar name, this is Asian gore at it’s realistic best.  The realism of this film and the fact that it could very well happen make it all the more disturbing.  Warning expectant parents might want to skip this one, even if you have seen the French Inside, you will be shocked by this film and one scene in particular.

10.   Let the Right One In- Possibly the best film on the list, it is also probably the less gory of the list.  It’s also one of the few (alongside REC) to have a semi-decent American remake.  At heart it’s as much a coming of age love story as a horror film.  It just happens the person coming of age is a bullied young boy, who befriends the vampire next door.

Special mention goes to A Serbian Film for going where no American film would ever go.  While it has some major flaws you can’t deny the power of it.  It is almost nonstop sexual and physical brutality, with a message.  It’s biggest flaw is the power overwhelms the message for the most part.

Underworld Awakening eyes wide open

OK so Underworld Awakening is the newest film in the Underworld series. Now if you are one of those people unfamiliar with the Underworld series, aka real horror fans, it is basically the story of a sexy vampire with an S and M fetish who falls in love with the lead singer of Creed.

Stapp or Speedman, you decide

This is the fourth film in the Underworld franchise and it reunites Selene, played by Kate Beckinsale and Michael, played by Scott Stapp, um Scott Speedman.  Both stars were absent from the third film.  Beckinsale apparently busy with other film projects.  Speedman touring with Kid Rock.  Their reunion is short however letting Beckinsale carry most of the film.  Not that I'm complaining.  Leather clad hottie Beckinsale vs weepie emo werewolf, yeah no complaints.




With truth in advertising firmly in mind there is an actual awakening in the film.  Of course for an awakening someone must be put to sleep, someone besides the audience that is.

Where Underworld Rise of the Lycans was set in the past the majority of Underworld Awakening is set in the future.  Twelve years from the start of the film which we assume is set in the near future.  The gist of the film is that the human population has suddenly become aware of the vampires and werewolves living among them. 


We never find out exactly how and can only assume it was from watching True Blood.  Michael and Selene's reunion is short loved as the humans attack.  Michael falls into the ocean and Selene goes after him, as a bomb explodes they embrace, with arms wide open.  OK that's the last Creed joke.  I promise.

Really hates Alterbridge

Twelve years later, Selene is revived from cryogenic sleep by someone whom she thinks is Michael.  She escapes from a lab and goes in search of Michael, only to find a very different world, where vampires and lycans are almost extinct and in hiding.  She also finds that she has given birth while in cryo sleep.  How embarrassing is that?  As she searches for Michael, while trying to protect her hybrid kid, who just happens to be coolest thing about Underworld Awakening, besides Beckinsale's booty that is. Stuff explodes, lycans transform, and vampires go "RARRR" in the camera with fangs bared.  Ya know, usual Underworld stuff.

Fans of the Underworld series won't be disappointed unless they came to see Michael.  It's basically more of the same formula.  Kate is still hot, lots of guns, werewolves etc, etc.  The series as a whole is getting a bit old but having Beckinsale back adds a bit of juice to it.  The open ended conclusion will keep the loyal fans itching for the next film.

My major complaint was the 3-D, which I felt forced to watch as every theater near me only had one non 3-D showing.  There was just no need. This is a 3-D movie when 3-D is the norm, not for now when it still costs extra for 3-D.  It did add to a few scenes, and made them look more real. Those scenes were where a character is just standing or walking and the 3-D adds depth to the scene.   However the 3-D dust clouds and gun barrels pointing into the screen are more annoying than anything else.

There was also too much CGI.  Now I know complaining about too much CGI in an Underworld film is like complaining there are too many dicks in a gang bang video, but still there was too much CGI.  Not just the transformation scenes, but all through the movie.  Especially the giant ass werewolf, honestly why not a normal sized werewolf, just with more strength and stamina.  I honestly felt like I was watching a Resident Evil movie every time the bigun was on screen.

Last complaint.  Kate Beckinsale.  Get your kit off or stop teasing.  Seriously.  You are becoming like that high school girl who always says she MIGHT go out with you, but is always washing her hair.  OK personally I never heard the "washing you hair" story, mine was "I might go out with you, call me when you aren't so creepy."  In Underworld Awakening we are treated to Kate in a cryo tank naked as naked can be, but do we see anything?  Even after the tank breaks, we get Kate lying on the floor in what can only be called "lessons in implied nudity 101."  All I could keep thinking was "If this was Milla we be seeing some boob," this isn't Milla though.  I know being nude on film can be a hard thing to do, and I believe in personal choice, all I'm saying is stop with the tease.  Tit or no tit, there is no implied.  Sorry Yoda.


With all that I can't say I didn't enjoy Underworld Awakening.  However I find it hard to say I enjoyed it.  It was just kind of meh.  The fights were fun, watching Kate walk around was fun, guns go pow pow.  This is the kind of film that should have went straight to DVD. Watching this on Netflix with a cold beer would have been funner than hell.  In the theater, I just kept thinking about what I could have used the ten bucks for.

Super hot Beckinsale

So should you rush out to see Underworld Awakening?
Depends on just how much of an Underworld and more importantly a Selene fan you are.  Personally I'd say wait till it's on DVD

Megan is Missing

Megan is Missing

I went into Megan is Missing with basically no prior information on the story. I did know that it dealt with child abduction in some way but little more.  I had heard from friends that it wasn't worth the time and from other friends it was a must see film.

Honestly, after watching it myself, I have to say it falls somewhere in between.  It isn't trash, but I don't know if I would call it a classic just yet.  It's powerful film, with a powerful message, unfortunately it also has some powerful flaws.  Those flaws unfortunately lend to the power of the film, but they still are flaws in my opinion.

Megan is Missing is a disturbing film, some have said the most disturbing film of all time.  I think a lot of the disturbing quality will come from how closely you identify with the characters.  Mothers with teen daughters will be very disturbed, all parents will be bothered.  In all honestly, mothers with weak hearts should maybe pass on Megan is Missing. Which is a problem with the film.  Many of the people who will be the most moved, won't be able to handle it.

Despite what the title might lead you to believe Megan is Missing deals with not just Megan's disappearance but also that of her best friend Amy.  Amy and Megan are teenage best friends and seemingly polar opposites.  Unlike most odd couple pairings in films, their friendship comes off as real and unforced. Megan is the cool popular teen, while Amy is a bit of a wall flower.  Through online chat rooms, Megan makes friends with an unknown boy, arranging a date and goes missing.  After Amy goes to the police with what she knows, she too goes missing.  Shortly after we find out what happened and descend into what could be the darkest 22 minutes ever filmed.  I will go into those 22 minutes so anyone wishing to avoid a full spoiler can do so.

For the most part Megan is Missing can be described as a  "found footage" film along the lines of The Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield.  The film quality is better than either of these and there are few if any instances of shaky cam filming though.  The majority of the film, at least up to the last 22 minutes, are composed of alleged web cam footage, mixed in with police tapes, news footage, and the girls video diaries.  The quality is excellent for this type of film, and my head is glad there was no bouncing footage to bring on a migraine.

As I started watching I had a problem with the girls acting and dialogue, but as I got into the film it sank in that this was what I should be seeing and hearing.  This wasn't a high dollar A list film.  This was supposed to be two teenage girls "acting" for the cam.  When chatting with friends the dialogue and acting was believe able.  When they were hamming it up for their video camera, it was more stiff and unbelievable.  The type of script two teens would come up with.

There are several of those moments in Megan is Missing.  Moments where at first you think "this is stupid" then realize, "No this could really happen."  One of those big moments was when we "meet" Josh. His dialogue screams PREDATOR, but the girls fall for it.  Crazy right?  Not if you have spent any time around young girls.  Teen girls are way too trusting.  The fact that this film is based on several accounts of real  abductions lends weight to it.  Don't believe me?  Just check out Facebook, see how many teen girls have their phone numbers listed.  Maybe not every teen girl would fall for Josh's lines, but many would.

The treatment of Amy by Megan's other friends also seems exaggerated at first.  She is totally rejected  by the other students and verbally abused, even blamed for Megan's disappearance,  but believe it couldn't happen?  Bullying is rampant in America.  Kids are bullied to the point of suicide. Amy's plight is unfortunately, way to real.

The characters of Megan and Amy were both fleshed out more than typical teen characters.  Megan is more than just the oversexed party girl she first appears.  She genuinely cares for Amy and puts her own social standing at risk for her.  The film makers give us a glimpse into why she acts the way she does, and once again, it's all too real.  It might be a bit of a cliche but it  works and adds another layer of depth to the character.

Most of the other characters in the film are one dimensional, almost silhouettes . This doesn't detract from the movie, but like a photographer blurring the background, keeps the focus squarely on Megan and Amy.  Josh in fact is never fully seen, and in fact we never know for sure if "Josh" is even the one responsible.  We ate strongly led to believe that he is the culprit but I could make a case that it isn't.  We never see his face, and until the last 22 minutes never see any part of him.  There is a blurry image on a security camera of a man who is assumed to be Josh, but we never know for sure.

Which brings us to probably the most disturbing, most controversial part of the film.  The final 22 minutes.  The onscreen caption declares it as the final 22 minutes of tape on Amy's video camera, uncut and unedited.  While watching this, I checked my clock several times, wishing it was almost over.

 I think the director decided to go for reality more than good film making at this point.  There was a point, in the last half of those 22 minutes, where it just seemed to keep going with no real purpose, except that it took that long to happen.  After the initial shock wears off  I just got tired of watching it, and I admit it was bothering me.    I also admit I sped the movie up, stopping occasionally to make sure I missed nothing.

 It was basically ten minutes or so of the same thing.  Boring one part of my mind, disturbing the other.  If I had not been told at the beginning of the film that the two girls had never been found, perhaps I could have held more interest, more tension, hoping for that eventual rescue.  That was how I watched Martyrs.  During the incessant torture there, I kept hoping Ana would escape somehow.  In Megan is Missing, I knew what was coming at the end.  I just didn't know how I would be taken there.  While for me this was a bit of a hindrance I can see most viewers sitting shocked through the whole ordeal.  I can also see a lot of people not able to take it and switching the film off.  Honestly if I was the director I wouldn't mind people switching off, it just proves how powerful it was. 
***************************************************
Now for spoilers****************************************The Last 22 minutes**********
*****************************************************************

The last 22 minutes document exactly what happened to Amy.  Kidnapped by the same person who had kidnapped Megan, Amy is locked away in what appears to be a basement.  She is forced to eat what appears to be dog food (without using your hands).  Some point later she is taken out of her cell and viciously raped.  I will say this is probably the most vicious rape I have ever seen ion film, and yes I have seen irreversible.  The director does this with no graphic gore or nudity.  Instead we see a closeup of Amy's face in camera as she is violently raped. You can tell what is happening but all you can focus on is Amy's face.  The baby rape in A Serbian Film looks like a cartoon compared to this.  This is real, or as real as I ever want to see on film.

As disturbing as this is it's the end that will probably haunt people the most.  I didn't time it, and it seemed to go on forever, but I'd estimate 10 minutes or so is pure torture (no better word)for the viewer.  Amy is forced into a barrel with Megan's corpse and it is sealed shut.  The camera is placed on the ground and we watch as Josh digs what is to become their grave.  All the while we hear Amy cry and beg for her life.  We know how it's going to end and after what seems an eternity it does.

The movie has been condemned for it's disturbing content among other things. I have heard complaints that it glorifies teen sex, that it unreasonably scares parents, and presents and unrealistic portrait of teen life.  The film is disturbing, I wont argue that point, but unlike many shocking films it is practically gore free.

The gore is so scarce that the few, well timed moments of visceral horror really take you by surprise.  When we see Megan's corpse it was like a slap in the face.  It only on screen for a fraction of a second, but that was enough, in fact it was brilliant.  Not long enough to look for the effects, but long enough to sear in your brain.  Then the horror of knowing Amy was locked into the barrel with the decomposing body of her best friend, was almost unbearable.

As to it's effects on parents, I might also reluctantly agree, to a point anyway.  I do think that parents should be more aware of their kids Internet activity.  There really are "Josh's" out there, as well as a multitude of other predators, some worse than others.  However we can't go to the point of locking our children  away in towers, and I see many children facing stricter curfews after their parents watch Megan is Missing.  Hopefully parents will also take note of what ultimately drove Megan down the path she took.  While a dysfunctional family doesn't guarantee a bad end, it definitely weighs the odds toward it.

Anyone who thinks the portrayal of teens is off, honestly doesn't know teens.  In fact I think they made a direct hit.  One thing that caught my eye was the way Amy was handled.  As the ugly duckling in the friendship she barely exists to those around her.  It's as if the film makers are confirming that  in the teenagers world, she isn't as important as Megan.  Even after her disappearance, all the focus is on Megan.   Megan's name is in the title and on the lips of everyone discussing the film, yet it is Amy who's torture we are forced to endure.

Megan is the name on everyone's lips when discussing the film, and I'm sure a lot of people will associate the torture with Megan.  In our heads Megan is who is getting tortured.  It's like the director is forcing us to face the fact that girls like Amy aren't as important to us.  As much as we rail and storm at the evil bullies who abuse those who are different, we are all guilty of being drawn to the beautiful people.

Or maybe I"m way off base.

So my opinion?  While technically it might not be a great film, it packs a wallop.  It paints an all too real, all too scary picture, and accomplishes what the director intended.  It scares the shit out of parents.  While I will say this definitely qualifies as a horror film. a lot of horror films might find it slow and boring.  I found the burial scene both disturbing, and well not boring but tedious.  I admit I fast forwarded though it.  The film is basically gore free which will make it more accessible to a wide audience but will turn off some hardcore gore fans, as well as  fans of Saw and Hostel.  That part is a shame because this movie will actually scare them.  In many ways Megan is Missing has brought fear back into a largely neutered genre.

Do yourself a favor (if you can call it that) and check out Megan is Missing.  Just be prepared to be disturbed.

Hiss Hottie Mallika Sherawat



Super Sexy Mallika Sherawat

Jennifer Lynch tapped into Indian mythology for her 2010 movie Hisss.  It features Mallika Sherawat as the shape changing super sexy snake goddess the Nagin.  Mallika heats up the film just like she has heated up Bollywood in general.  The beautiful Mallika has stirred controversy through out her native land by her willingness to show some skin and bring the sexy to her films.  India is ultra conservative and Mallika is anything but conservative

Check out a few pictures of the exquisite Mallika Sherawat, and then check out Hisss by Jennifer Lynch.

Bollywood Sexy Starlet Mallika Sherawat

Hisss hottie Mallika Sherawat

The hottest starlet in Bollywood Malliak Sherawat

Sexy to the extreme Mallika Sherawat

Busty Sexy Mallika Sherawat

Hobo With a Shotgun

Hobo With a Shotgun

All the advance word on Hobo With a Shotgun likened it to Grindhouse cinema. Being a fan of the grind I was eager to check it out. I got the chance to meet with Hobo director Jason Eisner at Texas Frightmare Weekend. Coming home I was even more determined to see the film. Luckily the film was out on VoD and I finally got the time to sit back and watch it.



Rutger plays the titular anti- hero. It is a bit of a different role than I have ever seen him in before. He plays a world weary hero, who sees too much and realizes he can’t just turn away anymore.



The film starts off slow. Almost too slow. Don’t get me wrong there is loads of violence all garishly shown in full detail. The violence is mostly cartoonish, over the top and brightly colored. Still the film just never seemed to get me going. That changed once the Hobo finds the shotgun.



With gun in hand the random gore turns into a symphony of brutality and Hauer conducts it with aplomb. Bad guys are blown away in rapid succession including a pedophile Santa. Rutger delivers one liners that would make Clint Eastwood blush. In many scenes he seems to be channeling Dirty Harry.



The violence is so over the top it isn’t hard to watch. People overly sensitive, especially to violence toward children may have a problem with it. It’s no Hostel, no A Serbian Film, and in reality it’s not even a Grindhouse film. Hobo With a Shotgun is more akin to the video nasties of the VHS age in the 80s. Think Troma, especially The Toxic Avenger, and some of the gorier Full Moon efforts.



It isn’t a happy film. It’s not a feel good film. It is a movie to watch a good guy who’s had enough slaughter cartoonish bad guys. It is a fun movie, but a fun movie for people who enjoy comedic, over the top gore. I liked it. Does that tell you anything?

Quarentine

One of the best of the American remakes of a foreign horror film is Quarantine.  Quarantine is fairly faithful to it's Spanish predecessor although it does have a different motive for the outbreak.  A motive that is not as fully explained as in the original.  If you are not a fan of shaky cam it's a good bet you wont be a big fan of Quarantine.  Seeing it in the theater gave me a pretty good headache.  The effect isn't nearly as migraine inducing on the small screen.  I really can't bring any major faults to bear on the film.  Quarantine is a strong film with a capable cast lead by Jennifer Carpenter.  Carpenter is probably best known as Deb Morgan on Dexter.  Jay Hernandez of Hostel plays one of the firefighters.  While Carpenter's hysterics get a bit annoying near the end, I found them realistic under the circumstances she was in.  Seeing clips may lead you to think of her as a weak character, but she isn't.  Her role is a strong character, way out of her league and in a hopeless situation.  My only real bitch is that the promo poster and trailer give away too much.  I won't spoil it by saying more about it.  Still, while I really enjoyed Quarantine, I liked REC better.  Pretty much everything I liked in Quarantine, I liked better in REC.  The lead actress was more believable and personable as a TV host and the background cast seems less like actors and more like people filmed for a news crew.  The people in REC just looked, and behaved, more like I would expect people to look on a broadcast from a disaster.  That being said I highly recommend Quarantine, but watch REC first.

The Ninth Gate

From director Roman Polanksi and starring Johnny Depp, The Ninth Gate revolves around Depp playing Dean Corso who is basically a bounty hunter for rare books.  Frank Langella stars as Boris Balkan a wealthy collector who hires Depp to find a rare and powerful book, reputed to be written by the devil himself.  As he delves deeper into the satanic underbelly of Europe's elite, Depp gets drawn deeper into the dark side himself.  The idea of forbidden books and films that hold a power of their own has always been a popular subject with me so I admit to being a fan of this film.  I also am  a huge Johnny Depp fan and he plays the sleazy book finder  Dean Corso with his usual gusto.  The problem with The Ninth Gate is that it is just so slow.  The action is few and far between and scares are non existent.  the best parts of the film are Depp and Langella and the fact that Polanski doesn't have time to have sex with thirteen year old girls if he is busy directing.  If you go in expecting a real horror movie you will most likely be disappointed.  If you want a  fairly intelligent film or just want to indulge your Depp fix, then you might enjoy it

Wake Wood - Synopsis, pics and poster

Wow this movie really looks....a lot like pet Sematary. The poster does look sweet and the pictures are mildly creep. Plus it's umm shot in Ireland? That can't hurt.

 

Here's the synopsis

The film tells the story of Patrick and Louise Daley, whose nine year old daughter, Alice, is brutally killed in a frenzied dog attack. To escape their grief, the devastated young parents relocate from the city to the remote rural community of Wake Wood. Sensing their loss, the people of Wake Wood introduce the couple to a secret, pagan ritual that will allow them 3 more days with Alice before she is returned to the ground forever. But what will they do when it's time for Alice to go back?

stars Timothy Spall and Brenden Gleeson.  Some pictures below
 
 
 
 
 

 

 
Hey Gage!  You down there?
 
 
 

 

 
Hillbilly Hostel                                                                   or Wicker Man on a budget?
 
 
 
 

Legion trailer

Trailer in HD for the new horror film Legion. Check it out

When God loses faith in humanity, he sends a legion of angels to wipe out the human race. It's only hope is a group of misfits holed up in a diner, aided by the archangel Michael.